Page 5 | Is 22 too old to attend a youth club?

CombatBarbie · 25/02/2023 09:56

In Scotland, our youth groups are up to age 21.

Guis · 25/02/2023 10:14

Yes. It is. But there is likely to be some places which do.
Does he have any interests ? He seems a little old to have mum trying to help him find friends I hope you don't mind me saying. Is there anything else we should know in order to help ?

ImissLemmings · 25/02/2023 10:15

He’s an adult, he can’t go to a kids’ group, that’s creepy as hell and such paedo type thing to do.

If he needs friends he should join adult groups.

Choconut · 25/02/2023 10:34

Does he have ASD? I could imagine still being this involved in ds's life when he's 22 as he does.
There are often walking and hiking groups around, if he enjoys that then it might be a good place for him to start.

dinmin · 25/02/2023 10:50

As others have said… just no. Bumble BFF?

CandyLeBonBon · 25/02/2023 11:01

Choconut · 25/02/2023 10:34

Does he have ASD? I could imagine still being this involved in ds's life when he's 22 as he does.
There are often walking and hiking groups around, if he enjoys that then it might be a good place for him to start.

Yep. My eldest is 21 and has adhd and asd and other diagnosed mental health conditions that render him pretty incapable of normal social function at the moment and sadly I'm very involved in support him in so many aspects of his life. I wish it wasn't the case but it is. Not sure if this is the case with OP, but it's not uncommon for young adults to still need a bit of parental support in the early years of their adulthood

Calphurnia88 · 25/02/2023 11:26

I went to a youth club when I was younger on a Friday night but it was mainly under 16s. Do they do them for older kids too?

He's not an older kid, he's a 22 year old man.

Suggest he finds a hobbie, plays a sport, joins a gym, joins a book club, assuming the library job is a volunteer gig then find a paid job (or alternative volunteer gig) with similarly aged people.

Politely, is there a reason you are orchestrating this on his behalf? Is he ND?

Original poster

AlePock · 25/02/2023 11:44

Good morning and thanks for the replies. He is low-support needs ASD but he has struggled with socialisation for his whole life. He has two friends, one of which is also ND and one is unemployed but they rarely see each other.

I will definitely look into getting him into local outdoors groups as he’s interested in walking and wildlife. Thank you for the links.

I am aware that Tinder is a dating site but I want him to have experience dating as well as friendships. He was briefly seeing a boy in 2018 (he’s bi) but they were both very young then so he has no adult experience with it.

OP posts:

RememberMarch · 25/02/2023 11:47

AlePock · 25/02/2023 11:44

Good morning and thanks for the replies. He is low-support needs ASD but he has struggled with socialisation for his whole life. He has two friends, one of which is also ND and one is unemployed but they rarely see each other.

I will definitely look into getting him into local outdoors groups as he’s interested in walking and wildlife. Thank you for the links.

I am aware that Tinder is a dating site but I want him to have experience dating as well as friendships. He was briefly seeing a boy in 2018 (he’s bi) but they were both very young then so he has no adult experience with it.

Ah thanks OP - this helps put it in context

QueSyrahSyrah · 25/02/2023 11:47

@AlePock I really think a part-time job in a place with people his own age would help enormously. If he could do shifts on a weekend I'm sure he'd be snapped up by a restaurant or bar; it doesn't have to be somewhere chaotic and loud if that might be too much for him.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 25/02/2023 11:52

Definitely point him at adult groups rather than ones for teenagers.

Does he have any interests that would bring him in touch with people his own age? Hiking and rambling groups are great, but they pull an older crowd. Does he like football, cycling, gaming, climbing, music, going to the gym, anything like that? Or would he like to take a part time course at a local college, mainly for the social aspect?

ItchyBillco · 25/02/2023 11:53

ImAGoodPerson · 25/02/2023 09:46

Weirdest post ever. I don't really understand the point of posting random stuff like this. What does it achieve?

God knows, beyond the humiliation/us feeling sorry for a 22 year old man who’s been labelled as ND, sad or a paedo, and who clearly has a horrendously over-involved mum.

Original poster

AlePock · 25/02/2023 12:02

@TheYearOfSmallThings It would mainly be for the social aspect. He has an interest in football but not as much as he used to.

OP posts:

MissMaple82 · 25/02/2023 12:05

What?! He needs to get down the local pub!

Calphurnia88 · 25/02/2023 12:07

@AlePock I would be slightly wary of Tinder. I do know of couples who met through Tinder, and did go on a few Tinder dates when I was single, but stopped because it made me feel a bit disposable (and I'm a fairly confident person).

ImAGoodPerson · 25/02/2023 12:09

ItchyBillco · 25/02/2023 11:53

God knows, beyond the humiliation/us feeling sorry for a 22 year old man who’s been labelled as ND, sad or a paedo, and who clearly has a horrendously over-involved mum.

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Context is everything, OP needed to have given a lot more info TBH!

ItsOKToFeelProud · 25/02/2023 12:17

Hes not an older adolescent!. Hes an adult. And unless additional needs. Its up to him to put himself out there.

At 22 its odd to be mummying him to the point of arranging his social life.

Maybe he's fine with few friends

ItsOKToFeelProud · 25/02/2023 12:19

Im sorry YOU want him to get into dating?
Surely it should be HE wants to!

Seriously take a step back. Actually a leap back.

Calphurnia88 · 25/02/2023 12:20

ImAGoodPerson · 25/02/2023 12:09

Context is everything, OP needed to have given a lot more info TBH!

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Agreed it would've been better to include this in the OP but it was pretty obvious.

gettingalifttothestation · 25/02/2023 12:22

If he was much older than the others it would be a safeguarding issue and would t be allowed.

Original poster

AlePock · 25/02/2023 12:31

@ItsOKToFeelProud He wants to date, it’s not me making all the decisions, I’m just trying to help as a mother.

OP posts:

MrsRandom123 · 25/02/2023 12:34

AlePock · 25/02/2023 03:24

By the sounds of it then they don’t do older adolescent youth clubs. I’ve tried Facebook groups but they don’t work. I could try getting him to join a hiking club as he likes walking.

He’s not an “older adolescent” though he is a grown man (at 22, i was engaged with a mortgage and a wedding booked!)

ImAGoodPerson · 25/02/2023 12:34

Calphurnia88 · 25/02/2023 12:20

Agreed it would've been better to include this in the OP but it was pretty obvious.

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On MN there are many a parent that treats their NT 20+ year olds like children so it really wouldn't surprise me on here though

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 25/02/2023 12:38

He needs a full time job, not a youth club!

Fernie6491 · 25/02/2023 12:52

@AlePock
My DH and I met at a club called 18plus. It was for people between the ages of 18 and about 30. We had a very large group of friends within it, and are still friends over 50 years later.
The club now exists as. www.plusgroups.org.uk/plus/ but there are far fewer than there used to be . Perhaps there is one close to you.
We did all sorts of activities, bowling, ice-skating, picnics, rambling, dances, short breaks, camping, talks from various interesting people. I can see the upper age limit is now 65, which seems a wide range, but it might be worth investigating.