DP sacked - handhold please

[Springbluebell]

I need a handhold really.

DP has just been sacked. We both live with our respective parents, he moved back a few months ago after tenancy ended and I used to rent but COVID ruined my life and I still haven’t financially recovered and had to move back.

His boss is horrible, I know him personally. He has always picked on DP despite him trying his best. Owners of the company visit and often commend his work which makes his boss very irate. It isn’t even in DPs nature to argue back or fan the flames of conflict. Today stemmed from DP completing his list of tasks early, his boss complained things that weren’t on the list weren’t done. DP pointed out they were not on his tasks and his boss blew up as he usually does and sacked him.

We have been working so hard, we were finally going to be able to have enough to rent in a few months and have a home to call our own again. I suffer from mental health conditions as does he but we both make sure we get up and go to work and try to claw our way out of a bad position mentally and with our housing situations as we both have extremely toxic and abusive family. I am only able to work part time and his job was paid well enough especially for his field of work.

I’m just heartbroken, in shock and I feel sick. He will find work again but this will set us back for months. I’m so tired of setbacks in life. I feel desperately sad for my DP. I know this is going to be so difficult for him, not to mention his family will blame him and kick him while down.

Just looking for some support. I’m on my way to meet DP now

It doesn’t really have to set you back months though does it. Plenty of places taking on with an immediate start, particularly in hospitality or retail.

Bollocks. Call ACAS in the morning. I’ve dealt with them in the past, really helpful. www.acas.org.uk
His boss sounds horrible.

Will his/her parents be able to support them or give an allowance while they find a new job? It's really rubbish. Hope they are okay.

Putting the new job/ways to go against old employer to one side, I am sorry it has set back your plans so much. Once he has a new job you will be able to get back on track with your plans. Be slow and methodical and work towards small goals. If you keep going you will get there. And if there is a few months delay to the overall plan, that will be forgotten the day you get the keys to your new home together. You just need to keep moving forwards.

@cherish123 Will his/her parents be able to support them or give an allowance while they find a new job? It's really rubbish. Hope they are okay

It sounds as though he is around 25yo and it is stated he is living at home. Given this, I’d say his parents ARE essentially supporting him and have been for some time! You now want them to give their 25yo son an allowance as well? This represents everything wrong with young people today really. Extremely entitled and unless parents fart rainbows full of money in their faces they believe they are hard done by and everyone else is unreasonable. Suggestions of ‘proper’ jobs/full time employment and hard graft (including two jobs if necessary) to earn money to support themselves are met with cries of horror and claims of abusive parents.

With all due respect, let’s not pretend like there are joint finances and kids involved. You both live at home with your parents.

I think your post is over estimating how serious the situation and your relationship is.

He’ll get another job

Wishing you the very best.

Erm, he has been back at home for 6 weeks for the first time since he moved out at 18. He has been paying his way there paying rent since then, buying all his own food etc so not a case of feeling entitled and expecting them fo support him at all. His parents are toxic and abusive. An example being that they restricted food when he was a teenage causing him to become underweight. So. Yeah

Right, but he still chose to go back there. The sooner he’s in a new job and can get his own place the better.

I hope he gets the new position. It might be an idea to reconsider spending lots of time with your friends at his place of work in future. I'd avoid the new bar.

Cant you both work towards having a career rather than working in hospitality which is known to be hard physical graft for little reward? Not sustainable as you get older.

Op how old are you both out of interest?

He had to go back as there were no properties to rent when his tenancy ended.

In true MN fashion it’s become people trying to poke holes or criticise details and kick people while they’re down

thank you for the replies that were supportive. I’ll be leaving the thread now.

I think you both sound quite immature tbh.

DP needs to look for a more stable job.

and perhaps you do too, so you can move out quicker. I am unsure if I missed the reasons you can’t work full time, but if you can spend a “significant” amount of time at his place of work you could probably do a few more hours.

you both sound like perhaps you were recently students? Can be an adjustment but necessary if you want to live together and be away from his toxic parents.

His job was a permanent managerial role actually. So it was stable and also salaried.

I also work in childcare but can only work part time due to health reasons and work all the hours I can physically manage.

How is this immature?

As someone who lost their job as a pub manager due to covid and went into retail, I could get another hospitality job right now, at 20 to 12 on a Monday night! The industry is screaming out for staff, mainly because they treated us all so fucking badly during the pandemic and so we moved on and wont go back. So yes, it really is that easy to simply walk into another job, especially as we all get to know each other through moving pubs/working with different people etc so there will always be someone you know as X pub or Y restaurant.

And although something may not be legal or moral, it doesnt mean it doesnt happen, because the employers concerned know that 99 times out of 100 the former employee cant afford legal action. Very very common in that industry.

Good grief, how overdramatic.

Good grief, how overly nasty!!!

Some people are so nasty!

And to the PP who said younger people expect things from their parents, that isn't true for all so why tarnish us with the same brush? Maybe you should've been a bit more selective if you wanted to throw around comments like that and not just say about younger people.

It doesn't sound completely legal what his ex boss has done. Hope he finds a job really soon and remember it's clearly only the younger generation that lose their jobs and have to move back to parents as it doesn't happen in older generations.. 🤣.

Erm, he has been back at home for 6 weeks for the first time since he moved out at 18. He has been paying his way there paying rent since then, buying all his own food etc so not a case of feeling entitled and expecting them fo support him at all. His parents are toxic and abusive. An example being that they restricted food when he was a teenage causing him to become underweight. So. Yeah

Okay, so if he has only been back with his parents for 6 weeks and paying market rent and all of his good and bi

No idea why it posted.
If he has been paying market rent, his share of bills and all of his food since moving back then he could have just as easily entered a house share and been no better/worse off than going back to live with his horrific and toxic parents. Easily solved.

Agreed... everyone knows you can't just sack someone on the spot and then say you aren't paying them holiday pay. Either the OP and her partner are very naive or there is a huge missing part of the story

Sorry I agree this thread is overly dramatic and immature sounding.
A 'handhold' is usually more suited to a parent with a dying child or parent in hospital, not a young adult with no financial responsibilities who's boyfriend who can live at his family home is going to have to find a new job.

Ya think??? How impossibly naive you are!