Do you tell your DS DD how much you earn?

[Mixedin]

We work in a sector where salary is not discussed. Plus one of us earns much more. Do you discuss it? How?

I suppose the generational assumption is that DH earns more. So for some reason it feels ick to say I do.

I've been open with my DC, I was a single mother for a while and managed to scrape myself into a solid career that means I now earn over the national median and I think my example of hard work is important. However, now that I am at a point where I would be out-earning their father with the next promotion or job change, I won't be sharing the figures because if he knows, it's possible he would stop paying maintenance. 🙄

DH is self employed and earnings can vary massively. This year has been the best for probably 15 years (although fairly modest- esp for MN!) I tell my teen DD how much we earn, as I recently put figures in an online calculator to see how much she would get for a maintenance loan at uni.

This is true. I discovered I was being paid £7 k less than a colleague doing the exact same job (and as I was on the bang smack average wage £7 kwas alot).

The difference was that he went into a salary discussion threatening to leave and i took the salary they offered.

Likewise

Yes, I think it is very important for children to know and understand what their parents earn.

Don’t have kids but my parents were always open about what they earn, how bills work/what they cost, what the house is worth etc. I’m open about my salary now too, I’d tell anyone who asked. Friends and I often discuss our pay and future job opportunities and the salaries. Being secretive about it helps no one, all it does is keep less advantaged people underpaid.

DS and DD are 18 & 16 .You may find you have to divulge this information when they and if they go to university. Maintenance loans are means tested....I also find it useful to have conversations about how much we have left over after bills etc, puts things into perspective for them.

To an extent it has been mentioned but not regularly brought up. I don't see a need to hide or advertise it to them, but an explanation that things aren't free and require time to be saved for is not unreasonable I don't feel

Yes. Roughly, they know I out earn DH, they probably don't know what he earns, he's more average. They know we had them young, that I have built my career up from a challenging spot and they are my biggest cheerleaders. We press on the importance of planning, being strategic and working hard so are quite frank about money, they have been witness to our progress over the years so we have been pretty open with them about it.

Why?
By all means discuss budgeting, the costs of living etc with the DCs but I see no reason whatsoever why my adult DCs need to know my income and I definitely have absolutely no reason to ask what there’s is!

That’s a needs must not a blanket ‘Let’s disclose everything’

I don’t think I knew how much my parents earned growing up. I had a rough idea of where we fell in the income spectrum, just from comparing the house we lived in, the cars and holidays we had to other people at school. I knew when it came to applying for student finance that I would only get the minimum loan.

My DS is only 6 and I certainly wouldn’t tell him how much I earn now as he’d tell everyone at school! When we bought a new sofa suite (c. £5k) he saw the price in the shop and didn’t stop going on about it! (“Omg! We have £5000? That’s so much money!”) Maybe when he’s older but I don’t think he needs to know specifics.

Yes, they know and they have known for a long time. For me money is just money and not something to be secretive about. My friends also know how much I earn, how much my flat cost, how much I have in my pension pot, and I know the same about them. I'm not British though so I didn't grow with money being a big secret.

DSs (6 and 10) know we’re’lucky’ and ‘earn good money’. They also know I earn more ever since the day that DS1 came home from Reception and announced the house was ‘more Daddy’s than Mummy’d because he pays for it!’…DH rapidly (and gently) set him straight whilst we raised our eyebrows et the thought that he’d picked that up from another 4 year old.

Absolutley - why enforce stereotypes that men have to earn the most? That's not healthy for you DD or DS

Good for them to learn but your job alone doesn't give them much context. When they are bigger, I'm more likely to tell them what an average teacher, nurse, doctor, trader etc gets paid than what I get paid.

I'd also try and teach about inflation, ie these numbers will get bigger when she is looking for work. So she might get paid the same as a teacher to work on a check out in 20 years. But it will buf less stuff

It's worth teaching. But knowing my salary.... It's kind of just a random number without context. I remember I knew a friend's dad's salary. It was 50k, a big number to me but I didn't understand it, it was in the 90s so probably worth a lot more than today. But even now, I don't know if that was very well paid or good without looking up how much salaries have inflated in 30 years.

My 6 year old DS has expressed an interest in our jobs and money, the things I've done is tell him why we need to work - to pay for the house, good, shoes, holidays. I've tried to give some context, so buying x item would take x time to earn the money. Or you can have x if you save pocket money for x weeks, so you have to think about whether you really want it, as another option is you could save a few more weeks and do/get x.
He also had a bee in his bonnet about us getting a new car, a land Rover specifically. I explained that most people pay hundreds of pounds a month to have that sort of car, whereas I paid a one off sum of a few hundred for my old banger. It does the same job and I would rather spend hard earned money on other things. That really sunk in- it blew his mind that two versions of 'a car' could cost so wildly different amounts.
When he talks about having a dog and a land Rover when he's older I explain he will need to earn enough to pay for those things, and it might mean he can't then have other things if those are his priorities. He is starting to understand, and I will keep adding context and more information as he gets older. Certainly wouldn't shy away from sharing our salaries

Yes of course. My 17 year old is trying to chose careers. It's important for her to know women can be successful.

Are you able to articulate why ?

So they understand about money and how far it goes; to explain about the salaries of different careers, to show what might seem a lot of money- say 20k a year -actually might not be, once you pay rent/mortgage and bills; to help them be involved in family life and not just assume that money is there or not there; to show what can and cannot be done on an average salary -eg, I earn national average, which is about 35k I think, and DH earns much less, but we live in London, so it doesn’t go as far but is doable. Even on MN, you read ridiculous things -“it’s impossible to live in London on x amount” or someone saying they are “average earners” when they earn twice the national average, etc. I point this out to them. I’ve heard young people say that £1,000 “isn’t very much” or “it’s only x amount”. I want to quash that. Sometimes we look at prices of flats as we go past and they ask how much would you have to earn to afford that, and I explain how it compares to what I earn. Eg, I live in a house, but many of my DC’s friends live in flats -and there’s a disconnect there.