What do private schools do that state schools don't?

[Mommymoments]

For me the local private does
Weekly swimming
Learning an orchestra instrument (extra cost)
Debating
Language (Spanish, French, German & afterschool Latin, Mandarin & Russian)
Yoga
Hockey & Lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities
Excellent field trips out of school
Ski trip from Y7 onwards..

Would love all that for my dc's but can't afford it. But would love to hear about all the nice extras your dc's get at their private.

OK that's very strange.

^*It's in the way they're so surprised that other children don't know how to do x or y. Or their genuine confusion that other schools don't offer the same things as theirs. Or their frustration when another child struggles with a game or the rules of something new.

And often the parents, who genuinely mean well etc, are equally clueless.*^

Yes I can agree with some of this.

I think a lot of it is they often only see diversity in school and often there isn't much in terms of staff and children so generally learn through social media which is just mimicked as a trend. as soon as they go home their lives and extra curricular are centred around activities and clubs that the wc can't afford to access.

There are very few prep schools that offer 100% bursaries for families on low incomes, and even those that do tend to offer very few, so the vast majority are extremely limited in terms of socioeconomic diversity.

The comment about people not having the money but choosing to prioritise school fees anyway merely betrays the fact that you live in a relatively wealthy bubble without any idea how many people really live. For a lot of families, struggling to get by isn't just a case of cutting back on ski holidays or getting rid of the fancy car so that they can afford the private school fees. They simply do not have a choice.

I can only conclude that your own kids are growing up with the same ignorant presumptions. And yes, private schools may well be very diverse ethnically (as indeed are many state schools), but that is not the point that is being made.

Genuine question:

Why is it SO important to you that a child has first hand exposure to the grittier aspects of life? Honestly, it sounds a bit patronising, like you’re some kind of poverty tourist.

I say gritty as opposed to different, as private schools actually generally
contain a huge range of children - both in ability and culture. In my children’s private school there is massive range of abilities and about 8 different nationalities in one small class.
FWIW I went to a very rough school and that aspect of it didn’t benefit me in the slightest! You don’t need first hand experience of having your head flushed down the loo or being called a swot to know that life isn’t plain sailing for everyone!

My children read the news, I talk to them, they know that life is pretty damn hard for many. And as they grow, and meet more people and get a job and become part of society they’ll continue to gain awareness. But there’s no way I’d stick them in a worse school with less opportunity so they could look around think “yeah, life is full of very different people.”

Depends on the private school.

Some are very good. And very expensive. They will have a wide range of activities. A high level of pastoral care. And teachers who are very good. A higher standard of expectation in achievement and standards.

Less good ones. That will simply pretend they offer the above. But rely on parents who feel good that their offspring are going to a private school and assume it will be better. But isn't.

I had a colleague who announced she was "pee shy" to the whole office last year.

It was her first job 😂 I didn't know what to do or say. Just sat there thinking "shame you aren't shy shy. Geeeez. TMI"

Lots of orchestras to join ( wind, strings, band, full orchestra, quartets, )
Extra curricular activities eg photography, dog training, art, theatre, choirs ( various types ), extra languages, debating, speech therapy, louds more.
CCF
Louds of sports eg ( some may do these ) fencing, rowing, cross country, rugby, football, netball, swimming, cricket, tennis, badminton, ping pong, squash etc
Lovely food.
Smaller classes
Teachers know everyone and will ask you how you are.

Specialist equipment for things like science, art, drama ( own theatres fixed seating lighting etc)
Lots of competitions
A level and gcse subjects not necessarily the norm for state schools
Gcse and A level choices guaranteed even if you’re the only one in the class
Can expel students easier
A level and GCSEs are International exams not English ones. So more widely understood
Students make friends with people from lots of different countries.
If school is a house system you share a house with students from all years, when younger you are supported daily by older students. When older you’re giving that support. Increases confidence etc

Bullshit. All our local private schools have SEN pupils, and more nationalities than our local state school.
By all means criticise private schools for being elitist but your white supremacist crap is all you. And it says a lot about your attitudes that you somehow think a diverse community isn't desirable in schools or in life.

Private school: Smaller classes and responsive teachers (but not necessarily better teachers).
more flexibility for a level combinations and more choices at a level.

main disadvantage is it's a bit Samey - my kids are at a selective - but not very selective - private school - the very, very smart kids and the struggling kids go elsewhere - at a state school there would have been a bit of everyone

I find my kids' state school friends generally more sparky.

i went to a highly selective private school back in the day and that gave me the advantage of oxbridge. These days however getting better grades at a private school doesn't do you that much good if your state school contemporaries are getting adjusted lower offers (which happens in my area - many of the middle class kids swapped from private to state at a level for this reason) .

The comment about people not having the money but choosing to prioritise school fees anyway merely betrays the fact that you live in a relatively wealthy bubble without any idea how many people really live. For a lot of families, struggling to get by isn't just a case of cutting back on ski holidays or getting rid of the fancy car so that they can afford the private school fees. They simply do not have a choice.

Agree 100% with this statement. We are in the lucky position that we could probably "cut back" and just about scrape together enough for private school fees if we chose to do that. But it would be really hard and, importantly, all this cutting back would start with luxuries we enjoy - multiple extra curricular activities for the children, entertainment subscriptions and events, travel, nights and days out, more extravagant groceries than the basics. And we'd probably still need to cut back to one car (or get a very very cheap banger as an our second car), make huge efforts to manage bills etc etc.

For many many families, these luxuries don't even exist. they can't just "cut back" to scrimp together the money they need.

Where I went (went to state then private) the private actually had less resources and activities then the state :x my grades went down in private compared to the state. I actually received more tailored support before I got moved 😬

my kids both went to both state and private for primary and the pastoral care was way better at the private school. And the teaching. The teaching at our local state school was abysmal (which is why I changed to private). Also the state school suffered when teachers churned - at the private there was a concerted effort to give consistent cover.

My DC go to private school DH is North African. Where we live in London a significant % of the population are from ethnic minorities. Comfortably off people from ethnic minorities also send their children to private schools. It's a huge stereotype to assume that the only people who are wealthy enough to send their children private are white so I hope that was not what you were doing in your post.
p.s. both my DC have dyslexia too

DS had absolutely all that, bar Mandarin and Russian at his state school.

My 15 year old is in a small private school. I wouldn't send him to the local State school as he would have been bullied, and their exam results are awful. In his school he gets the following that kids in his local State school do not:

Extra field trips to theatre and sports events.
One to one sports coaching.
Class-size of 10 children.
Cooking classes and after school club of various arts, crafts and sports.
Contact time with his personal tutor every week on a one to one basis.
GCSE curriculum delivered from 13, so subjects are fully completed by 15. Then the last year is spent on exam technique coaching.
Less stressed out teachers as class sizes are low, and any bad behaviour is dealt with immediately. Headteacher has 3 strikes and you are out the door. Firm but fair approach. He doesn't mess about as he is running a business based on providing a calm, nurturing environment for children to learn.

I won't be hesitating to send my daughter to the same school when they have space available. It has been worth every penny, and has made my son a much nicer, well-rounded person who has a good friendship ground, and he is thriving academically.

Why is it SO important to you that a child has first hand exposure to the grittier aspects of life? Honestly, it sounds a bit patronising, like you’re some kind of poverty tourist.

I say gritty as opposed to different, as private schools actually generally
contain a huge range of children - both in ability and culture. In my children’s private school there is massive range of abilities and about 8 different nationalities in one small class.

You say this about your private school experience, great. But that' just not what I see in the private schools around me. Diversity of culture, yes. But otherwise, not so much. Even when children have additional needs, well looked after by their private school, it's not the extreme ends of behaviour we see in state schools. I know a family whose ASD daughter was tossed out of a private school, even though that school claims to have a "supportive" culture that can accommodate SEN children.

But why is it important to me? Because lots of private schools are churning out young people who will go onto be leaders in their chosen fields and I'm tired of this country's leadership (in politics, but in lots of other areas too) being completely clueless about the challenges the rest of the population face. I'm tired of politicians who don't understand why single mums need more help and can't just "get a job in McDonalds". I'm tired of city firm leaders who think it's okay that they only want to recruit from a tiny number of universities. I'm tired of seeing people who have lots of skills and smarts being overlooked for promotion because they don't necessarily look and sound the same as the people in charge.

the repeated ascertain on here that private schools are very diverse is weird. they just aren't. maybe they appear that way if you live in a very white area/bubble compared to the rest of YOUR life. they aren't diverse for the kids that aren't white/middle or upper class

@Advicerequest there are no 'adjusted' offers, if you mean contextual offers, for Oxbridge. Just standard offers. Now it may be that a college looks at two candidates with the same grades - one went to an expensive indie and the other a crap comp - and decides one os more deserving given their educational or family circumstances. But that's reasonable enough, and never translates to lower A level offers

I agree
My boys have very few British white friends
In fact they are from
Poland, Russia, China, HongKong, Kazakhstan, UAE, Africa and India. My boys are the only ones born in the UK.

Well, up to them if that’s their choice I guess. Different to being desperate and having the door blocked by a load of year 11s though!

Ours is. It has a boarding option. Lots of African, Asian, European kids. American in dds year. But as I said before, they are not economically diverse- they are all rich, usually far richer than the UK kids.

"Even when children have additional needs, well looked after by their private school, it's not the extreme ends of behaviour we see in state schools" OK, I'll say it - I don't particularly feel my dd is missing out by not having to witness extremes of behaviour. I'm not sure why being in a class with someone showing extremely challenging behaviour is desirable. It's not a zoo 🙄

Over confidence. Twenty years ago this was probably seen as quite positive, but now it comes across more as over-privileged.

No strikes. Disruptive influences hugely limited/removed.

Well, I don't think that state schools necessarily are worse schools as I don't particularly value the smaller class sizes, swishier facilities etc. I think the teaching is generally at least as good in state schools, and I think there is a lot of value doing extracurricular stuff outside of school where they can meet different groups of people. So for me, it isn't a question of sucking up a "worse" school in order to expose my dc to socioeconomic diversity.

That exposure is, however, a benefit of going to a state comprehensive as far as I'm concerned. I know that this won't matter to a lot of people, especially those with different political views to my own, but it's actually very important to me that my dd grows up to be a good, responsible citizen. And in order be a good citizen, I think it is necessary to really understand the society that she lives in. You don't really get that from watching the news or brief interactions in passing. You do learn quite a lot from getting to know and understand people from a wide variety of different backgrounds by going through several years of schooling alongside them. The insights that I gained from my own state comp have certainly shaped me, my values and indeed my career. And I want the same for my dd. I want her to be aware of her own privilege. I want her to be aware of the society around her. She absolutely would not have got that from any of the local private schools.

The key advantages for my DC have been the smaller class sizes and the great scope for teachers to differentiate work. Both of mine are dyslexic and had additional classes with the Learning Support team at no extra cost.

Specialist subject teachers from KS2 onwards helped. In secondary there was a good framework to support studying including weekly subject clinics and library / study areas open in the evening for homework.

Disruptive pupils could be dealt with even to the point of being asked to leave in one case.
The extracurriculars are strong with plenty of sport, music, drama and other clubs. Both of mine were in school teams and the CCF. The school gym is open in the morning before school for training and at lunchtimes. Lots of sport including after school training and weekend matches.
The other factor was the facilities and staff engagement - a lot of that comes down to money. If a school can run fundraising activities that bring in six figure sums each year then you can fund a lot of the nice to have's.