What’s your gut reaction to a 38 year old being pregnant?

[Pegfriedrice]

Do you consider 38 old to be having a baby? Just interested in how people honestly feel hearing it as obviously most people would be polite in person but I’m not sure if secretly they’d think it was quite old to be having a baby?

probably overthinking but hey…

Totally normal!

My mum had me at 39 back in late 50s, my DD had her 1st at 39. No one blinked an eye, the mid -wife said it is quite normal.

Completely normal, I had my first at 32 and my second at 40

I’m sorry you’re finding it difficult. But it’s completely personal.

My mum was 40 when I was born. She was ace. The best mum I could have wished for. She never seemed particularly ‘old’ and was always up for fun and had a great love for life.

I lost her relatively early and that hurts, but I wouldn’t have swapped her for anything - not even for a few more years of having a mum around.

I would have liked to have children earlier but life, my ex fucking me over massively and then fertility issues had other plans so I wasn’t in a position to ‘make sure’ anything of the sort. I had my DD at 40. I hope she thinks a fraction of highly of me as I did and do of my mum.

(As I also always point out on these threads - my mum was my adoptive mum, my birth mum was much younger and died in childbirth - my biological father died at 42 - age is absolutely no guarantee).

To answer your question OP I’d think absolutely nothing of it. It’s about the average age for mums in the baby group I was part of, there were one or two older than me even.

I’d just think how lovely.

Congratulations! Wouldn’t think twice. I had my second at 38 as did several of my friends. Would have had children earlier if I had found the right person but didn’t. Certainly didn’t think I was too old in my late thirties.

I'm 44 and expecting my first in 7 weeks. Other than one knuckle dragger everyone has been really supportive and my age really hasn't been an issue.

I think most first time mums are mid to late thirties now. My mum had me at 21 and my second brother at 38….that was fifty odd years ago and 38 was a slight concern. Now its absolutely average.

It does not matter how old you are as long as you love them, does it.

Definitely over reacting. I was 38 when I got pregnant (39 giving birth). Midwife said she had a lot of people in their late 30s & early 40s on her books. It’s very much the norm now.

Also only my family and close friends knew how old I was. Work colleagues and random strangers didn’t so not sure why you are focusing on age.

Ha. I know someone who was 46 when they had their last baby

15 year age gap between that and their last child. I didn’t think anything about her age when she told me she was pregnant. Though she said she found it so incredibly hard that she wouldn’t recommend it to anyone!

I absolutely wouldn't think anything of it to be honest, if someone told me they were pregnant at age 38. My daughter had her son on her 39th Birthday and my Grandmother was 44 when my Mother was born back in 1929

If someone was asking me though, I would counsel that for quite a lot of would-be parents , fertility dips after age 35-37 and it's not a good idea to put things off if you don't have to. My daughter was desperate for another baby and it didn't happen. She got pregnant 4 times, but the eggs failed to grow. She had investigations, but basically it was an 'age' thing. Of course lots of people do have babies in their late 30's or early 40's, but many do struggle too to conceive at those ages

I was 36 when I had my 2nd daughter there’s a 16 year gap between my girls, I’m more tired then I was with my first and my daughter wishes I had her when I was younger because I’ll die of old age soon, I’m 47 now and that’s old apparently 😂😂😂 xx

@Pegfriedrice , I had my children at 27 and 29, and that was very normal then ((late 1980's). My DD and my DiL had their children at + 35 and that's very normal too. When I was a young mother it was often said you needed to have your children at a young age otherwise they might have birth defects. Medicine has evolved, and we know a lót more about what exactly causes birth defects and what absolutely not. Maybe your friend isn't too knowledgable about this and still saying the same things she heard from her (grand)mother.

Congratulations. I was 36 with my first, 38 with my second and 42 with my third. 🙂

You're 54 with a 91 year mother? I'm not sure that classes as a particular tragedy.

Gut reaction would be Congratulations!

Not at all I was 41 when I tried for ivf,sadly didn't happen.The one thing I wanted ,I wish you all the joy and happiness.

I think it depends on the circles you mix in. I was 30 and 35 when I had mine. I live on a ex-council estate and when I was dropping the kids off at school I felt ancient compared with other Mums. I'm closer in age to the Grandparents.
My best "Mum friend" from school is 14 years younger than me, as she often reminds me,🤣 usually when I'm talking about kids TV programmes.
But among my friends from uni or work etc I was the first to get pregnant and women having babies in their late 30's and into their 40's is perfectly normal.

My gut reaction would be Congratulations too! I have friends who had their babies at all ages from 18 to 46.

@Pegfriedrice you do you. Before birth control (pre-1960’s) this was v.common place. You had babies, till you couldn’t anymore. After this time(1970-2000), it was more common for ppl to have kids young and could reasonably be grandmas at 38/39. I would say having kids older is now (post-2000) more common with many not starting family’s till around the age of 30, making 38/39 more common now, however, nhs classes women over age of 35 as being geriatric mothers as risks are higher, this doesn’t help with age-ism or the stigma of being too old.

For first baby a bit late but average lifespan is like 83 no judgment really. You can't plan life perfectly

My lovely colleague is pregnant at forty. I wouldn't think anything of it and think it's quite normal amongst a lot of women who may have done career first.

That said, my partner was born to his 38 year old mum when his brothers were 12 and 11. I'm sure people (rightly) deduced that was less than intentional.

For me personally at 35 with a 9 and 7 year old I can't think of anything I'd like less, but if someone at 38 is pleased to be pregnant then good for them!

Completely normal. I had no 3 at 41

Which is a little worrying to be honest. 20s (late 20s) is the biological halfway point!

To me, the optimum age to have a baby is sort of a bell curve, with the ‘best age’ generally probably 28-32.

Older parenthood has really changed the fabric of society in a way that isn’t really working in my opinion although of course if you’re in a much better position at 38 than 28 that is optimum for you as an individual.