Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Is 22 too old to attend a youth club?

166 replies

AlePock · 25/02/2023 02:53

I’m thinking of getting my 22 year old son to go to a youth club because he has few friends and he wants to make some new ones. I went to a youth club when I was younger on a Friday night but it was mainly under 16s. Do they do them for older kids too?

OP posts:
Donnashair · 25/02/2023 08:44

I suspect op is going drip feed about some sort of ND or mental health issues or developmental delay. Then talk about how everyone is ableist.

But as the mother of an ND son, even if there is something to be drip fed it’s still entirely inappropriate for a grown man to be hanging out anywhere targeted to adolescents.

He isn’t an older adolescent. He is a grown man.

It’s beyond inappropriate for a mother to be trying to show horn her adult child into groups aimed at youths. For both the adult child and the adolescents attending.

RememberMarch · 25/02/2023 08:46

Flesh · 25/02/2023 08:36

Not at all. Make sure you send him with a fruit shoot and a packet of wotsits to eat during the break.

Grin
RememberMarch · 25/02/2023 08:48

Ok I've laughed at some of the comments on here but I can relate OP cos my mother intervened in my social life at this age. It wasn't my social life that was causing problems though it was her dysfunction - alcohol etc. But of course she would've admit this

RememberMarch · 25/02/2023 08:48

Sorry for typos - wouldn't

RememberMarch · 25/02/2023 08:50

Flesh · 25/02/2023 08:36

Not at all. Make sure you send him with a fruit shoot and a packet of wotsits to eat during the break.

If he brings the sandwich box back with nothing eaten you must also express to friends/neighbours appropriate concern - "I'm worried he's not eating his food" etc

LakeTiticaca · 25/02/2023 08:53

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 25/02/2023 08:12

It sounds like the series with Ronny Corbet and his mother where he worked in a library. It was called, 'Sorry.'

I was just about to mention this.

" Language Timothy!!!!"
( when he said "bottom") 🤣🤣

Thelobsterisinthejar · 25/02/2023 08:55

ToLongToCharge · 25/02/2023 04:00

A adolescent youth club?????

His a man! Try the pub !

This

lap90 · 25/02/2023 08:57

Maybe some kind of meet ups... i know the likes of places like Reddit have ones for London.

Youth club is not the word - 22 is uni grad age. He should be using his initiative to sort it himself tbh.

MimiSunshine · 25/02/2023 09:00

Have a look for a local Young Farmers club.

you don’t actually have to be a young farmer to join.
See here

LovelyDaaling · 25/02/2023 09:01

He needs to look for a different job for starters, one with a larger workforce where there are younger people.

Where do the local twenty somethings go for a night out? He should be going there too. Does he have a friend who'd go with him?

RememberMarch · 25/02/2023 09:03

LovelyDaaling · 25/02/2023 09:01

He needs to look for a different job for starters, one with a larger workforce where there are younger people.

Where do the local twenty somethings go for a night out? He should be going there too. Does he have a friend who'd go with him?

I agree with the workforce thing. Personally I like work places with more people - if it's too small can feel 'claustrophobic l'

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 25/02/2023 09:07

Why are you getting involved in your adult sons social life?

Leave it to him

suzyscat · 25/02/2023 09:11

This is all meant gently, as I know someone of that age who seems to think it's everyone else's fault that their life isn't fun and is incapable of organising their own life.

I agree with pp that a youth club is very inappropriate. They need to find peers.

As their parent you obviously want to help them anyway you can but beyond sign posting things, the onus should be on the 22 year old to select and join up.

If your life is lonely or not fun it's up to you to make it happen. Fun and friends don't fall out of the sky and land in your lap. As an adult you are the architect of your own good time. Helping them learn how to do this independently is the best thing you can do for them.

It's a tricky balance, there are often valid reasons when someone has gotten to this age and not developed that level of independence. That doesn't really matter. What matters is where you go from here and how you facilitate their move into the world without them continuing to be dependent on you to organise their social life/ activities.

Good luck Flowers

eurochick · 25/02/2023 09:13

This thread is so cringy. The only "youth club" I was interested in at 22 was one with a banging dj set and cheap booze (disco biscuits optional).

Toddlerteaplease · 25/02/2023 09:19

What about a young adults group. We have one at my church. It's 18-35 ish. Mostly students but also some professionals.

gogohmm · 25/02/2023 09:22

Youth clubs end at 18, beyond that it's simply a social club. Would he join a club, society, sports club of some kind? I also recommend him joining meet up or similar on line as it's a good way to organise meeting new people. Volunteering is another option, are you near the sea? The young rnli volunteers here always look like they are having a great time in the pub.

fyn · 25/02/2023 09:27

Young Farmers is up until 26 from memory, I definitely went in my 20s! Don’t need to be a farmer to go and a lot of it isn’t about farming!

IJustHadToLookHavingReadTheBook · 25/02/2023 09:32

LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand · 25/02/2023 08:12

It sounds like the series with Ronny Corbet and his mother where he worked in a library. It was called, 'Sorry.'

Language Timothy!

KindergartenKop · 25/02/2023 09:35

Maybe he could start a group at his library for young adults wanting friends?

QueSyrahSyrah · 25/02/2023 09:40

Idlikeasize8please · 25/02/2023 04:53

If he is working Mon-Wed, he has loads of time on his hands. I worked extra hours in a busy bar at that age (he could do Thurs-Sat night? ). That's a good way of getting out without the pressure of going out. It'll help loads with social skills. There are loads of jobs out there.

I met my husband this way!

Came to say the same. I moved to a completely new place when I was 20 and my entire social circle stemmed from working in hospitality with people my own age.

He needs a part-time bar or restaurant job OP, he'll meet people through work, and more people through those people. Those kinds of jobs most often come with a built in social scene, which I don't imagine is a thing at the library.

3WildOnes · 25/02/2023 09:43

If he has additional needs lots of youth services go up to 25.

QueSyrahSyrah · 25/02/2023 09:44

Maybe some kind of meet ups... i know the likes of places like Reddit have ones for London.

Honestly as a young Man with few real-life friends / influences and seemingly not much luck with dating, Reddit is the LAST place he needs to be sniffing around.

ImAGoodPerson · 25/02/2023 09:46

Weirdest post ever. I don't really understand the point of posting random stuff like this. What does it achieve?

Beautiful3 · 25/02/2023 09:48

He is a grown man. Youth clubs are for the youths, under 16s. He could change his job for bar/cafe/shop work, where adults his age work?