What do private schools do that state schools don't?

[Mommymoments]

For me the local private does
Weekly swimming
Learning an orchestra instrument (extra cost)
Debating
Language (Spanish, French, German & afterschool Latin, Mandarin & Russian)
Yoga
Hockey & Lacrosse
Lots of sporting & drama opportunities
Excellent field trips out of school
Ski trip from Y7 onwards..

Would love all that for my dc's but can't afford it. But would love to hear about all the nice extras your dc's get at their private.

But I think it’s naive to think that by sending your very middle class, privileged children to a fantastic state comp you are somehow ensuring they grow up understanding the limitations of poverty and hardship

Exactly this. Interesting that most of those arguing against private schools have said that their children are at excellent state schools in affluent areas.
As I’ve said, mine will be going to private school for secondary. We don’t live in an affluent area at all, and my children encounter people from all walks of life every time they step out of the front door. I don’t see why they will have less of an idea or poverty and hardship than the middle class children going to excellent state schools in affluent areas.

Yes, I agree if you live in middle class areas with excellent state comps and an overall very highly educated parent group, like parts of Winchester or Cambridge, then it is a bit rich to come on and dismiss private school parents, because you ultimately chose to live with your own.
If you live in London and go to a posh school, your kid is still likely to encounter homeless people every day and persons passed out on drugs etc regularly.
Actually, as a parent yourself if you genuinely have formed proper friendships with other families not in your class or educational bracket or wealth bracket and you genuinely mix as a family with them including their DC that goes much further than sending them to a comp, even a more deprived one, because lots of comps actually segregate by streaming anyway. Even are local one with high FSM, top set don’t actually mix much with bottom set, ever. But then the parents in top set don’t ever talk to the parents of DC in bottom set either.

Loads of private schools don't have very swish buildings. Ours doesn't.
Some do I know (I've been to Marlborough for a visit, and it's amazing) but that's the elite ones. Equally I saw lots of schools in London with lovely new expensive buildings that I'd still not want my kids to go to, because there is too much disruption.

I can only speak for my dd's own experience. And my own as a kid.

DD's primary school was very middle class and she lived in a bubble, like many private schools. Naice, highly educated parents with naice well behaved kids. Her secondary school was socially very mixed and much less affluent. The change was a bit of a shock to her at first but it broadened her mind immensely. There were lots of kids from privileged backgrounds like her own and lots who weren't. They were set from year 7 for the more academic subjects but not for stuff like art, music, PE etc, where they were with their mixed ability forms. There was actually loads of time to mix. And perhaps unbelievably for some of you, there were even some poorer kids who made it into the top sets. And yes, dd became very close to some of them during the time that she was at the school. I don't know why that's so hard for people to believe.

It's also slightly ironic that there are lots of posters on here saying that private schools are better because the cohort is better, because there is too much disruption in state schools and the other kids don't want to learn etc. But now we are suddenly being told that the children in the top sets in state schools will actually see no disruption at all, because those top sets are actually full of the kids of educated, articulate, employed parents who no doubt have given their kids every opportunity to do fantastically well, who will ace their grades in the top set and go off to uni etc. OK then.

Mixing with private school students can be enlightening for working class students too. And inverted snobbery avoided. Some working class schools if I can call them that can be snobs. No cricket, nothing too middle class.

I went to a crap state school and the state ones round here are dire.
DS now goes to a private school - he loves it. He’s not especially academic or motivated but his confidence has shot through the roof, it’s been lovely to see.

I would have sent him to a decent state school if such an option was available. Sadly without a fancy house in a fancy area I am pretty stuck. I do enjoy getting stick off work colleagues for investing in my child’s education though - apparently I’m a Tory now! Should’ve spent the cash on fillers and holidays and preserved my left wing credentials it seems.

Absolutely, I agree. I think it is good for kids from any background to mix with people from backgrounds that are different from their own. Learning can go in all directions.

MrsBennet thank you for answering my question at length.
In the end did you give up asking privately educated people to come to interviews?

My own DC go or have gone to state schools but outstanding church primary school, followed by superselective grammars, which are incredibly ethnically diverse because of where we live. The schools have been good, the grammars are slightly exam factory in exam years, but overall they have been excellent for my DC.
Where they have mixed most socially is doing things like gymnastics locally and football club, but definitely not orchestra, which is full of the grammar school kids and middle class kids too (from both the private and state sector).
They have also mixed socially doing jobs in retail, cinema, waitressing etc, basically public facing. We live in a mixed area with council housing close by. They used to play with kids there when they were younger but there was more and more segregation as they got older. I think my DC were viewed as too uncool because they go to the grammar.

It is in West Yorkshire.

Deal with bullies immediately and effectively.

My ds was punched in the head in an unprovoked attack by a boy he didn't know. The deputy head happened to witness it. Statements were taken. Other child's parents were summoned to school the following day, and it was explained that any repetition would result in them having to find another school. Other boy did not return after Christmas.

Some certainly do; my last school did very successfully. There was an entire department dedicated to those children, an army of TAs, visiting special tutors for the visually impaired or for the partially deaf, educational psychologists.
I don't say these.schools are everywhere but they do exist.
.

Two nephews with concerning indicators of ASD. The local primary was proactive and there has been a diagnosis and support is in place. The cousin at a public school has had a patchwork of support, indicators are mentioned but no hint of a move to assessment. He is becoming more and more anxious, struggling in some subjects (including core) and likely to have to find a 'better fit' for secondary. Grandparents very involved and the refrain is 'it is such a brilliant school they would pick anything up'.

www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/teacher-blog/2014/aug/02/secret-teacher-autism-fees-private-school-teaching

"Private school teaching had its perks – well-behaved students and a work-life balance – but the emphasis was on protecting the school's bank account not pupils"

No of course not, each candidate was looked at on their own merit. Plus in any case, that kind of awareness and understanding was not the only thing that we were assessing, so the privately educated candidates often did very well on other aspects of the interview.

@SammyScrounge

Unfortunately there are millions of dc with sen with no army of ta's or help at all. It's wondeful that you know of one States school that does this but patchy provision isn't good enough.

Thank you for answering MrsBennet.

I commented earlier but I think what happened today at school explains the difference. Our ADHD child has had an issue. We between 4:30 and 8:30 this evening have emailed back and forth and between us, his teacher, school nurse and deputy head agreed some really big changes to make everything a bit easier for everyone, stuff happens fast in private school and it makes all the difference.

The main difference I can see betwen my sons state secondary and the private secondry I do some work at sometimes, is that the private has the equipment needed to do the job, whether its lots of art materials, DT stuff, stuff for experiments, tennis rackets. Its all there in good order.
The other is the teachers get more free periods and have smaller classes in the private so I think they can plan better to help the pupils progress.
And finally the private has a market of a type of student. So they can cater for that. Whether is sporty types, academic high fliers, nice but dim etc. My sons school just takes whoever applies. It doesnt have a market segment.

My daughter was in the comp in yr 7. We moved her to a private school for yr 8.

What if does is

• make her feel safe
• made her stop self harming
• helped her learn as she wasn't in the comp.
• made her happy

My son is in yr 11 and still at the comp and he's fine. But it really didn't work for my daughter

My two are now in the private sector having started in stare and I work in the state sector.

The main advantage re academic success if annual exams from Y2 onwards. Started with just English & Maths but all subjects by Y5. So when you get to your GCSEs you know how you revise best, you know the routine of exams & you've largely got over the fight/flight adrenalin that comes with doing something new but important at the same time. DD1 is sitting her GCSEs thus year & is taking them as just another set of exams. (You will still get stressed if you're that personality or your parents are but at least you know what has to be done.

Other stuff that's good

• smaller classes give teachers & TAs more time differentiate ability, learning styles & deal with SEN.

• more compulsory sport so still keeping fit in secondary & not having to do exercise as an after school activity on top of homework.

• structured school day in 6th form - DD1 has decided she still wants this rather than having to do a lot of learning at home.

• structured school day & online learning during Lockdown.
• sometimes better facilities
• more dedicated support staff for IT, PE, medical & site maintenance so teachers & TAs can focus on their job
• longer school days (incl in the fees from Y3 & available as an extra cost for younger years at my children's school) so both parents can work (as we need to pay the fees) without having to worry about additional childcare. The primary school askari now runs holiday club care (at extra cost) for all but 6 weeks in the summer & 2 at Xmas.

Downsides

• lack of mixing with kids from other classes, though there is a bigger ethnic diversity at our private school than our local state ones (in quiet country district).
• lack of local friends that you can get to under your own steam as the private school catchment area tend to be massive. This is one of the reasons my children went to pre-school locally and started out in the state sector.
• depending on budgets & how close to an inspection they are, there can be a lack of training for teachers & TAs in the private sector because of budgets. You can also end up with some eccentric teachers in the private sector if they are personable & they've been there a long time as their redundancy would take a lump out of the budget.

But they have options. Lots of options. Also the private schools seem to instill a great sense of infallibility. So whatever choice they make odds are they will do it with gusto.

@Dodgeitornot Turkish, how cool! That's a different one, nice to see!

A good point indirectly made up thread is about the catchment monopply that some parents play in order to get their dcs into a good state school. That is still paying for education, by means if a different route- yet for some reason is seen as perfectly acceptable in some sections of society (looking at you, dear cousin) whereas just paying for private is seen as being unethical. (again looking at your dear cousin who is so vocally opposed to private education and has called me a Tory stooge for choosing this). Catchment monopoly is still far out of the reach of many and perpetuates a lack of economic diversity as well, in my view.

100% this!

My DS went to private high school.

Smaller classes and lots more focus on the individual. Lots of hot housing. Lots of opportunity to do enrichment and trips. They really built their confidence.

My DS tried all sorts of things. He really enjoyed the school. But had we been in a better catchment area I think he would have done just as well.