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Original poster

I don't really like going out in the evening- is it just me?

76 replies

mamalove1986 · 18/02/2023 15:21

I have three children, 4.5yo and under.

Tonight I have a night out with 5 of my school friends. We're all married, kids etc, so we're all in the same boat of routine, young children etc.

I just can't be bothered. I never can. I would much rather curl up on the sofa with a movie, scrolling Mumsnet, a glass of red, no make up on.

It won't be a late one because I'll drive and I'll go because I know when I'm there it'll be fine. But that said if anyone cancelled I'd be delighted!

Do I need to lighten up. Is this normal!?

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 18/02/2023 15:23

Even if you didn't have three young children (which must be exhausting in and of itself!), I think this is totally normal. I always secretly hope social events will be cancelled even if I enjoy them when I'm there. I've always been like this but it's been worse post-lockdowns because I realised how nice it is to just be at home.

BigFatLiar · 18/02/2023 15:23

Nope. We're a lot older and while we enjoy our friends we're quite happy sitting at home. Why not? It's home, where we're comfy and content.

Pushkinia · 18/02/2023 15:25

I’m the same and thought I was just anti social. I’m at work all day. Curling up on the sofa in the evening is much more appealing than getting dressed up and going out.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 18/02/2023 15:26

You're asking Mumsnet.

89% of respondents will tell you that they hate going out in the evening.

DosCervezas · 18/02/2023 15:32

Nobody likes going out nowadays. A person's social needs can easily be met sitting on your sofa in your pyjamas. That's why all the pubs have closed.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/02/2023 15:35

It’s totally normal with young kids.

But it’s important to keep up friendships for now and later, so get yourself out there.

I think socialising is a bit like going to the gym or having a sex life, you don’t always feel like it but you feel better when you do it.

MargaritaRita · 18/02/2023 15:38

It depends on a lot of things, kids, work pressures, tiredness, personality type and so on.

It has been said that a good number of people who use boards and forums are introverts. I would consider myself one of that clan. I dislike big crowds, small talk, excessive noise and so on. But if the meet up is important to anyone I know I will make the effort, and often enjoy it, but am bloody glad to get home too!

Nowadays it is more a case of lunch with friends on Saturdays. That suits everyone mostly so we can get home, take the glad rags and the make up off and cabbage on the sofa for the night.

Everyone is different, but often the effort required (not to mention the costs these days) are just beyond many people.

GlassBunion · 18/02/2023 15:53

I'm happy to meet up for lunch/brunch/afternoon tea with friends or a cup of tea and a catch up at someone's house/ my house but I've stopped going out in the evenings.

I can't stand busy, noisy places anymore and don't even like going out to dinner in the evenings anymore.

MissingMoominMamma · 18/02/2023 15:56

I’d rather go out for breakfast tbh. I’m usually in bed by 9.

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 18/02/2023 15:57

Much prefer to meet for breakfast, coffee or lunch. Really try to avoid evenings where possible

LadyKenya · 18/02/2023 16:00

I do my socialising by day. I have for years now, unless I am going to the cinema. It works for me.

SplinteredRuler · 18/02/2023 16:01

I enjoy going to the gym/yoga in the evening but the thought of making myself look presentable, getting changed and going out on a cold dark night always fills me with dread until I’m there.

Nynynyny2018 · 18/02/2023 16:07

Only enjoy if I know I can have a lie in . Definitely would rather not bother if I can’t have a few drinks if my friends are indulging.
I very rarely went out went the kids were young for that reason!

Rainbowclimbinghigh · 18/02/2023 16:08

Oh, I'm completely the same. Absolutely hate going out in the evening... I dread it, rather than it be something to look forward to. Though tbh it started even before kids, would much prefer going out for lunch even in my early 30s. I only really enjoyed it in my 20s when I drank much more!

Original poster
mamalove1986 · 18/02/2023 16:15

Can relate to everything above. So glad it's not just me. Ditto re lockdown I loved it. I've had a kids party today, my 2 year old has been horrendous. My husband doesn't get home until 7:15 tonight so the thought of feeding them all, battling with bedtime so they don't have a late night whilst getting myself glammed up beforehand and doing a runner the minute he gets in just fills me with dread.

OP posts:
BounceyB · 18/02/2023 16:18

I'm in my late 40s, divorced and both kids in secondary. Once a week is my limit. When my kids were young once a month was all I could manage.

KangarooKenny · 18/02/2023 16:23

I’ve stopped drinking since peri hit, so I’ve no desire to go out at night. I don’t want to start getting dressed up to go out, I want a bath and PJ’s.

Sep200024 · 18/02/2023 16:23

I suppose you are asking a cohort of people who are sat at home with time on their hands to chat on forums.

Most of the sociable and busy people are not on here!

Beezknees · 18/02/2023 16:24

I don't like going out in the evening. I love going out for breakfast, brunch or lunch, or early doors drinks. But I like to be home before 8! I'm a morning person and would rather get an early night.

SybilWrites · 18/02/2023 16:27

Mumsnet is such a strange place! I don't know anyone who doesn't like going out in the evening. It's so lovely to get out and have a laugh with friends.

Even when I had very young children, I used to love a night out.

Springintoabetterlife · 18/02/2023 16:28

I cba to go out tonight. Last week I was happy to go out but I’ve just washed my hair and now I want to put on PJs and go to bed. I’m not feeling physically or mentally my best today, I have no idea what to wear and now it’s raining.

saveforthat · 18/02/2023 16:29

DosCervezas · 18/02/2023 15:32

Nobody likes going out nowadays. A person's social needs can easily be met sitting on your sofa in your pyjamas. That's why all the pubs have closed.

How sad but true is this post. I love going out in the evening. Always have, always will. Theatre follwed by dinner or vice versa being my favourite.

Beezknees · 18/02/2023 16:31

SybilWrites · 18/02/2023 16:27

Mumsnet is such a strange place! I don't know anyone who doesn't like going out in the evening. It's so lovely to get out and have a laugh with friends.

Even when I had very young children, I used to love a night out.

I love going out, but in the daytime! I've been out for lunch and shopping today, now I'm on my way home.

DrNo007 · 18/02/2023 16:32

I do my socialising in the daytime and only have meals out at lunchtime. Both I and DH hate going out in the evening. It livens us up too much and then we don’t sleep—but still have to get up in the morning.

Hardbackwriter · 18/02/2023 16:34

For me going out in the evening is like exercising - I never really fancy it just before I go, but once I'm actually out the door and doing it I'm always so glad I did.