American middle class kids & their numerous extracurriculars!

[Leopardprintonsie]

In the UK we talk about over scheduling kids & effect on mental health etc.. My US relatives (East Coast based Connecticut & New York) kids are in numerous activities to make them "well rounded"..
Lacrosse, field hockey (girls), rowing, basketball, athletics, dance on top of two instruments at the bare minimum. Apparently this is the norm in middle class families where the aim is a top college. All this on top of high grades. The cost alone is staggering. Any U. S mumsnetters want to give an insight?

Oh and they also do DoE and have to do "service" as part of their school records - so some form of community volunteering.

As much as I think loading your child up on extracurriculars from an early age is insanity, I think for teens, it's quite healthy to have them. the English system of "pick 3 subjects and spend all your time studying for the exams at the end of Y13" has some fairly serious flaws. The subjective element of extracurricular activities is problematic, but my cynical response is that the affluent parents will always work hard to game the system. Look at the posts on MN claiming that private school pupils are discriminated against (they aren't, statistically).

So, what's the problem ? You post states In the UK we talk about over scheduling kids & effect on mental health etc

But later you acknowledge that I already said my cousin's kids are lovely, well adjusted & very happy in themselves despite the numerous activities

So is your post intended to slag off US parenting compared to UK ? I can't really see what the problem is, if kids from both countries are doing fine.

This.

‘Meritocracy’ has spawned one of the most rigid class systems in the western world, because it makes it easy for the upper classes to reliably replicate themselves across generations. There is a lot of motivation to do this because the social safety net is so much thinner in the States. The stakes are too high to not succeed.

The formula is to hothouse your child with as much academic and extracurricular activity as they can possibly handle. This is for two reasons: the first is the obvious fodder for university applications, but the second—and equally important—reason is to groom of kids to become super ‘high capacity’ adults who are able to manage multiple pursuits at a high level. It is the latter that sets kids apart from the pack in American life, because it demonstrates a strong work ethic and an intrinsic drive/ability to bear a huge workload and smile whilst doing it. American employers are looking for these qualities above almost everything else. They pay well, but the price for that is an expectation that your job is your god.

I would never argue that the USA is classless--it simply has different class markers.

But is the UK really so different?

(Remember the original "rise of the meritocracy" was Michael Young speaking of the UK - and he didn't mean it as a compliment)

@mathanxiety that's really interesting & sounds similar to one of my cousins kids albeit the sport is rowing. How does the homework get done? Apparently American kids get a lot more than here..

I completely agree with this, it's vital for teens to have extracurriculars.

mathanxiety
It's all laid on in school.

American free-at-point-of-service public schools are like expensive British public schools.

You don't have to schlep your children anywhere, just drop them off in the morning.

I didn't even need to drop off. The Yellow bus picked up down the street and dropped back before tea time. School was 7.30-2.00 for the younger kids and 8-2.30 for the high school.
Even though I went through school in UK, all my kids were in US for school (youngest has had a 50/50 split now in Yr13 UK) and I must admit I really liked the schools better there, than the ones I had access too here in UK.

To be honest it sounds like a American kids are offered much more opportunities in schools.. My dc's school only offer after school football..
Private in the town offers yoga, gardening, music, baking, hip hop dancing, lacrosse &, hockey...

I dont think DD1 was alone in this, but in her case (she did badminton, swimming, and water polo, different seasons, different years) homework was done at study hall (40 minute class period during the school day) and squeezed in between races at poolside or between badminton matches on a meet day, and also completed at home. On practice days (every day unless there was a meet) she was home between 5:30 and 6 and then got her homework done in the evening. There were a good few all nighters all the same. She usually had a good 3-4 hours of homework daily. She did honours and AP classes so her workload was greater than that of students doing college prep or lower level courses.

DD wasn't at all hoping for a sports scholarship. She joined badminton after she didn't make the freshman softball team in the Fall tryouts - there were no cuts in badminton (Spring sport). The following year she joined the swim team - again, no cuts. She did badminton again that school year. She swam the year after that too, doing water polo because a friend talked her into it, but dropped badminton. In her senior year she did AP Studio art and dropped her sports as it was time consuming. She had to get a daily PE waiver to get her portfolio done.

Regardless of extra curricular sports, all students have to do daily PE in my local high school. At one point DD was in the pool at 5:30 am for swim practice and again right before lunch for the swim portion of the four year PE syllabus, then back in the water after school. Thankfully, that only happened one semester.

Students who are on a sports team whose grade in any class falls below a C are assigned to after school study hall instead of team practice until their average gets back up to a C. For students who are keen to use sports as a way to get funding for university, there is a lot of motivation to get good at time management.

@mathanxiety is there a snobbery about East Coast High schools the way there is about the UK ones. I think the differing attitudes to extracurriculars is incredible. The U. S kids seem to work very hard & put in long hours.

Middle class US kids all across the US do a lot of sports and extra curriculars.

Snobbery doesn't come into it. It's the accepted middle class American way of preparing your children for life - working hard, putting in long hours, pushing yourself, being a team player, while making sure your school performance doesn't slip. It's training for keeping a lot of plates in the air all at the same time.

Here we go again, another US bashing thread that no one asked for.

yes, this again.

Im from the US and i find it fascinating the differences between the UK and the US. I don’t bash the UK for having/doing things differently than the US. I’ve see it happen a bit lately. And I’m fine with simple curiosity but a lot of times I feel like it’s bashing/putting down the US. And rarely any other countries are ever brought up in this manner.

Anyway I only know a few parents that have their kids in multiple sport/activities at one time. Not many people can afford it. Usually they are in one sport/activity at a time , like my dd.

As long as it can be afforded, then most excellent

I agree completely especially the way the U. S high schools organise the activities after school makes it much easier for kids & parents... Our school only offer after school football nothing else & mine aren't interested.

I'm curious about the "dropping below a C" thing.

Are classes designed that every child could get a C if they turn up/put the time in?

I kind of think the UK exam based system fails the 40% or so that can't get Cs by design.

From my amazing research (ahem TV) is band/orchestra usually scheduled in the school day? And being on the school paper? Cheerleaders? I think that's brilliant.

Here it's "after school" so extra travel arrangements are made rather than being part of the curriculum.

@3littlebeans it sounds fantastic to me too, one of my dc loves writing & photography, she would love to be involved in a school newpaper & year book.

I'm a brit who lives in the US. When I was in primary school I did two instruments, two choirs, orchestra and horse riding lessons. When I went to secondary school I added singing lessons and musical theater to that after school. Everyone I know did LOADS of extra curriculars.

I'm in Manhattan now (spiritual home of bonkers competitive parenting) and my 3.5 year old does gymnastics and swimming. When he starts primary school (pre-k) next year, he'll likely pick up some other after school classes. I don't think it's that crazy? One of his friends does cookery after school and another one's just started skateboarding lessons. We don't make him do anything he hates - he tried football and that was a disaster, but he's already really keen to try Ice Hockey when he's old enough.

We've just been touring public (state) primary schools and they make a huge deal of all the extra curriculars they offer and how they produce rounded children.

Interesting. Do most state secondaries in the UK not provide a wide variety of clubs then? DS's has rock band, musical theatre, choir, drama, natural history, chess, gardening, LGBQT, about a kazillion different kinds of sport, art, etc etc. I didn't realise how lucky we were!

I was going to say the same thing @crackofdoom. DD starts at a state secondary this September, and the school appears, from the open evening and word of mouth, to offer a huge amount of lunchtime and after school clubs, from choirs, orchestras and drama to coding, DT and art, sport, debating and feminist society…it all looks great but I hadn’t realised it was so unusual.

@crackofdoom my dc's state only offers after school football 😩