What do private schools do that state schools don't?

[Mommymoments]

For me the local private does
Weekly swimming
Learning an orchestra instrument (extra cost)
Debating
Language (Spanish, French, German & afterschool Latin, Mandarin & Russian)
Yoga
Hockey & Lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities
Excellent field trips out of school
Ski trip from Y7 onwards..

Would love all that for my dc's but can't afford it. But would love to hear about all the nice extras your dc's get at their private.

I am more surprised that there are private school kids who apparently never interact with anyone outside of the private school bubble. That sounds quite unhealthy to me.

Yes, I absolutely agree. But that's the reality for my niece and nephew and (apparently) most of the students at their private school. (they do also interact with my own children, but only twice a year, which I'm not counting).

My DB and SIL see it as an advantage that they can do all activities under one roof with the same group of children. It's clearly much more convenient but I would think there were more advantages to be had by doing the same activities outside of school with different groups of children.

Which should perhaps be chalked down as something private schools do that is not necessarily desirable.

To be fair, dd did a lot of drama outside school and met lots of kids from the local private schools doing the same shows, so some kids obviously do branch out. Probably depends on the school and on the individual kids.

I am more surprised that there are private school kids who apparently never interact with anyone outside of the private school bubble. That sounds quite unhealthy to me.

There have been several posts on this thread and other ones on private education saying all the privately educated children they’ve ever come across have been entitled, arrogant and stuck up. Presumably the posters share these views with their children who take them on board.
Therefore is it surprising that privately educated children don’t want to be called snooty posh gits and judged for where they go to school and so prefer to stay in their ‘private school bubble’?

Charge you, my DS1 who went to a private school dropped out of uni and is currently unemployed, my other DS who went to a state school is currently doing his masters.

Tbh, I wouldn't dream of telling my dc that privately educated kids are all entitled, arrogant and stuck up. I don't think that's true in any case, but even if I did, I would leave her to make her own assessment. And I certainly wouldn't be slagging off kids who are her friends!

As it happens, she did previously form a rather negative view of the boys at one particular private school, based on her perception that they were arrogant and entitled. That perception did not extend to any of the other private schools in our area, however. It might surprise you to know that, far from reinforcing that perception, I was at great pains to point out to her that a few arrogant, entitled twats from one school didn't necessarily mean that everyone from that school was entitled and arrogant. She does understand this, of course, and has developed a much more nuanced understanding as she has got older. She retains a very negative view of that particular school culture, though, while acknowledging that there will be some pupils who manage not to be tainted by it.

I have made it clear above that I think privately educated kids are less likely to have a good awareness and understanding of socioeconomic diversity than kids who go through the state system, and I do think that it is bad for society as a whole that so many privately educated people end up in positions of political power for precisely this reason. However, that doesn't mean that I think privately educated people are all horrible! As I have said several times, I have plenty of friends who were privately educated, and plenty who choose to privately educate their kids. They wouldn't be my friends if I hated them.

Of course, I have met some privately educated people who absolutely are stuck up, arrogant and entitled twats. I have also observed quite a few I recent years running our government. However, I have met plenty of state educated twats over the years as well. Sadly, neither sector has a monopoly on this.

Move to the countryside, small classes in state schools!

I can't afford to send my children to a private school. If I had the resources I'd consider it due to feeling that smaller class sizes, more challenging lessons (making them think more and maybe outside the box), wider variety of subjects/ extra curricular. And that private could pick and choose students so that disruptive ones don't distrupt too long. The amount of times my children have said their lesson was crap because X child was causing trouble and needed removing could fill a book.

My observations of my own children (I went to a state school)
A complete lack of understanding and empathy as to how low income families live their lives. Their sense of "normal" is quite distorted. Suggestions on practical and constructive ways to address this would be warmly received as I'd like to address it while they are still young enough to be moulded somewhat.

Small classes, excellent SEN support in the right school, long hours (handy if you work, even longer holidays (a pain if you work), rare industrial action, edible school lunches, huge encouragement and support of talent in any area, the resources to keep plugging away with different methods until they find one your child "gets" whether maths or literacy..

An assumption that if you are wealthy enough to afford the fees, there is also a sahp who won't be remotely inconvenienced by a sudden announcement that the school bus will take them to a sporting fixture miles away but you are expected to pick them up at 4.30 at a random school while holding down a full time job.

This reminds me of when I was young. I was friends with a very affulent girl who came to my normal 2 up 2 down house. She said your house is a tenth the size of mine (we happened to be doing fractions also that week) & you don't have many nice things... This experience supports the argument that the affluent state kids are in their own bubble & rubbing shoulders with riff raff enables better holidays, music, equistrian & sports outside school. It's just virtue signaling & actually very patronising saying they are mixing with the under privilegad.

Yes only football like my dc's 😢

As someone who teaches in an independent secondary I would say one of the key things is that teachers are given a lot more autonomy. I teach English and unlike friends in the state sector can choose my texts and my methods of teaching within a very broad framework. We also have very highly qualified teachers in all depts and 100 of our staff have been here for 10 or more years.

I would not still be teaching if I had to deliver pre packaged power point slides.

Everything that I think and agree with!

She retains a very negative view of that particular school culture, though, while acknowledging that there will be some pupils who manage not to be tainted by it.

I’d love to see the reaction on here if someone said that their dc had a very negative view of the local state school culture.

I just think the whole conversation is very weird and judgemental. I can't imagine wanting or needing to have earnest conversations with my dd about the political implications of other people's parenting choices, and that was the same when they were at state school. Maybe that's why none of them went to Oxbridge 😅

Smaller classes.

Don’t know if that equates to better teaching however as private school teachers don’t have to have QTS.

Membership of a networking club when they leave school and therefore easier access to some jobs - this isn’t necessarily a good thing for the rest of us as we end up with people like David Cameron and Boris Johnson in power.

True. From seeing the behaviour of some of the children at our local secondary as they’re walking home from school it would be very easy for anyone round here to form the view that ‘state school pupils are violent thugs’; except everyone knows that the behaviour of a few students doesn’t represent the school community as a whole.

@Southwestten good point.
There is a lot of inverted snobbery towards people at private school.

Private school doesn't protect people from divorce, drugs, dv and they can be far more diverse than the local state

I think it's only parents tbh that are this judgemental. When mine went to uni they immediately lived with all ex state and grammar school pupils in their first year accommodation. It was never an issue, they were all good friends, still are. they were all basically nice hard working kids.

I can't imagine wanting or needing to have earnest conversations with my dd about the political implications of other people's parenting choices.

Yes, I’d hope my dc look beyond what school someone went to when forming an opinion of them.

I don’t recognise what this person is describing. If you look at the last ISC census, 37.7% of pupils in independent schools are from an ethnic minority background and 17.7% have SEND.

I’m always a bit bemused by the idea that sending a child to an independent school magically gives them this fantastic network.

@Mommymoments with respect that's absolutely nonsense.

Two of my daughters state primary school friends have both commented on how small our house is!.

It's what dc do.

I have been to state comp, grammar and private.

Even at the private students talked about each others houses as they did at the state comp.
It's the age of dc finding out about the world that's all.

I don’t recognise what this person is describing. If you look at the last ISC census, 37.7% of pupils in independent schools are from an ethnic minority background and 17.7% have SEND.

Crucru no you don’t recognise what UWhatnow is describing because it’s not true.
However the subject of private education is a useful platform to have a go at rich posh people whilst claiming to have ethical and moral opinions.

I think parents who want to send their kids to private should really consider putting them in a state primary first. My own (now adult) kids said the ones who tended to be a bit stuck up were the ones who have only ever known the private system (basically, the prep kids). My own two did state until senior then private. Funnily enough they went into Year 7 much smarter and academically knowledgeable than their prep classmates! This mix of state and private can perhaps give a more balanced outlook and a more socio diverse group of friends.

As would I.

Though what was the age of the DC coming out with that? Sounds more like a narrow middle aged, judgemental opinion than something a teenager would say. 😀

Yes this worked well for us although we were both glad to see the back of the state primary tbh.