I don’t know how bidets work!

[MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot]

I am over half a century old and I genuinely don’t know what the procedure for using a bidet is. We were on holiday last week and there was a separate room with a loo and a bidet in it. The toilet had loo roll on the left and then the bidet on the right. The other side of the bidet held a small hand towel on a hook and bizarrely, a phone.

Do you go to the loo, wipe or no wipe? Then shuffle six feet with your clothes round your ankles to the bidet. Then do you hover or sit? Do you dry yourself on the hand towel afterwards? If so is everyone using the same towel?! Because I wash my make up off with a mild scrub and there is occasionally a small residue of mascara/foundation on the towel when I dry afterwards, if you catch my drift, and I don’t share a face towel! I would certainly not want to share that towel!

An electric loo I used in Japan had very confusing buttons and I pressed the ‘rinse’ button by mistake and the jet hit the ceiling, are they all pretty powerful? If so isn’t it a faff sitting/squatting and having to operate the taps behind you? Or should I be facing the taps?

Is the procedure the same for no. 1’s and 2’s?

so many questions?..sorry for being dim

Love this.
I haven't got a clue how you use a bidet either.
I'd like to know.. i'd like to have a go on a Japanese hotel toilet too.

No idea but sharing towels is gross

I've only used one a few times, in the post labour ward...and that was a shuffle from the loo to dunk my post birth fanny in because it was too nippy to wipe. I'm sure it sizzled, cartoon style.

We use ours for washing feet or soaking clothes pre wash.

there you go

its to dry your hands.... most people share hand towels in bathrooms in the family home

Haha - I too have no clue how to use a bidet. I will watch the youtube video!

Families all have their own towels and flannels for the bidet. Changed daily.
You sit on it with your back to the tap and wash the shit off your arse. Like you'd wash shit from any other part of your body that it got onto.

We had one of those Japanese bum washers, as we called it.

Thought it would be brilliant, as remote controlled. When you finished your business, pressed a button and a little arm came out and jet washed your bum, then it blow dried it.

Got rid of it in the end as everything just felt so slow. Fine if you’ve got nothing else to do but sat on the lav for 10 minutes was just boring.

What do you try your bum with then?

That video was very informative!
Although she's quite annoying.
I call it a BEEday. Is b'day an American pronunciation? Or specific to her? Like meecro-wah-vay?

I haven't finished watching but I had to stop and post. She says don't wipe with loo roll and then sit with your bum in the flowing water (no need for soap, it's optional) and that will clean you.

I really don't think running water is enough to get poo (which tends to be a bit greasy) off.
I'd have wiped with loo roll and then used the water for an extra clean, with soap if necessary.

We had one when we bought the house. It didn’t work, the water didn’t come from the taps No idea what it was meant for. We removed it when we had the bathroom refitted.

We have a bidet. Ours is directly alongside our loo (ca 40 cm away). We wipe after using the loo and, as far as I know, all sit on the bidet rather than hovering. I generally sit in the same direction as for the loo but have sat in the other direction at times (e.g. post birth as I found it more comfortable.) The tap has a nozzle that can be used to direct the jet of water where you like or you can lower the plug, fill the bowl and then use your hand or a cloth (a fresh one each time) to gently wash. I don't use any soap but DH occasionally uses a small amount of liquid soap if he's washing in preparation for applying cream to prevent saddle sores before a long cycle ride. We have a pile of small sized fresh towels alongside for drying off and the towel goes directly into the provided wash bin.

And yes, before anyone asks, I have been known to wash my feet in it in summer. (It's thoroughly cleaned every day.)😁

In Spain they're always next to the loo. So you step over to the bidet and sit with your back to the taps. Run water, the nozzle can be directed at your bum. Dry bum with toilet paper. Wash hands.
Much cleaner than paper alone.
Towels are to dry your hands after washing them.

Use your hand and soap if necessary. You wash your hands after anyway.

How informative..
is there not a likelihood of poo drips as one waggles from the loo to the bidet having not wiped?
Also the bidet must be as germy as the toilet after and require anti bac sprays between usage.. not sure id want to share a bidet with my husbands backside
And finally a bum towel would be essential!
I think id rather continue showering 1-2 times per day

I don't find I generally have poo drips 🤔
You could wipe once or dab gently and then transfer.
I don't find the bidet gets especially gross, no because the water washes things away. If you want you can just spray antibac and wipe the bidet with toilet paper after each use, same as you might with the toilet. Do you wipe the toilet down after each use?

You share a toilet with his back side? How is the bidet different?

I tried one in a holiday cottage we stayed in last summer. I am a convert. Will definitely have one fitted when we move. My bottom is basically broken from various fucked up births over the years and it was so nice to be able to feel 'clean' without using a ton of toilet paper and wipes 😅

Thank you all for your prompt replies. Good to know I’m not alone! So if you don’t wipe first you shuffle dripping with wee and worse to the bidet and wash, but…. The loo roll was on the opposite side to the loo so unless I take it with me I’ve then got to drip scuttle back to the get a wodge of loo roll to dry my hoo ha and bum? There was no basin in the cubicle and only one small towel so it can’t have been for drying your hands. But I’m grateful that I have a clearer understanding after literally years of wondering.

sitting facing the nozzle sounds like it could be pleasant though……..

After living in the Middle East we installed bidet hoses at the side of all our toilets. So much cleaner and hygienic than wiping alone. A quick squish with mini shower head after you finish your business (no need to wipe) and then dry with some loo roll. If your look roll comes away dirty (which is rare), squish again. All done in 10 seconds and never any skid marks 😂

I take toilet paper with me. I would always wipe first if I thought there was any risk of drips! I don't use it after a wee though, only a no. 2. We have a towel next to ours but it's only used to dry the baby's bottom as he gets quite wet. I don't think its any dirtier than a sink or shower tbh.

Aaaaah! I seee, you can wash your hands in the bidet afterwards and that’s what the little towel is for. Seems kind of gross, you wouldn’t poo in your sink, but that does clarify things further.

”check with your hostess” which is the communal shitty towel and which is the hand towel. Interesting conversation opener but I’m relieved to know it wouldn’t be apparent which was which.

so to sum up, they sound like a great thing to have as long as you don’t have to share the facilities with anyone else!

I dont wipe the loo down between husband and child no but equally I dont sit there marinating my arse cheeks in the toilet bowl do I