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Original poster

Have you found you love your husband more and more as time goes on ?

41 replies

Redrobinbobbin · 11/03/2023 09:11

Esp if you’ve been together many many years like over 20/25 years plus
it’s weird how relationships can go through hard times, Great times, ill health etc
so it’s not always been easy
but I feel more attached to him than I did before

OP posts:
bert3400 · 11/03/2023 09:15

Been together 25 years and yes I love him soooo much. We argue less now the kids are older and we aren't tired/stressed so much. We are best friends and we love hanging out together. He's the only person who doesn't get in my nerves after spending a large amount of time together. Can't wait to retire and bugger off into the sunset 😁

overjean · 11/03/2023 09:18

Complete opposite here. Baffled how i ended up with someone i don't even really like.

vagueandconfused · 11/03/2023 09:20

Yes, 17 years here. I knew him through work and liked him. He was unassuming and well liked by colleagues. We went out and I fell in love him straight away.

I love him more and in a different way now. There is no one I would rather be with. Wherever we are, we have a nice time together. I'm aware I'm not the most well liked of people but he is without doubt my biggest supporter. I'm very grateful to him for that.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 11/03/2023 09:21

Having had another almighty row last night, right at this moment I’d say no. I’m actually wondering how much longer I want to put up with it.

moonpixel · 11/03/2023 09:33

Yes, definitely. The man is an absolute gem and when I read some of the utter pricks women choose to live with on here it makes me truly grateful.

I am fully aware it was luck and not judgement that got us here though. We are both very different people to the ones we were when we first met. I think if you can team up and grow together you stand a better chance.

He has been by my side for over 20 years and I definitely feel more attached than ever before.

Marchforward · 11/03/2023 09:35

No. We have been together for nearly 20 years but we currently have very young children which I think is generally very trying. I think when I’m not sleep deprived I may feel that way again.

AdditionalCharacter · 11/03/2023 09:36

Married over 20 years now, definitely love him more, possibly in a different way than when we first got together. He's also like my best friend, we have been through so much together and understand each other so much more now. We still hold hands when we are out, like two teenagers.

TheClash2023 · 11/03/2023 09:36

My best friend. Couldn't imagine life without him

Steakandquinoa · 11/03/2023 09:44

Yep, together over 25 years, love being with him as we understand/accept each other 100%. Still melts me when he gives me that special look. Used to argue when the children were small of course, and he’s not perfect as no one is- but I think you need to decide if the argument is really worth it.
Could I have left him because he’s so messy and my house isn’t as I dreamed as a child? Yes, but he tries so hard and the unconditional love that surrounds me is worth so much more than little irritations.

Twopoodlesarebetterthanone · 11/03/2023 09:47

@Campervangirl that's great to hear some
direct family experience of York College 🙂🙂 The beaches on the East coast look lovely for dog walking and coastal walks too, I need to go and have a look myself.

Tinypetunia · 11/03/2023 09:48

I love my DH dearly, we have been married for nearly 50 years now. He is supportive of everything I do, does housework, lots of cooking, very rarely gets upset. Yes it's mostly luck, and I feel sorry for all the women on here who have such dreadful partners.

cheapskatemum · 11/03/2023 09:49

Yes, we've just worked out that we've been together 38 years as of 1st March. The child-rearing years were really, really tough. I think that, if you can get through that & still like each other, there's hope for your dotage!

Monkeybutt1 · 11/03/2023 09:52

Yes, we have been together 16 years and almost split up in 2020 just before covid hit, completely my fault, I betrayed his trust. We are stronger than ever now and are truly best friends. We both WFH and sit next to each other in our home office. I could not imagine life without him. We rarely argue.

Moonicorn · 11/03/2023 09:52

Yes. I’m very lucky, and can’t put it down to anything in particular. I think it’s because he is so solid and dependable - not in a boring way but he’s never lost my respect, he’s such an honourable person and I appreciate this more and more as time goes on. He’s never raised his voice to me, or sworn at me for example. He’s also very well groomed/dressed and doesn’t do anything to give me the ick 😂

A34 · 11/03/2023 09:54

38 years here and he's my best friend and soul mate. The love has changed over the years. It's deepened, I think - slightly less physical, much more spiritual.

cheapskatemum · 11/03/2023 09:54

A34 · 11/03/2023 09:54

38 years here and he's my best friend and soul mate. The love has changed over the years. It's deepened, I think - slightly less physical, much more spiritual.

Snap!

AldiorLidl · 11/03/2023 09:56

Yes but we're mid forties, kids are adults and we can be just us again and have fun!

GreenIsle · 11/03/2023 10:00

I've been with dp 17 years and love him more as time goes on. A combination of him mellowing out, being very hands on in family life, putting himself last and doing everything he can to help me as we have such young children. Goes out of his way to make sure I'm ok. Family focused and just generally amazing.

BigFatLiar · 11/03/2023 10:03

Both retired now so around each other a lot. No one I'd rather be with. We're not joined at the hip, do things separately but when out we're the couple walking around holdi g hands and talking to each other all the time.

pompomdaisy · 11/03/2023 10:04

Yes definitely. The day I married him I thought I had made a mistake. Now 23 years later I would not be with anyone else.

namejump · 11/03/2023 10:05

Yes. We were teens when we got together, there have been a ups and downs as we navigate adulthood and parenthood, but now in our mid 30s we are closer than ever, I think it's a bit of luck really (as you never know who you're going to be when you grow up and we were quite different from each other when we were younger!) but we have very much developed the same values, wishes for life etc, and the more I see other marriages/relationships around me and the awful threads on here the more I realise what a good man my DH is and what a great life we've built together. Very much a relationship based on friendship and respect, a team. With some squabbles in between Wink

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 11/03/2023 10:06

It's funny, my answer is yes and no. We get on worse than when we first met (but better than at other times). Kids play a huge factor in this, the changes it has wrought on our lives and us have highlighted some really deep incompatibilities which if we hadn't had kids probably would not have come to light. So I don't think of him affectionately a lot of the time, sad to say.

But... I love him more, in a strange way. He feels like family - those people who drive you crazy but the idea of just dropping them and never speaking to them again seems ridiculous. We've been through some of the worst things in life side by side; I know him better than anyone else does. I worry about him, care about him hugely, spend a lot of time trying to understand him. He feels like "mine" in a more irretrievable way than a mere "boyfriend". I suppose again that's due to the kids.

I really hope that as the kids get older and life (theoretically) becomes less stressful we can get on more together on the day to day. But I think I will always love him now, in the same way I love my parents, siblings and kids - because of what they are as much as who they are in a way.

sexnotgenders · 11/03/2023 10:10

Marchforward · 11/03/2023 09:35

No. We have been together for nearly 20 years but we currently have very young children which I think is generally very trying. I think when I’m not sleep deprived I may feel that way again.

Completely relate to this. Also been with my DH for 20 years and we have a just turned 2 year old and I'm pregnant with the next. At the moment I spend a lot of my time shouting at him, but I know that's just the tiredness and stress of kids/being pregnant. I know deep in my heart he's the most amazing man and I will never stop loving him, even if I'd like to punch him in the face quite a lot right now 😂

KohlaParasaurus · 11/03/2023 10:11

Yes. After 20 years we're over the baggage of our conflict-ridden first marriages and I've reconciled what I think I want with who he is. And I've never had a hint of a doubt of his commitment, even when I've been wobbling myself.

Flamintula · 11/03/2023 10:13

No. He's in his 50s and I am not. His libido has decreased and he's often a miserable fucker. He does not understand teenagers and sees things in black and white, which leads to conflict.

I have often suspected he loves me more than he loves the children, but I would rather he fancied me. Although to be honest, I'm not entirely sure I believe in love anyway. But that's another thread.