What's your favourite non-sweary / semi-sweary insult?

[AffIt]

I really enjoy a good creative insult (although don't get me wrong, I also enjoy the huge varieties of ways in which the word 'fuck' can be used in daily life).

As a Scot, I feel we're pretty good at this sort of thing - 'pie' and 'rocket' being two personal favourites. It's amazing how you can make two fairly innocuous words sting just through context / intonation.

What are your favourites?

We like Berk as a catch all.

Stop berking about
You silly old berk
He's a right berk

Apparently it means the C word, because Berkshire Hunt = cunt, but it doesn't really round here.

Ooh, I got hidden. Didn’t know MN did that. Fair enough! I didn’t bother to censor any words. If my post gets unhidden, then it will will prove my point. If not, then it will look like I said something hugely offensive, which I really didn’t!

The specific thing is really tall men strangers commenting on my height and feeling like they just have

I use "who put 50p in the dickhead" when someone is giving it all blah blah blah, use fud, rocket, bawheid. I also use fuck, shit and cunt a lot, yes I know its not big nor clever, but sometimes you just need to use the word with a heavy accent and power to make them aware that they need to shut up and back away quickly 😂

to tell me that I'm short. I love responding with mock surprise in my face and going "Really? Please, tell me more!"

My Grandma used to call people she didn't particularly like a midden/middin and it always made me chuckle.

Go dtachtar le d’anáil thú
(That you may choke on your breath)

Love this and am definitely going to nick it. It sounds so much ruder than it is (even without the 'fucking').

I call the DC wazzocks a lot

YES! I love "bumshank".

"You plum". Often addressed to the dog.

A particular favourite is an early Richard Curtis line (from The Tall Guy):
"I hope all of your children have very tiny dicks! And that INCLUDES the girls!"

we were discussing this at work once..... unfortunately my declaration of "I love cock" came at a particularly quiet moment in the office 😱

That made me spit my tea out! Pinecone - it's weirdly hilarious 😂

Bless ya heart lol

Prannock.

DC get called "dim-dot"

Fuckwit is my current favourite especially when applied to other drivers on the road

Pastie

Yep - spelt that way

Wet wipe.

Turnip ('He's an absolute TURNIP')
Fool of a Took (this must be muttered)

And I use dickhead but that's still sweary

Cockwomble and Knobjockey have also served well in the past.

neverendinglauaundry · Today 12:23

Spoon

A favourite of mine, too. And Spanner.

I was hoping for a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed

Nincompoop, nitwit and numskull. Instead of 'WTF' I say What the trumpet? or What the Murgatroyd? Don't ask me to explain these two - I can't!

Fud — short u, hard d. Rhymes with mud. Although it can vary a little depending on dialect (and on how much expostulation is put behind it). You'd hear it slightly differently if a Glaswegian said it versus an Aberdonian, for example.

Hm equivalent of rocket would be idiot, dickhead, nob, fool, that kind of thing. Although IME rocket can be used in semi-affectionate way.

It can also mean 'crazy'.