Who gets to ‘see’ baby first after birth ?

[Ifyoudidnt]

If you had to have a GA for c section birth did your dp/dh wait till you’d seen baby before sending photos / announcing birth ?

Am I being really precious about this ? I’ll have to have a GA and have said that I don’t want others to see baby until I have !! I don’t want to come across as unreasonable but I feel like it’s very important to me - there’s no choice over birth but there is choice over what happens after ?

I would want to see my baby before photos are taken and shared, absolutely! If my husband was not in agreement about it I would make sure he wasn’t at the hospital and I’m not joking.

It was not something we talked about before my EMCS under GA, but dh waited until I was awake as he didnt want go see ds in SCBU without me/wanted us to see him together. As soon as I woke up I sent him off with a flea in his ear to see him, worried ds was in there all alone!

Photos to others, honestly, in the grand scheme of things it wouldnt bother me, but if it does you then your wishes should be respected for a few hours.

I had an emergency C section and my son was taken away to special baby unit. Que an excited new dad and mother'n'law coming back to see me saying they had had a lovely cuddle. My hubby did not understand that maybe I would have liked to cuddle my son first before my m'n'law after carrying him around and my stomach being ripped open for an emergency C section? Lucky we had twins so at least I got to hold my daughter before my m'n'law!

Urmmmm having a baby is between you and your partner....family and friends and if you're one of those who want to post on social media can be made aware and see pictures AFTER you have BOTH had time with your new baby in that order. You've got enough to deal with I can't believe this is even up for debate with your partner.

I think DH seeing the baby first is fine.

I think him announcing the baby’s been born and you’re both ok is fine.

It’s not fine for him to send photos when you’ve not even had a look yet.

Like most things in life, there is a compromise to be made here.

I'd agree a message in advance that he can send straight after the birth. Something like "Baby born at [time]. [Name] and baby doing OK so far." Just so everyone knows that hopefully things have gone OK.

Then he should wait until you're awake to announce the name and send any photos.

Not arguing but when I said he looked at me like I had two heads and raised his eyebrows like I was being strange about it ??!!

Oh i don’t mind this at all I just wanted him to hold baby, take photos for me to see as I’ll miss that first bit but just to wait to send them to anyone else till I’ve actually woken up!!!!

No, I agree, if that is what you want, then your DP should accept it

Previous back surgery and can’t have a spinal

Out of interest, do you know what you are having? As to me that also makes a big difference. If you are going for a surprise, I would want that surprise before others found out.

That’s absolutely normal and understandable. There’s no hurry or need for him to send the photos out while you’re still under; he needs to think about you and the baby first, his phone second.

Quite apart from whether you are awake or not, I personally would be shocked at the thought that husband would be posting pics on social media rather than cuddling his precious newborn.
When ours were born we spent at least the first hour admiring them and interacting with them, took a few pics but definitely no posting.
Only after about an hour did we call our parents to announce the birth, we loved being in our little bubble.
And as for posting, that only happened the next day.

"i don’t mind this at all I just wanted him to hold baby, take photos for me to see as I’ll miss that first bit but just to wait to send them to anyone else till I’ve actually woken up!!!!*

You are being perfectly reasonable. Of course you will want to see and hold your baby before sending photos to other people.

DH should get to see the baby immediately, not least so the baby gets to be with a parent.

But no one else should get to see photographs or even hear announcements until you've met your baby.

Seriously? Whichever parent is able to hold baby should see it first but no announcement or pics until both have seen and held. You do realise baby wouldn't be there without dad surely?

My sister delivered her baby via GA XMCS due to blood clotting disorder. Baby went to her for skin ti skin straight after delivery. Midwife held baby there. Then to dad for skin ti skin once out of theatre. Sister came found quickly.

Should absolutely be you before any announcement. Good luck

I was pretty sure it’s not what you meant but another poster brought it up and frankly I couldn’t believe what I was reading hence asking my question.

all the best to you OP. 💐

I don't see the issue with the DH holding baby first? My DH held DD and did skin-to-skin with her because I couldn't hold her for the first hour due to reaction to anaesthetic - surely someone needs to hold baby straight after birth? And I don't imagine there'll be a spare midwife available to do it!!!
As for photos... YANBU, none sent until you see baby yourself - that's a no brainer

Oh how lovely 🥰

Completely agree he should not share any photos until you have come round.

Even the most basic traditional announcement would include: DBaby arrived at 1pm on date. Mother and baby tired but doing well so far. Or Mother was amazing or some such.

If things are any more complicated I fully expect a more significant wait for any announcement and would think it odd if this didn’t happen.

He should absolutely wait to see how you are before making an announcement. And of course you should see baby first before pictures are shared.

I can’t believe this has come up but as it has make wishes clear!

Me too hahahahaha
agree, you see first then announce the happy news after.

YANBU
I know it is a little different as I was awake. However, I wasn’t ready to hold dd for almost 2 hours after she was born as the birth was really tough going and pretty traumatic. I was awake and was shown her but was struggling to be interested and refused to hold her more than once. I needed that time to detox from the entonox - I’d been on it for 12 hours, episiotomy, stitches etc and needed time to recover from the shock of the whole birth experience including the ambulance to hospital. I wouldn’t have wanted pictures sent out from the birthing suite.

Oh 100% you DH a dick. Of course you get to fucking meet your baby before he tells anyone else. He needs to give his head a wobble. I’d tell all the nurses and midwives who’d listen what he was planing and it’s important to you

I didn't meet my daughter for 3 days after she was born due to complications (with me).

Whilst my DH announced the birth etc all photos were held till I met my DD.