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Original poster

Who gets to ‘see’ baby first after birth ?

96 replies

Ifyoudidnt · 18/02/2023 16:22

If you had to have a GA for c section birth did your dp/dh wait till you’d seen baby before sending photos / announcing birth ?

Am I being really precious about this ? I’ll have to have a GA and have said that I don’t want others to see baby until I have !! I don’t want to come across as unreasonable but I feel like it’s very important to me - there’s no choice over birth but there is choice over what happens after ?

OP posts:
Hidingawaytoday · 18/02/2023 16:27

Ha, I opened this thread expecting it to be about your MIL seeing the baby before your mum and was prepared to do a massive eye roll 😆

But in this case, I think you're absolutely not unreasonable to insist the baby isn't announced/pictures sent before you've seen/ held them!

KangarooKenny · 18/02/2023 16:27

Of course you see baby first. Absolutely insist on it.

MrsBunnyEars · 18/02/2023 16:27

Entirely agree with you! They’re your baby, and I entirely understand the emotional pull of wanting to be with / see them first.

I had a c section (but no GA) and I have some gorgeous pics of DH holding her immediately after birth. I am slightly jealous that he got the very first cuddle though - even though I know that’s irrational.

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Icecreamandapplepie · 18/02/2023 16:28

In this situation, you of course!

Ridiculous you have to ask. Is your partner really arguing this?

Notonthestairs · 18/02/2023 16:30

Good grief. Of course your DH should wait until you've had chance to come around and have a cuddle!

CandlelightGlow · 18/02/2023 16:30

I imagine that like a lot of posters this is the one situation where I would care or agree that one should care about "order" of seeing baby.

FT123456 · 18/02/2023 16:31

Not being unreasonable at all... of course you want you/your partner to see/hold the baby before everyone else. It's a very precious moment for you both.

IDontDrinkTea · 18/02/2023 16:31

This was the only thing I wrote on my birth plan. If I needed a GA, no one else got to see the baby before me

stayathomegardener · 18/02/2023 16:32

You!

HildasLostSock · 18/02/2023 16:32

I saw baby first having had emcs under ga, I think (not 100% sure) that dh didn't see baby before I did I think they kept baby with me. He wasn't allowed into the surgery/theatre but it was cat 1 which might have been why no time for him to scrub in. I would NOT have been happy if DH had announced much less posted photos before I saw the baby. Even a "straightforward" birth is an emotional roller coaster your wishes come first no question. Its YOUR baby absolutely you see them before anyone else (bar medical staff of course/those delivering your baby). Congratulations on your pregnancy, good luck for a straightforward delivery and put your foot down!

ConfusedNT · 18/02/2023 16:32

Absolutely you should get to see the baby before other relatives etc do, you just spent 9 months putting your health and wellbeing at risk to nuture that baby of course you aren't being unreasonable

Needmorelego · 18/02/2023 16:34

I didn't have my glasses on so I saw a blurry pink blob.

TheSnowyOwl · 18/02/2023 16:34

If I were you, given your DH won’t be allowed into theatre with you, I’d make sure the theatre team are fully aware that you are to see your baby first and (excluding a needed trip to NICU etc) ask them to ensure your baby stays with you and your DH isn’t allowed in until you are awake.

CandlelightGlow · 18/02/2023 16:35

TheSnowyOwl · 18/02/2023 16:34

If I were you, given your DH won’t be allowed into theatre with you, I’d make sure the theatre team are fully aware that you are to see your baby first and (excluding a needed trip to NICU etc) ask them to ensure your baby stays with you and your DH isn’t allowed in until you are awake.

This seems very extreme. Surely the DH should just agree about posting pictures of the baby on social media.

excelledyourself · 18/02/2023 16:35

Of course you get to see your baby before anyone else!

Please tell me your husband/partner isn't objecting to that?

bussteward · 18/02/2023 16:36

You. Absolutely you. It’s YOUR baby! You’re not being precious at all. I’ve got my newborn on my lap and just thinking of you, a complete stranger, not seeing your baby first has got my hormones ROARING to defend this need for you!

CandlelightGlow · 18/02/2023 16:36

We're also all assuming that it's the DH who is protesting, it could well be that it's family members that are the ones BU.

soboredtonight · 18/02/2023 16:36

If my dh wouldn't agree to that request he wouldn't be at the birth at all.

Gwen82 · 18/02/2023 16:36

By “there” are you including your DP??!

Gwen82 · 18/02/2023 16:36

“Others”

DesertRose64 · 18/02/2023 16:38

TheSnowyOwl · 18/02/2023 16:34

If I were you, given your DH won’t be allowed into theatre with you, I’d make sure the theatre team are fully aware that you are to see your baby first and (excluding a needed trip to NICU etc) ask them to ensure your baby stays with you and your DH isn’t allowed in until you are awake.

But why can’t the father hold the baby, skin on skin even, till mum is able to. Surely he’d be at the birth anyway of it wasn’t going to be a c-section and that would mean him seeing the babysat the same time as mummy.

Gwen82 · 18/02/2023 16:38

You’d rather your partner didn’t post etc u til you’d woken from GA

Good heavens - totally reasonable if you and very concerning if your “d”p thinks otherwise

plumduck · 18/02/2023 16:38

If you want to wait until you've seen your baby your DH should absolutely respect this

Sober23 · 18/02/2023 16:38

How come you need a GA and not just an awake CS?

Gwen82 · 18/02/2023 16:39

I’m intrigued you’ll need a GA?

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