Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

"Checking in" with the kids before I go to sleep.

195 replies

gemloving · 16/02/2023 22:16

I don't even know if this is unusual but I just went upstairs to get ready for bed but I check on the kids every time before I go to sleep. It's become such an embedded routine that I find it hard to settle if I didn't or if I forgot, I'd lie there, get up and check on them, then I can go to sleep peacefully as if I know everything is ok.

My eldest gets a couple of kisses and I tell him I love him, youngest gets a stroke over his head and me telling him I love him (he's still in a cot, otherwise he'd get a kiss too). They're 4 & 1 (almost 2).

Do other parents do this or is this just me?

OP posts:
Charleymouse · 17/02/2023 15:02

Absolutely, I always check in even if it's just a knock on the door when I pass when I'm on my way to bed.

Varies from a "night night, love you" through the door to tucking them in with a kiss cuddle hug and a squeeze and a round as the moon.
No stories anymore though.

They are currently aged 18, 15 and 13.

It's one of my fondest memories of my Dad tucking me into bed as a kid and telling me he loved me, night night and God bless. He's been dead for 19 years and when I tuck my kids in I always reminds me of him.

I think it's an important night time ritual. For the kids and for me. Going to sleep knowing you are loved is a precious thing. Even if they are asleep they can still hear.

ImAvingOops · 17/02/2023 15:23

I text mine to check they're still alive and they are 26 and 22! Sometimes I check dd (15) is still breathing! I sound nuts typing that out - I think it stems from when DS was a baby and we nearly lost him.

FredPolice · 17/02/2023 15:24

I still do this with mine when they're at home from university, and they are 18 and 20.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
hot2trotter · 17/02/2023 20:46

I always pop my head in the door to check on them before I go to sleep. I thought it was a normal thing to do.

celticprincess · 17/02/2023 20:47

10 year old in loft bed so can’t really see unless I climb up and that makes a racket. 13 year old falls asleep with door open so I usually stick my head in to check she’s asleep then pull the door half closed. When they were smaller and in beds I could see into I usually did. When they were much younger they slept like logs and I’d go and put their washing away and they wouldn’t wake!!

Strawberrycream1 · 17/02/2023 21:56

Yes, she’s 8 and I have to check on her before I go to bed and I pop in or listen to hear her breathing if I get up in the night too

MenopausalMayhemMum · 17/02/2023 21:59

I checked in with my biggest before I went to bed (if she was in) until she moved out a couple of years ago

Houseofboys22 · 17/02/2023 21:59

Absolutely, mine are 23 & 17 and still check on them before I go to bed (even though they are usually up for hours after me)! Wouldn't do if there were girlfriends etc round, but when it's just our wee family they get checked on.

HerculesMulligan · 17/02/2023 22:00

Every single night. And if I'm ill or away and can't do it, DH (who normally doesn't) will do it and report back, because he knows I can't settle until I've checked on them. I usually try to lightly touch a bit of their skin - a foot or hand - and have picked up an unexpected fever that way more than once.

Cococomellonn · 17/02/2023 22:01

It's not weird at all. 1 is v young!

Rockingcloggs · 17/02/2023 22:04

Mines 11 and me and my husband both troop in to give him a kiss when we go to bed!

I remember being about 9 or 10 and pretending to be asleep, I knew someone came in and they gave me a kiss and told me they loved me.... to my surprise it wasn't my mum or dad but my 13 year old sister! I still cherish that memory!

NoodleDoodleDo · 17/02/2023 22:29

I check on DS9 every night. If I forget and get into bed, I have to get back out of bed and go into his room.

Olaftree · 17/02/2023 22:40

No, I don’t do this. Maybe it’s weird. They are 7 and 5, the 1 year old is in my room so no need too. 7 year old is a light sleeper so I hatee being the tooth fairy etc 🤣
I also feel guilt that I don’t but I don’t (& probably won’t now!)

NoodleDoodleDo · 17/02/2023 22:43

Our Ddog used to come in with me every night too. He'd go up to his bed, have a sniff of DS and then walk out.

If I'd gone in and out while DDog was still downstairs, he would then stand at DS door until I opened it so he could go in and check on him too. 😢 We lost Ddog last Summer

RuthW · 17/02/2023 22:46

Yes I check on mine in the morning as she goes to bed later than me. She's 26.

Johnnysgirl · 17/02/2023 22:51

NoodleDoodleDo · 17/02/2023 22:43

Our Ddog used to come in with me every night too. He'd go up to his bed, have a sniff of DS and then walk out.

If I'd gone in and out while DDog was still downstairs, he would then stand at DS door until I opened it so he could go in and check on him too. 😢 We lost Ddog last Summer

So cute... Sorry he's gone Flowers

KC0408 · 17/02/2023 22:54

I still check on mine, they are 12 and 8.

A couple of years ago there was a case of sudden death while sleeping in a boy just a bit older than my son but with a lot of similarities (sporty etc) I’ve always checked on them before but that made me make sure I always do it

Pinkbananas01 · 17/02/2023 22:57

Lol mine are all teens & I still go & check on them before I go to bed, usually they are up later than me!

MrsRosieBrew · 17/02/2023 23:02

Always have and still do (16 and 18 now!). Both occasionally have their girlfriends here, in which case I don’t enter the bedroom but say goodnight from the hallway. I often leave for work very early in the morning and I still pop in on them on then, too (not always the eldest but still the youngest). They check in on me, too nowadays! When my eldest comes in from the pub he often pops in to sit on my bed, say goodnight and fill me in on his evening. We have some lovely conversations then.

MrsRandom123 · 17/02/2023 23:02

I still do this…my oldest is nearly 13 & sometimes i’m going to bed before she does but i always stick my head in & fix covers etc if need be & whisper “love you” before i can settle but then my mum always checked on me too

user50and · 17/02/2023 23:18

I still do this with my 14 and 18 year olds

workworkworkugh · 17/02/2023 23:25

I still check on mine, they're 18, 14 & 11.
I don't always check in on the 18yo but he's usually still awake when I go to bed so will go in and have a chat a couple times a week.

JibbaJam · 17/02/2023 23:27

I do this too. DS has so much energy during the day his face is usually a bit of a blur 🤣

It's lovely to gaze at his little squishy peaceful face for a moment, and it's one of my favourite parts of my routine.

Dancingqueenwannabe · 17/02/2023 23:37

Always, can't sleep if I don't xx

crimsonpeak · 17/02/2023 23:43

Always.