American middle class kids & their numerous extracurriculars!

[Leopardprintonsie]

In the UK we talk about over scheduling kids & effect on mental health etc.. My US relatives (East Coast based Connecticut & New York) kids are in numerous activities to make them "well rounded"..
Lacrosse, field hockey (girls), rowing, basketball, athletics, dance on top of two instruments at the bare minimum. Apparently this is the norm in middle class families where the aim is a top college. All this on top of high grades. The cost alone is staggering. Any U. S mumsnetters want to give an insight?

My kids did stuff after school in US, but also school is out at 2.30 and a lot of free school clubs/teams were after school, so there was Swim team, Soccer, baseball. etc. (all seasonal). and they came home on the late school bus which was just for kids doing extracurricular activities Home by about 6 in time for dinner.
When they were under High school age you had to pay for these activities they weren't offered in Elementary school where we were.

IME, to get into university in the US, kids do need to do a lot of extracurriculars particularly sports and instruments. Less interest in languages suprisingly.

The disabled kids I knew had been told at a young age they wouldn't get into the top universities because they didn't do 'enough' sporting activities. Kids from poorer backgrounds work harder to be recognised for scholarships as they can't afford the team sports and events. It's a really tricky situation.

We're a British family, living in Sweden and my son does lots of extracurricular activities. He'd do more if I let him but I can't be arsed with sitting in the car longer than I already do. He does jujutsu, swimming, ice hockey, saxaphone, piano and hip hop dance. He's desperate to also do drums, parkour and ballet.

Connecticut native here. While what the OP is describing isn't unheard of, I wouldn't say it's the norm. My son played one sport and in the off-season he'd try something different like tennis or golfing (through school). For an academic extracurricular he pursued a language (beyond the one required for school) because he has an affinity for that.

He received acceptance letters for all the universities he applied to except one (wait listed), so I don't think you need to have an exhaustive list of activities in order to get into a good school. At least that wasn't our experience.

Academics are still going to trump everything else when it comes to college admissions.

I have friends in different countries and I have found that in many, kids do play a number of sports (sometimes with their family, e.g. tennis or swimming) until they go to uni (same with other ECAs). The US is probably where this happens the most I have noticed - the more, the merrier there, it seems. However here in the UK we don't seem to get kids into as many ECAs, and when we do it's usually swimming, ballet (for girls), or a single instrument. Although the majority of my friends with kids do not live in the UK so my local sample is limited.

Here we go again, another US bashing thread that no one asked for.

Oh no please don’t burst her bubble, the MN approach is see one thing from one person in the US and create thread asking what ALL Americans do this. Said thread then descends into bashing posts based on stereotypes from watching movies and YouTube.

Underprivileged Americans with decent grades get into universities far more easily and with much more funding than middle/upper middle class kids. One reason they do all the extracurriculars and such is because it is far more competitive for them to secure places. There is a massive double standard; underprivileged kids often aren’t even held to the same academic standards, and certainly are not expected to have ever done a sport.

I’ve worked in American universities. If you’ve got a FAFSA with the right code and compelling entrance essays about your struggles, you’ll have plenty of offers.

It’s honestly embarrassing. I don’t remember America being this bizarre boogeyman in the past and I don’t know when it’s started. The worst part is that Americans are some of the nicest people and would be so dismayed to know that Brits slag them off like this. They’re always so lovely and kind about the UK and England in particular.

I wouldn’t say just doing sports makes you ‘well rounded’ though.
I’ve always imagined the extra curricular activities are taken much more seriously the ones we do here. Not like DD going to brownies and doing craft and indoor rounders.

I have 2 friends with children in American colleges on full sports scholarships (including food). Neither of them are well off and means they won’t get saddled with quite the same debt they would here.
if I was American I think having a sporty child would take some of the pressure of paying for college, I can see the attraction.

My philosophy has always been that you want to help your child find the best school for them, and that really might not be an ultra competitive top tier Ivy (for example).

If you have the money and determination you could probably mold your slightly-above-average student into a viable candidate for a really competitive school. Private SAT/ACT tutor to get those test scores really high. Extracurriculars designed to catch the eye of admissions. If you have the contacts maybe even a summer internship somewhere with a lot of cachet.

But what happens when they land that coveted slot in the Freshman class? In a sea of ultra high achievers are they going to be totally overwhelmed? Stressed, miserable, barely scraping by academically?

Sometimes parents need to take a brutally honest look behind what's driving this push for "only the very best". If it's the status inferred by having your kid in an exclusive school....well, there could be a terrible cost for that.

I dont really have a view on extra curricular activities as such but I do find it embarrassing that people fall over themselves to see some link or affiliation with america.

We have very little in common with america and I see them as a 3rd world country in many respects, their human rights, their social systems etc

I dont know why it is that whenever something happens there, its news in the UK, it doesnt happen with Canada for example or any number of countries. Culturally we are extremely different.

It's not slagging them off. I already said my cousin's kids are lovely, well adjusted & very happy in themselves despite the numerous activities.
I also said that the same amount would be nearly unheard of in the UK & if your kids did similar no doubt mumsnet would be banging on about mental health. My kids do plenty but maybe not as high brow as their US cousins do.

I have family in the US and my understanding is that the school day is quite short and geared in a way that the extracurriculars almost take part within the school day. The kids on that side all do multiple sports and instruments but it rarely takes place after dinner time.

I also have friends here who send their kids to something every day and some who don’t send them to anything.

oh god, as a quiet bookish kid i'd have absolutely hated this. Thank god my mum was poor and couldn't afford it!

I think that's why UCAS stopped asking for information about extracurricular activities in this country.

UCAS didn't ask for information about extracurricular activities. They have, and always have had, a section for a "personal statement" where you can write about such things if you want.
Most universities aren't really that interested in it though, and never were.

Bear in mind that a large number of extracurricular activities and clubs that children do, certainly at middle and high school age, are offered through their (state or private) schools. State schools do bugger all by comparison.

I grew up in the States. I wasn't even all that busy but in high school I was a photography editor on the school yearbook team, wrote for the school newspaper, was a student ambassador, backstage crew for school productions, Spanish club and National Honor society. I dropped out of football and softball when I was 13 to focus on my studies. Did any of it make any difference in my life? Nope. Could I have gone to university without doing them? Absolutely. Not the Ivy League, but a decent state uni would have sufficed.

American kids are kept very busy. Never an idle moment. Although the bar for "qualifications" is set much lower in America than here in the UK, they have three times the amount of homework to get there.

Sounds exhausting.

Yes you may not mean to slag them but it’s common knowledge that such threads that involve the US just result in people trying to show and confirm why the UK is better and it’s already happening here.

It’s ridiculous because most of the posts are based on hearsay and stereotypes but everyone types like they truly know what they are talking about.

You claim the kids are happy, adjusted and lovely yet still feel the need to ask on MN why Americans do this because you think it’s wrong and different from what you do.

These are types of statements that make me hate these threads based on stereotypes, you really don’t think quiet people in the US have any chance? Like they are relegated to an island of failed quiet people to suffer?

There are quiet people in the US?!

I'm in the US. Like a previous poster said, the biggest thing in college applications is academics. An excellent GPA and high SAT or ACT scores and good academic letters of recommendation matter a lot more than if you play the tuba or not. (and having a legacy connection to the school matters even more)

I suppose it was expected that your middle school/high school kids would do sports or some sort of extracurricular activity. Nearly all of it is through the school. there were multiple sports offered, choral, a capella groups, drama, school paper, satirical school paper, mentoring opportunities, model UN, school government etc. None of it cost anything (although most schools do ask for a sub for rowing). Crew schedules and ice hockey schedules are pretty brutal - as in up at 5 for water or rink time. Most schools also require volunteer hours to graduate too. Mine were all fine with it.

I grew up in America and very middle class, and I can't say I experienced this. I did do a sport, which was maybe 2-3 days a week in the evening or on the weekend. Some weekends I'd have a competition which lasted all day. I did scouts. In high school, I did theatre and a few after school clubs (these were compulsory). But it absolutely wasn't every day. I did have a few friends though who were very serious about dance or a sport and they did train every day for hours, but they were at quite a high level so it's not much different than here.

I would say the reason for it is because of the university application process. It's not like the UK at all and those activities make the difference between being offered a place and not. It's a much more subjective (I would say biased) admissions system. And it make very likely make the difference between receiving funding or not. University education is very expensive in America, much more so than here. Easily $50,000 a year (for 4 years) at a private university, most of which will need to be paid for my family savings and loans. I can see how people might see it as an investment that will pay off later (I'm not sure how true that is though as many people come out saddled with huge debt that must be paid off regardless of income). I know people who have monthly student loan payments as big as my mortgage just from an undergraduate degree.

I never understand doing so many activities. If you play an instrument, surely you need to practice every day/most days. Double if you play two. If you do ballet and want to get to pointes then you need to be strong enough and that easily can take two classes a week. If you play a team sport then you have training and a competition each week.

So these kids doing ballet, lacrosse/hockey/football, two instruments, swimming etc all in one week, how do they actually fit it all in? Because you also have to get to each place before the class/training starts, get changed and have enough time to digest whatever needs to be eaten.

As for the voluntary work, from the CVs I saw and interviews I conducted in one of my previous jobs, it was done for credits. It wasn't an extra-curricular activity.

Before we all knock it, my American neighbours (been here about 4 years) have made tennis an important part of their kids' lives.

The eldest is now at University on a fee-free scholarship (not a top one, but I am not sure how academic she is).

High School sport does seem to be highly valued by colleges over there.