American middle class kids & their numerous extracurriculars!

[Leopardprintonsie]

In the UK we talk about over scheduling kids & effect on mental health etc.. My US relatives (East Coast based Connecticut & New York) kids are in numerous activities to make them "well rounded"..
Lacrosse, field hockey (girls), rowing, basketball, athletics, dance on top of two instruments at the bare minimum. Apparently this is the norm in middle class families where the aim is a top college. All this on top of high grades. The cost alone is staggering. Any U. S mumsnetters want to give an insight?

I’m not American but this is my experience of my relatives in California.

it seems exhausting.

having said that, the eldest has an offer at Harvard so maybe it’s worth it ?

Same as my relatives kids, all in Ivies.. the rest in top colleges such as Georgetown & one in MIT.. Lovely kids but very different to mine!

Do they get the chance to grow and develop within their families, it sounds like they are being processed in preparation for their ultimate entry into Capitalism. I find it depressing!

What I find interesting about america, and I would count Australia in this as well is that they sell themselves very much on a 'classless' society but they are not classless at all. There are very clear distinctions in both those countries as to your social and economic class. This is an example of this. Who on earth has the money and time for all that if you're working 3 cleaning jobs to get the basics of food and heating. (same as this country but we dont pretend there is a differential).

I wonder whether any of them keep up these pursuits past leaving home, out of interest.

I understand what you mean. To my cousins (& uncles/aunts who immigrated years ago) money is king. My cousin's kids are all in a mixture of private & very good state schools but they do numerous enrichment activities which would be frowned upon here I'd imagine! They say it's the absolute norm in their circles on top of very expensive summer camp residentials.
All the kids we've met over the years are very happy & we'll adjusted.
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Absolutely! My relatives are travelling with the kids any opportunity they get & love coming to Europe to visit their UK relatives😁

Another reason why the US college admissions system is completely unfair in underprivileged kids who cannot access all these extracurricular activities. I think that's why UCAS stopped asking for information about extracurricular activities in this country.

I don’t think it’s optional when it comes to college applications. Not only are extracurriculars expected but many colleges offer scholarships, mainly in regards to sports, for desired extracurricular activities (like rowing, lacrosse etc) of which you’re not limited to just one. So there’s very much a financial incentive and benefit to the initial outlay for families.

Academic ability and attainment isn’t enough when it comes to prestigious/competitive colleges.

(Not American but have American family)

It's just that here in the UK so many activities would nearly be deemed child abuse.
My cousin was explaining that nearly all extracurriculars are after school not built into the school day which is purely academic. Some kids may be doing 3 activities a night.
Also expected to be a model citizen from a young age & volunteer within the community. Again for college application.

My American relatives have their kids in pretty serious sports but not so much anything else - the sports can be helpful for scholarships to university

Don't they finish school earlier in the day and have long holidays? I always assumed it was because the parents have little access to time off work, so have to put their kids in extra things for childcare.

It’s pretty crazy, but it’s to do with the entrance system for high ranking universities over there; there is a focus on being “well rounded,” which in practice means “doing a ton of extra curricular activities.” British universities, meanwhile, prefer you to be a nerd who is obsessed with your subject, and extra curricular are not much of a focus unless they are directly related to that subject.

Both sides have their faults, but the UK system is a lot fairer for bright kids from rough, non-university-going-parent backgrounds. A poor kid CAN, potentially, buy study/revision guides and textbooks for a few quid each, learn about their subject using free online resources, and go into an Russell Group uni interview and impress the interviewer by talking about what they know and how they learned it. Good luck trying to impress an American interviewer who wants candidates who did Mandarin and sailing since they were 5….

I don't think it's that unusual in the UK to have your children in lots of extra curriculars is it? I certainly don't think it's thought of as child abuse. My dd is 7 and does 6 different extra curriculars (brownies, 2 different dance classes, musical theatre, swimming and piano). She goes to state school and most of her friends do a similar number of classes. I think it's more calculated in the states for college admission, as pps have said but I think plenty of British kids do extra curriculars.

My observation is that British kids do a lot of extra curriculars (my 6 year old is like yours) but the Americans take school sport waaay more seriously. My nephews sports commitments take priority over everything for their family and it's hours and hours every week for the baseball season

I don't think that is much different to some children in the UK.
I know of children who pretty much have a different activity every night. Parents constantly rushing from one thing to another dropping off and collecting.
Exhausting way to live.... IMHO.

It's slightly different in that their school day finishes very early and there's often a big range of extra curriculars provided at the school. Sports might run every day or at least several days a week for that sport's season, then you get the summer camp that's attached to it. So it can be convenient childcare as well, and different from the typical UK situation where you collect the kids at say 3 or 4 pm and drive off to the activity.

But don't they start early at 8am & some kids do activities as early as 5am! My cousins kids one a figure skater, the other a rower are both at their sports at 5am, both ridiculously expensive activities ... The figure skater is very talented & her parents figure it will be a niche talking point on her ucas form. She does two instruments, lacrosse & hockey also. Exhausting.

My kids in Australia do this. My daughter plays netball, does jazz and ballet, and plays the viola and the piano.

My sons now in high school and cut back. He now just does piano and karate. Last year he also did tennis, viola and percussion and was in the choir.

my other son does karate, Air Force cadets, piano and choir.

it’s normal here. But yes very expensive

It's not a country thing, it is a money thing. In every country middle class/upper middle class people try to expose their kids to lots of after school activities

I think in the UK it is very common for primary age kids to do lots of extra curricular, but then generally when they get to year 8/9 most drop a lot of things and only carry on with the things they are either very good or really enjoy.
EG there are lots and lots of younger children fun classes for gymnastics but for teens unless you are good enough and dedicated enough to be in a squad there arent really any other fun classes.

In the US the high schools have so many differnt clubs , loads of sports including random ones like wrestling and fencing whereas in the UK its generally rubgy/football/netball with the odd summer althletics thrown in. US have school newspapers and glees clubs and various music like jazz and orchestra, then cheerleading and science, photography, improv, drama, art, history - the list is endless.

Saying that DS1 did start a map club in primary school but it didnt last long!

There must be a middle ground - yes all those activities sound exhausting and ideally kids should have enough down time to relax, but then in the uk there are so many teenagers who come home from school by 3.30 and spend 7 hours a day on the xbox, tiktok or hanging round the streets - playing sports or learning an instrument seems like a much healthier (physically and mentally) pastime!

It's a good point that it puts the kids who can't afford any of that at a huge disadvantage though.

But then again American colleges have huge bursaries that most UK unis don't. So if youre poor but exceptionally clever or talented at a particular activity you might even be better off in the US -it's those that are poor but just fairly clever or just okay that are going to be hugely disdavtanged compared to their middle class equivalents.

So much better than sitting on games consoles which seems the way for majority (not all, before you jump on me) of UK working class kids.

There's a whole.book on this. "Thrivers: The surprising reason why some kids struggle" by Michele Borba Ed.D.

I am irish, working class in a social deprived area, we would do a lot of activities

Monday afternoon - science club
Tuesday afternoon - coding
Tuesday afternoon - soccer practice
Wednesday afternoon - chess
Wednesday evening - scouts
Thursday afternoon - yoga
Thursday evening - soccer practice
Friday afternoon - sports club
Friday evening - attending/support local football team
Saturday - football match
Sunday - swimming

This would very much be the normal around here. It is impossible to get into many of these clubs, nepotism or years on a waiting list

At home we are learning spanish on Duo lingo, they are being taught the tin whistle

Trying to find a boxing club which training on a monday at the moment