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Original poster

Tattoos of children’s names

99 replies

Courtniekeeper · 10/03/2023 17:23

I know it can be seen as tacky, but for years I’ve wanted to get my 2 children's names tattooed on my wrist. It’s taken a long time to get the courage as I have a huge fear of needles, but the appointment is booked and I’m going for it.
Issue is, my husband has a daughter from his previous relationship and thinks she will be left out if I don’t tattoo her name on me. I’ve been around for most of her life and treat her like one of my own, but I feel it’s going too far to include her name on my wrist. Of course I don’t want her to feel left out but she isn’t technically my child.
Am I being cruel for saying no? I mean where does it stop, I’m extremely close with my nephews but I wouldn’t add them. I just want my two biological children and think I’m being reasonable for that?

OP posts:
Igenix4 · 10/03/2023 17:34

Firstly it's your body to decide what you have tattooed on it, tell your husband no, simple as that.
Secondly, considered if they change their name in the future, would that make a difference to you or them?
Thirdly, I got my first tattoo last year, you don't see the needle at all it's so tiny, it's like a strong tickly but also itchy sensation, try not be be worried or anxious

Original poster
Courtniekeeper · 10/03/2023 17:42

Thanks for the reassurance!
If they changed their names I would still keep the tattoos as I plan to have them, it wouldn’t make a difference to me as it still signifies the special meaning.

OP posts:
PlateBilledDuckyPerson · 10/03/2023 17:49

I never really see the point of these. It's the default assumption that most people love their children, so why is a tattoo needed as evidence of this? If it's going to cause upset in the family, it really isn't worth it.

Interested in this thread?

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Beauty
PinkMendinilla · 10/03/2023 17:50

How old is DSD, does she live with you, is her own mum around?

Yes, you have the right to have whatever tattoo you choose. I'm sure DSD would understand if she was an adult but a child may not and is it worth it if you think it would cause upset? Sorry that's not straight up affirmation, it's just that blended families are complicated at times and if you've struck a good balance then maybe choosing another tattoo or waiting would be better for now.

Re needles, they're a lot shallower than those used in vaccinations or for, say, taking bloods, so while I won't pretend it's painless, you should be fine. I work in healthcare and oddly, we get a lot of needle phobes who are absolutely covered in tattoos! They all say it's a completely different experience/ association.

Verylongtime · 10/03/2023 17:53

Well, it’s your body and all that, but I think it’s not great to tattoo two kids’ names and not your stepdaughter. How old is she? That makes a difference. Or could you do the tattoo somewhere not so obvious?

Yayyayitsaholiholiday · 10/03/2023 17:53

If you’re likely to forget your children’s names, or want to show they are biologically yours, but your step daughter isn’t, then get the tattoo.

it will be a visual reminder to serve both purposes each day.

Verylongtime · 10/03/2023 17:56

Yayyayitsaholiholiday · 10/03/2023 17:53

If you’re likely to forget your children’s names, or want to show they are biologically yours, but your step daughter isn’t, then get the tattoo.

it will be a visual reminder to serve both purposes each day.

Yeah, I agree with this.

Original poster
Courtniekeeper · 10/03/2023 17:56

She’s 11, my children are 5. It’s more of a ‘family tradition’ as everyone has their children’s names tattooed, even the relative with 8 children! So I’ve grown up seeing it as a nice thing to do.

OP posts:
MrsDoylesDoily · 10/03/2023 17:56

I’ve been around for most of her life and treat her like one of my own

If you treated her like one of your own, you wouldn't have started this thread.

But as always, it's your body and your choice.

ourflagmeansdeath · 10/03/2023 17:57

What's her age?? And is her mother in the picture - if she is then I don't think it matters AS much. If she isn't, it is honestly a little cruel. I don't think you'd need to have her on you, it is your body, but it's either all 3 or none of them. I'm sure if she's older she'd understand, but a 10 year old or something may not.

Honestly it just seems unnecessary. You're making it seem as if you love your bio kids more and that's obviously fine if you do, but the DSD doesn't need that rubbed in her face

ourflagmeansdeath · 10/03/2023 17:57

Sorry just seen she's 11

Verylongtime · 10/03/2023 17:58

Do the dads have the names tattooed as well? Does the girl’s mum have her name tattooed?

Aurorabored · 10/03/2023 17:58

It’s your body, your choice.

Aurorabored · 10/03/2023 17:58

I think with eight children I’d just go for the initials!

Stressyfab · 10/03/2023 17:59

Hi- I work as a tattooist, I run my own studio.
I just want to let you know if you’d have told me this (your husband insisting on HIS daughters name on your body) I would be refusing to add it.
If he feels so strongly about it he can book an appointment for himself and I’d tattoo it on him 🤷‍♀️

as a side note, when I was an apprentice I had to print non stop stencils of names to add to a huge back piece. It was a tree with a ton of names already. The bloke had booked in for 8 names I believe and then wanted an additional 30 or so on the same day without warning- this just reminded me! I don’t think I even have that many relatives!

Sirzy · 10/03/2023 17:59

You obviously don’t see her as one of your own or it wouldn’t even be a question.

it’s your body so your choice but I do think excluding her is a clear sign of her position

MrsDoylesDoily · 10/03/2023 17:59

Verylongtime · 10/03/2023 17:58

Do the dads have the names tattooed as well? Does the girl’s mum have her name tattooed?

What does this have to do with the OP saying she treats her step-daughter like one of her own, but not wanting to tattoo her name on her arm along with her own?

RedDirtWildChild · 10/03/2023 17:59

Courtniekeeper · 10/03/2023 17:56

She’s 11, my children are 5. It’s more of a ‘family tradition’ as everyone has their children’s names tattooed, even the relative with 8 children! So I’ve grown up seeing it as a nice thing to do.

A family tradition? Really? 😅

Original poster
Courtniekeeper · 10/03/2023 17:59

She lives with her mum yes, we have her every second weekend. I’m not a mum figure to her, more of an auntie. So as I said before it would be like having all of my nephews names alongside my children’s. IF DH and I were to split it would be odd to have his daughters name tattooed on me, and equally if he remarried Id find it odd if she had my children’s names tattooed on her.
Thanks for all your views I will have a think tonight.

OP posts:
KnownByAssociation · 10/03/2023 18:01

People who think you should get her name tattooed on you are bloody bizarre. She's not your child. Imagine your child's steparent having their name tattooed on them? Can't see many people being happy with that! Get the tattoo but maybe don't flaunt it in front of your stepdaughter/draw attention to it.

Original poster
Courtniekeeper · 10/03/2023 18:02

Stressyfab - thanks that’s interesting to know.
I believe her mum has tattoos but DH hasn’t got any or any interest in them.

OP posts:
MrsDoylesDoily · 10/03/2023 18:02

Courtniekeeper · 10/03/2023 17:59

She lives with her mum yes, we have her every second weekend. I’m not a mum figure to her, more of an auntie. So as I said before it would be like having all of my nephews names alongside my children’s. IF DH and I were to split it would be odd to have his daughters name tattooed on me, and equally if he remarried Id find it odd if she had my children’s names tattooed on her.
Thanks for all your views I will have a think tonight.

That's fine but at least own it and stop claiming you treat her like one of your own.

It's a silly thing to claim.

SirChenjins · 10/03/2023 18:03

Yayyayitsaholiholiday · 10/03/2023 17:53

If you’re likely to forget your children’s names, or want to show they are biologically yours, but your step daughter isn’t, then get the tattoo.

it will be a visual reminder to serve both purposes each day.

Agree with this

ourflagmeansdeath · 10/03/2023 18:03

Courtniekeeper · 10/03/2023 17:59

She lives with her mum yes, we have her every second weekend. I’m not a mum figure to her, more of an auntie. So as I said before it would be like having all of my nephews names alongside my children’s. IF DH and I were to split it would be odd to have his daughters name tattooed on me, and equally if he remarried Id find it odd if she had my children’s names tattooed on her.
Thanks for all your views I will have a think tonight.

I don't think you should get her tattooed onto your arm based off of this. But still have my doubts of having the bio kids because it may hurt her feelings nevertheless even if you consider her as a niece rather than a daughter. It'll still be secluding her, so I feel like not doing it at all is the best choice tbh but it is your decision of course

incitethismeetingtorebellion · 10/03/2023 18:03

No one can dictate what you have put on your body. If it means that much to him then he can have all 3 kids names tattooed on him. Has your husband spoken to his ex about this? Because if my partner and I split up and his new partner/wife had my kids name tattooed on them I would be less than impressed to put it mildly.

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