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Original poster

So what the hell do I do now? ASC can’t take DC anymore

135 replies

ASCNoUse · 10/03/2023 20:52

DC is 8, Y4. Has SN (Not ASD).

They go to Breakfast Club 5 mornings a week, and then 2 nights after school they go to After School Club.

In the mornings it’s quieter so DC sits in the hall eats their breakfast, DC then just sits there happily.

After School is a lot more chaotic, there’s more DC there (55 some nights as opposed to only 15 in the mornings) so DC finds it too much. They’ve taken to sitting in the library. ASC tried to get DC to choose a book from the library but sit in a quiet corner or at a table in the hall/classroom (some days they use both) but DC didn’t like it. When asked they said they need quiet and often have brain fog after school and need time to just think (they have dyslexia and dyspraxia)
.
ASC have now given me notice to say they can’t safely supervise DC. They gave me notice in January to end at Half Term. They are still taking DC in the mornings. They have tried since January to find a solution to hopefully revoke notice but DC still continues to spend sometimes the whole session in the library.

I’m a single parent, I work from home some days but when DC has been home they just want to talk to me as it’s just me and them at home (no other DC, no pets). No childminders with space near to school – I’ve asked around, we’re quite rural so there’s only a handful to start with. No nurseries or outside providers that pick up from DCs school. ExH won’t have DC in the week (he’s been offered by me, a mediator and the courts and he always says no). No family help.

So what the hell do I do now? Give up my job??

OP posts:

RSintes · 10/03/2023 21:21

Would echo what a PP has said that it's an issue they need to resolve otherwise they risk breaching equalities act by excluding them even if they need another pair of hands to do so. It's a service that the school provides so it's their responsibility to solve it.

Have you tried emailing the Head and/or the Governors and asking them to step in to help them find a solution?

Does your child have an EHCP?

Please whatever you do don't give up work. It's up to the school to sort this.

I'm a teacher and have been a single mum to DC with additional needs. I'd be horrified and embarrassed if my school weren't able to get themselves into gear to deal with this, particularly as it not an issue of violence, just distress.

BasilParsley · 10/03/2023 21:21

Have they tried bringing a selection of appropriate books from the library to the preferred location so the DC has something to focus on?

BeesOnLavender · 10/03/2023 21:28

So what's the score with the library after school? Is it supposed to be shut/locked? Why can't DC not be in the ASC system but finish school and go sit in the library by themselves?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families SEN

Luana1 · 10/03/2023 21:30

RSintes · 10/03/2023 21:21

Have you tried emailing the Head and/or the Governors and asking them to step in to help them find a solution?

Does your child have an EHCP?

Please whatever you do don't give up work. It's up to the school to sort this.

How can they resolve it if the child refuses to go to the ASC setting though, even employing an extra person won't solve that issue. OP, I really feel for you and it sounds like the ASC are trying to support you. I hope you find a solution.

Hohofortherobbers · 10/03/2023 21:31

Have you explained to your dc they will no longer be able to attend asc if they don't remain on the hall? Is your dc able to compromise and agree to read in a quiet corner of the hall.

Lefteyetwitch · 10/03/2023 21:34

Have you explained to your child that this is a non negotiable order?

They are going to go to ASC and they are going to do exactly as they are told. If they need to take a book or use ear defenders then that's fine you will work with him. But this is happening end of

HamBone · 10/03/2023 21:35

Regardless of the legalities, it sounds as if your DC would be far happier coming home with a babysitter so they can relax in their own space. I’d definitely explore that option.

BertaHoon · 10/03/2023 21:36

Is there a local college? Maybe a 16-17 year old doing their childcare qualifications may be looking for a few hours a week?

Good luck. It's so difficult.

GreatContinental · 10/03/2023 21:36

It is disability discrimination and against the equality act and they have to take him

Have you discussed it with the headteacher? (you said it was school run)
They may be able to access funding to employ additional staff- does he have an EHCP?

Eas1lyd1stracted · 10/03/2023 21:38

@CatsGinAndTwiglets was going to say exactly the same thing. Would he manage in ASC with a 121? But the college student is quite a nice idea as your DC gets older

cansu · 10/03/2023 21:39

It seems you have these choices

Tell your dc they are not allowed to sit in the library but can have headphones in asc.
Find and pay for a childminder or nanny.

Whilst I can understand that your dc prefers a quiet environment, it simply isn't available. It is just for two nights so I would probably be telling my dc that he or she needs to get on with it as I need to work to pay the bills.

BearLeft · 10/03/2023 21:41

ASCNoUse · 10/03/2023 21:12

@BearLeft Been told that they can't safely supervise DC because DC wants to be in the library and not the hall/classroom. Not bad behaviour but I can see why they're saying no.

No childminders with space that pick up from DCs school, we're rural so theres only a handful anyway.

Show quote history

So it is behaviour then. Tbh, I would consider reducing my hours in these circumstances. If the childcare facility really can’t monitor where children are you should complain.

maltesersarethedevil · 10/03/2023 21:41

Lefteyetwitch · 10/03/2023 21:34

Have you explained to your child that this is a non negotiable order?

They are going to go to ASC and they are going to do exactly as they are told. If they need to take a book or use ear defenders then that's fine you will work with him. But this is happening end of

😂😂😂😂

Good luck with that and a SN child

cansu · 10/03/2023 21:42

I would imagine the school will say they have no obligation to provide an after school club for the OPs child. They will not have the staff to pay for a 1:1 and cannot leave the child alone in the library. They could of course increase the fees of all the children in order to pay for more staff. That is assuming they can find someone who wants to work for minimum wage for a few hours a day at a time when they might also have their own kids to care for! These jobs are not attractive to many people.

GreatContinental · 10/03/2023 21:43

cansu · 10/03/2023 21:42

You imagine wrongly

cansu · 10/03/2023 21:44

The OP says her child has dyslexia and dyspraxia. These needs do not mean the child cannot be told that what they want can't happen.

handmademitlove · 10/03/2023 21:46

Have you tried a pop up tent with ear defenders or similar? My child sometimes cannot cope with the hustle and bustle of school, but school have blackout tents they use to provide a low stimulation environment. I would explore this as an option first with them if possible. It may be that school will find it helpful during the school day with other children, not just yours!

cansu · 10/03/2023 21:47

Greatcontinental
Many schools do not have after school care. They have given the OP notice so obviously they can say this. The after school care should make reasonable adjustments but this doesn't mean they have to provide 1:1 so he can sit in the library! They can give him a corner to himself or headphones or whatever.

DrHousecuredme · 10/03/2023 21:47

So it is behaviour then. Tbh, I would consider reducing my hours in these circumstances. If the childcare facility really can’t monitor where children are you should complain.

They can monitor where she is though, she's in the library. The issue is that she's not allowed to be there and is digging her heels in about that.

Op I do understand that she has some SEN but have you actually been firm with her and said that she must start going and sitting where she's supposed to or there will be some sort of a consequence at home?
(Coupled obviously with other things to try like the headphones, a big blanket, making a work station type thing in there)
Because as much as I sympathise with the situation, it reads as if you think her behaviour's fine and she isn't doing anything wrong.
But actually I can see why this would be a real headache for the staff.

CoedenNadoligLanOHyd · 10/03/2023 21:48

www.tts-group.co.uk/sensory-dark-den-accessories/1002250.html

What about a sensory/dark den where they can have a quiet space, ear defenders and be facing the wall.

So the visual distractions, noise are limited.

The staff will have to make sure it is out of the way. A torch, so they can look at books. A weighted blanket, and a cushion.

Lefteyetwitch · 10/03/2023 21:49

maltesersarethedevil · 10/03/2023 21:41

😂😂😂😂

Good luck with that and a SN child

Show quote history

You do know there are rules in SN schools right?
With rules and places to be.
Assemblies and Outdoor learning....

If this child is still in mainstream then there is even less of an excuse.

DrHousecuredme · 10/03/2023 21:49

cansu · 10/03/2023 21:44

The OP says her child has dyslexia and dyspraxia. These needs do not mean the child cannot be told that what they want can't happen.

This, I fully understand that all children are different but my ds has the same types of difficulties and nobody would expect them to excuse that level of behaviour.

cansu · 10/03/2023 21:50

Special education provision is delivered in the normal school day and ordinarily after school activities are excluded.
If a case can be made that an after school club has an educational element and this is included in the child’s EHC plan at Section F (i.e. it’s demonstrated that it is special educational provision to meet a specific special educational needs in Section B of the Plan), then the LA would be obliged to secure the special educational provision specified.
The norm, however, is that after-school activities are not special educational provision – because it does require evidence to support special educational provision being delivered in this way, outside of the school day, to meet a child’s SEN.
If the child is disabled, then there would be a duty on the provider/school to make reasonable adjustments in accordance with the Equalities Act 2010 (although cost considerations make certain adjustments unreasonable).
It might also be possible to secure support outside of the SEN Law framework via social care support.

HamBone · 10/03/2023 21:50

Explore the options and do what feels best for your child, OP. Of course you can take it up with the school and discuss additional staffing.

Would the school be eligible for funding to cover the cost- does anyone know?

BluesandClues · 10/03/2023 21:52

Have you thought of getting a sensory tent for child, he can’t wear noise cancelling headphones in it whilst at the ASC?

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