DD Fucked Up - what will happen

[TheCakeDiet]

DD (17) called me last night sobbing. She has fucked up and all of her own making, but what I am trying to determine is what the consequences will be.

She went to her Boyfriend's house yesterday evening. It was quite late (as she had a day off school today) so they decided to sit in his mum's car to chat rather than risk waking her up.

DD sat in drivers seat for no particular reason. They put the engine on as it was cold and DD - for reasons that she can't really explain - moved the car forward about five feet. She has a provisional license only and her boyfriend the same. Meaning not qualified OR insured to be doing that. The only reason she can give is that she has only ever driven her lesson car and wanted to 'see how it felt'.

She knocked the car in front. Small scratch.

In the meantime, a 'concerned neighbour' noticed a boy in a black hoodie (boyfriend) getting into a car that she knows belongs to blond woman) his mum - and decided to report a possible 'live' car theft. Police arrived just as they were standing oven mouthed with horror and having dinked the car.

DD owned up straight away and gave her details and boyfriend's mum was woken and said she didn't want to pursue/press any charges (thank you thank you).

Police had initially searched DD and her BF thinking they were stealing the car but BF showed them the key and pointed to his house. Because they were searched (I believe?) the police had to bring dd home. They told me they wouldn't be pressing any charges and she has no record, but they do need to notify DVLA that she moved the car five feet. They have said they don't know exactly what will happen but she may get up to 6 points on her provisional license and a ban that will come into effect once she has passed her test.

We will also be contacted by Social Services.

I am livid. DD is hugely remorseful but tough shit.

I haven't even told DH yet as he will hit the roof and I didn't sleep all night and can't face it the ranting that will ensue.

I have told DD she must pay for any damage and write a letter of apology. I have also told her she will obviously now NOT get a car in the near future and we would have to wait and see what action DVLA take.

What I really want to know is what the DVLA consequences are likely to be. Police were vague - lots of 'might be this, might be that'... but also quite enjoying the fear they were putting into her - lot's of "you're lucky you aren't in a cell" etc. I have no problem with them giving her a scare, but it means it was hard to know what was the likely scenario so we don't know what to expect.

Anyone had anything similar?

Thank you

I'd be relieved that whoever did what stupid thing (your dd or the boyfriend?) It all happened at low speed and nobody was injured. When I was a teenager both my brothers wrote off cars going too fast round corners - one completely demolished a wall. And I wouldn't say they were normally that daft or silly. Inexperienced drivers make bad decisions. It was really scary 😨

If this was my teen (and I’ve got one similar age) I’d be giving him a hug too and telling him that he’s not got to suffer the natural consequences for a dumb decision. But she needs to understand that means financial consequences for you too as you’ve now got to find the money and it doesn’t grow on tree’s. My kids dad (my ex) over reacts too and that’s why my kids always come to me with problems as they know I’ll respond in a fair and measured way. Who hasn’t made a dumb mistake in life? She’s going to suffer the consequences for years with those points so doesn’t need more ‘beating up’ from dad too.

I assume she was on a driveway ie private land. If she was on private land, you don't need to have a licence to drive a car on private land. End of what are the police on about? It wally does beggar belief that they purposefully put the sh1ts up young people fir no reason.
Give your DD a break. She can pay for the damage, lesson learnt.

Don't assume. Read the OPs updates. It was a public road.

But the police told OP they wouldn't be taking it further so just how clear is this prosecution you speak of?

Yes exactly.

I would bet a lot of money on the fact they went for a drive. The damage may very well have occurred when they parked the car and together they concocted this story.

I wouldn't worry too much as it sounds like they will get away with it - I doubt the police are going to be doing a CCTV search in the local area.

But I would sit your daughter down and give her a third degree on it untill she tells you the full story.

Because telling half truths in situations like this is a serious life mistake and when dealing with the police is very very dangerous. She needs to understand that she should be fully truthful.

Whatever benefit of the doubt you are giving her, this story of just moving it forward 5 feet is obviously not the whole truth.

No, she hasn't been prosecuted. The police told you they were not taking it further. Unless something serious suddenly comes to light, they will not be taking it further.
So the clearly prosecuted comment is clear as mud.

Perspective is needed here: This is not the crime of the century.

Your daughter, who has a provisional license, moved a car five feet, I'm assuming relatively slowly, and maybe dented someone's bumper.

Yes, it was dumb, but it wasn't malicious, just foolish. And it was minor-league foolish. She didn't drink drive; she didn't go for a joyride; she didn't look at her phone and crash into a bollard or a tree; she didn't hurt anyone. She bumped into someone.

I'm glad you gave her love and compassion, because she's probably scared witless, based on your description, and this wasn't a big deal. It was an accident. So, she might have to do small jobs to pay the money back to you, and she might face consequences of higher insurance or even points...

But there are kids out there smoking meth and robbing stores; kids who are stealing cars, not just starting them; kids who are beating and bullying kids who are smaller than them.

So yeah, it's foolish, but it's minor-league foolish, and this is a lesson rather than a crime.

I think I would be asking to see the video footage, and I would be asking what BF's role in this was. It sounds as if she is taking the rap for something which was a joint enterprise. Not sure that it should be her who is totally responsible for the cost of the damage, I'd expect the BF to be contributing unless he was trying to dissuade her but she did it anyway. It's his mum's car, it was he who took the keys presumably, and I wonder if it was his idea to get in the car. I can't imagine why she would be the one in the driving seat, and I think there's more to this story than she is saying. I reckon at the very least he was egging her on , and as the adult in the situation he bears some responsibility, unless she is very strong willed.and overbearing. I just can't see most people getting in the driving seat of someone else's parent's car when they can't even drive. It doesn't ring entirely true, which is why you should check the footage.

They didn’t. Read the OP. They said they weren’t pressing charges ie not charging her with TWOC. They said they would ‘notify’ the DVLA and she may get 6 points etc. It doesn’t happen that way. The Police don’t inform DVLA and they just put points on a licence. They report the person for the offences and submit a written report so that a summons can be issued to attend court (although you can plead guilty without having to attend). The court then decides the penalty if found guilty/plead guilty and then the DVLA are informed and the licence updated accordingly.

If it’s possible to avoid telling your DH, I would. I’d also LTB. Who needs angry ranty people in their lives.

@Clymene of course I understand parallel parking but she wasn't doing that. She was driving the car forwards to see what it felt like or so she tells her mother.

But this is what I meant by effectively not leaving the 'parking space'. The car was parked on a public street. Five feet ahead, another car was parked. She moved forward and hit the car in front. She didn't turn the wheel or attempt to leave the 'space' to get onto the road. Does that make sense?

Assuming the OP is in England, for offences like this you get reported for summons. The daughter should have been given a verbal caution (you do not have to say anything etc.) then questioned.

Assuming it happened like this, someone further up the chain will decide wether to prosecute, but no licence and no insurance always gets prosecuted and 6 points is standard for no insurance.

I do hope she isn't covering for her boyfriend, conspiracy to pervert to course of justice is a whole different ball game.

I think the big problem is the father who is going to be angry and ranting for weeks. A bollocking and a punishment would suffice then move on.

@Nolongera she was not given a caution

Yes we are in England.

Does this means she will get a court summons??

Is there any chance that your child's MH issues are related to your husband's emotionally abusive behaviour?

It's still in a parking space.

What are you getting out of this? The OP has asked you to stop and you've made 3 or 4 times the number of posts of any other poster, including her. She's not shrugging this p off as nothing; she's angry and upset and really disappointed.

But that's not good enough for you because you're still going on and on at her.

But this is what I meant by effectively not leaving the 'parking space'. The car was parked on a public street. Five feet ahead, another car was parked. She moved forward and hit the car in front. She didn't turn the wheel or attempt to leave the 'space' to get onto the road. Does that make sense?

I don't necessarily believe her story. But. Taking it at face value.

She drove the car on a public road without insurance or a licence. I'm sorry you think I'm being pedantic and harsh but a car is a lethal weapon and there's a test to sit before you're allowed let loose in it on your own. And you have to have insurance to cover you in the event of an accident. She chose to ignore that for whatever reason best known to her.

I would also want to see the doorbell footage too and I’m surprised the police haven’t requested it

@mathanxiety yes, it's possible.

I might have to leave this for a while now. It's making me feel anxious (my own issues). As much for the fact that I am keeping it from DH for the time being (which makes me feel jittery and nervous), as for the fact of what will happen.

I really appreciate all the help and insights - in all honestly I am still not clear what will happen. Some of you seem very certain that she will be prosecuted/court summons which is very worrying, whilst others seem convinced that won't happen.

I have emailed the officer whose details were shared with me earlier today asking if I could have a couple of minutes of his time to get some clarity. Nothing yet.

For now - I feel too stressed by the whole thing and some of the responses are making me feel sick. I did ask... so no complaints, but i need a break from it. I'll be back later and will definitely update with an overall outcome as and whe it's clear.

Has the owner of the other car been informed? They may well want to claim against being hit by an uninsured driver. I think I’d be seriously worried about that part. Especially if a note wasn’t left

OP (if you see this, but you're quite right to step away I think), ultimately it will be OK. It really will. This too shall pass.

That's not correct, her son and his girlfriend could still be dealt with for taking without consent of the mum was supportive of this and wanted to take it further. If the mum was not supportive of this action then the police would not take that element further and would just deal with the driving otherwise than in accordance with a licence, which would be the driving (even though minimal) whilst only holding a provisional licence.

My son, when he was 17, got in a car at three in the morning with a v drunk friend. This friend only had a provisional licence and was in someone else’s car . They drove out fast into the road and crashed on a corner flipping the car upside down. Miraculously they hit no one, the driver was unharmed and my son had an injury to his hand. My son is generally a sensible, risk averse teenager so this was an enormous shock. As he wasn’t driving there were no legal implications but as you can imagine it had a profound impact.