DP sacked - handhold please

[Springbluebell]

I need a handhold really.

DP has just been sacked. We both live with our respective parents, he moved back a few months ago after tenancy ended and I used to rent but COVID ruined my life and I still haven’t financially recovered and had to move back.

His boss is horrible, I know him personally. He has always picked on DP despite him trying his best. Owners of the company visit and often commend his work which makes his boss very irate. It isn’t even in DPs nature to argue back or fan the flames of conflict. Today stemmed from DP completing his list of tasks early, his boss complained things that weren’t on the list weren’t done. DP pointed out they were not on his tasks and his boss blew up as he usually does and sacked him.

We have been working so hard, we were finally going to be able to have enough to rent in a few months and have a home to call our own again. I suffer from mental health conditions as does he but we both make sure we get up and go to work and try to claw our way out of a bad position mentally and with our housing situations as we both have extremely toxic and abusive family. I am only able to work part time and his job was paid well enough especially for his field of work.

I’m just heartbroken, in shock and I feel sick. He will find work again but this will set us back for months. I’m so tired of setbacks in life. I feel desperately sad for my DP. I know this is going to be so difficult for him, not to mention his family will blame him and kick him while down.

Just looking for some support. I’m on my way to meet DP now

Because he works in the hospitality industry and I go with my friends. It’s how I met him. I was a regular. I put money into the business at times no one else is, it’s not the issue.

Not sure why my emojis were deleted? MN are very selective in the speed at which they respond to these things.

My emojis conveyed scepticism, is that not allowed?

As I said. He works in the hospitality industry. So I’ve met him around the place that he works, lots of other bars and such and we met up in one of them that we know the people. He asked if there were any shifts to cover going and they mentioned the bar next door we know he has been doing interviews today. We know the people so he went in and they did an informal interview. It’s not that wild in this industry despite posters thinking I’m lying

@Springbluebell

I can only sympathise. I worked in hospitality during my uni years and it was fucking dreadful. My old managers from when I was a supervisor were absolute arseholes and this guy sounds exactly the same. I remember so many people getting sacked for ridiculous reasons (ie 3 people got sacked on the spot because the spillage book didn’t match to the spillage they recorded at the end of the night), with absolutely no proof they’d been giving away free drinks. And by sacked it was a “you three fuck off and don’t come back” in front of everyone at 3am.

He’ll feel so much better for being out of that environment. Honestly when I left and started working in a “normal” work environment it took me nearly a year to adjust because I was so used to doing 10 things at once, running around everywhere and not taking breaks. I was so anxious about the work I was producing because I was so used to the negative environment where everyone was ripped into for the smallest thing.

Definitely get professional advice but also try to really highlight the positives.

Another not getting the full picture. You are in an economic pickle. You say you can only work part time. You say you spend a lot of time hanging out at your DH workplace (a bar/restaurant?) but you don’t work there. If you have so much free time that you can do this, maybe take that time and use that to increase to full time employment? That will bring in extra $ and get you out of your parents house quicker.

The hospitality industry isn’t like other industries. If you work in popular bars it’s almost guaranteed that people you know in your personal life will be in at least a few times a week. I constantly had to navigate working when various exes and such were coming in to drink because the bar I worked in was very popular and we were in a town with two different universities.

Also, due to the unsociable hours, it’s a weird mix of working with colleagues which then often turn into relationships, and of course these can break down. It isn’t odd at all for someone’s partner to be in drinking where their other partner works.

As long as OP isn’t standing by the bar every single night keeping him back from working (if that’s the job he had) there really isn’t an issue in her going there to socialise while he’s on shift. And I highly doubt she was.

hope he gets some shifts op

Obviously the solution here is to teach your dog to wash the windows. Immersion therapy for the dog and no need to deal with the window cleaner again. You're welcome.

This is spectacularly the wrong thread for that comment! How the feck did that happen?

Why can’t you work full time?

This is spectacularly the wrong thread for that comment! How the feck did that happen?

🤣🤣🤣

An employee with under 2yrs service, is not automatically entitled to go through any formal disciplinary process unless company policies/procedures allow for it!
However, employees be provided a reason for their dismissal and it is usual for at least one informal warning to be given before an potential dismissal meeting is held, but it doesn’t always happen particularly in cases of gross misconduct where by the misdemeanour is to severe to warrant it.
nevertheless during the potential dismissal meeting there should be an opportunity for the employee to mitigate their conduct or behaviour and plead their case so to speak.

The outcome of meeting should be given in writing and reasoning for dismissal given.

On another note unless the dismissal is considered summary gross misconduct, notice is either required to be worked by N employee often case in failed probation if the company don’t want or need the employee then notice is paid in lieu. However, If it’s summary gross misconduct then notice can be waived.

Prorate statutory holiday pay is a legal right, so all accrued but untaken statutory holidays must be paid, similarly if the employee has taken more than accrued then the company can usually deduct from final pay.

I’m at my dsis house and was browsing Mumsnet whilst she made us some dinner and came across this message. Dsis is a solicitor specialising in employment law and I’ve just read your message to her.
She said everything your DH has told you is incorrect and if that’s what he’s been told by his employer then he has a valid case for tribunal.

Firstly, DH needs to email his employer stating:

You terminated my contract with immediate effect despite no verbal or written prior warning and reason for termination of contract is inconsistent with any misconduct on my part. You advised I would not be entitled to any holiday pay which I believe to be incorrect, please outline reason for dismissal and why holiday pay will not be paid as I will need to get some legal advice.

See what employer says, if nothing, then consult a solicitor as some offer a free half hour/hour.

Sorry to hear this. You can't just sack someone without good reason, he should fight it, take it to an employment tribunal, make sure the owners know what's happened. Is there any HR?

What line of work was he in? Would it be easy for him to get another?

I hope that things work out and that you both get what you are entitled to. Sending held-hands.

Acas should help making sure he gets a months notice and also accrued holiday pay. It really doesn’t sound like proper procedures have been followed.
that all said he sounds well rid. And the employment market is still pretty buoyant (I’m a recruiter).

Did you read your sister the bit where the OPs says he's not worked there for 2 years?

Because you cannot claim unfair dismissal in an employment tribunal if you have less than 2 years service. You can claim for discriminatory acts but there is no sign that is the case here.

Yes, he is entitled to accrued untaken statutory annual leave as others have commented and should write to demand that is paid along with any contractual notice period.

As it's hospitality I would not be surprised there is no written contract of employment though.

@dittbtdity See above. Unfortunately an employer can indeed sack someone with less than 2 years service for any reasons (or no reason) and without any due process. There are NO statutory procedures for dismissal under 2 years which may surprise you but its true. There might be risks about claims of discrimination when sacking someone wit shorter length of service but if those are low then employers might not to be too concerned about that.

You will find this to be true. Deep breaths. You will both get through this. Better things are ahead.
and yes to the suggestions about calling ACAS. I found them to be great when I needed advice.

Haven't RTFT but call ACAS.

Thank you for all the supportive replies. I’m still with DP now in his home for the evening as his family is on holiday. I have been agreeing with the posters saying it is a blessing in disguise and relayed this to DP. Trying to cheer him up as best I can saying it was no good for him and now we have a blank slate.

It is utterly shit, but all we can do is try to make a plan for the future.

Bless him, he has asked several times if I will leave him. But of course I won’t. He is a lovely partner and treats me amazing, I would never leave him at a low point in his life. We will get through this together I am sure.

Giving you a handhold and sending you a virtual hug.
And just a reminder (as you mentioned Covid ruined your life)
You can literally bounce back from anything. And not just bouce back - things can be MUCH better than they were and better than you can ever have imagined!

Often we cannot see the good when there feels like there is so much bad stuff, but you can bounce back from anything. I mean it!
I know it's easy to say but it really is about mindset and focus and following through on actions.
And, sounds like your dp had a great escape. And if he were to write down the good vs the bad in that job, I am pretty sure he would come to that conclusion too. Make sure he empowers himself and writes down his strengths. And then make sure he takes those to his next role. If his confidence is knocked, tell him to act confident until he becomes it!
Covid hasn't ruined you. It's just given you a learning curve which can only make you stronger! 🦾

Will his contractual notice take him over 2 years? 100% call acas.

Not sure if you have read the posts as you have not replied or commented. lots of people mentioned calling acas. Yes he is due his holiday pay pro rated to his leaving date. Plus his notice period might be another week or 2 of pay.

Hope the interview leads to some work. It sounds like a bad environment in the job he’s left so probably for the best.

While things seem rough they’ll hopefully get better soon. You say your families are both toxic but you are fortunate you’ve both been able to move back when you wanted to.

Hopefully he’s working ft very soon and you can get your own place.