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"Checking in" with the kids before I go to sleep.

195 replies

gemloving · 16/02/2023 22:16

I don't even know if this is unusual but I just went upstairs to get ready for bed but I check on the kids every time before I go to sleep. It's become such an embedded routine that I find it hard to settle if I didn't or if I forgot, I'd lie there, get up and check on them, then I can go to sleep peacefully as if I know everything is ok.

My eldest gets a couple of kisses and I tell him I love him, youngest gets a stroke over his head and me telling him I love him (he's still in a cot, otherwise he'd get a kiss too). They're 4 & 1 (almost 2).

Do other parents do this or is this just me?

OP posts:
Picklewicklepickle · 17/02/2023 06:20

Every night, hold their hand or strike their head, they’re 6 and 2, they look like perfect angels when they’re asleep!

Ratatatatatouille · 17/02/2023 06:38

Yes! My children are much older than yours.

Zigazagah · 17/02/2023 06:47

Still look in on mine who are older teenagers!

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EasilyDirected · 17/02/2023 06:48

No, never have (older teens now). When they were little I used to pause by their doors to check I could hear breathing but never went in, I'd never disturb a sleeping child. My parents never did this either, I liked my privacy. They've always been excellent sleepers and I've never needed to turn off devices or similar either.

ginsparkles · 17/02/2023 06:54

I still do this. I also do it if I have woken in the middle of the night. I can't sleep until I have checked that everyone is ok.

gemloving · 17/02/2023 08:00

@EasilyDirected I don't disturb their sleep. They are fast asleep, don't even twitch. I don't worry about their breathing, it's not about that.

OP posts:
EasilyDirected · 17/02/2023 08:09

Oh, that's the only reason I would have thought to do it, I'm genuinely surprised so many do this especially for older children. Doesn't the door opening and shutting disturb them?

SallyWD · 17/02/2023 08:18

I don't do this but many people do. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me because I just don't feel the need! I did when they were babies but now they're 12 and 10 and I really don't believe anything would happen to them when they're sleeping soundly in bed.

mondaytosunday · 17/02/2023 08:22

Oh definitely at that age! My son has left home and is 19 and I don't sleep well unless he's texted a goodnight!
I always feel better knowing my kids are ok. In fact, I remember when younger (but not a child) feeling more secure when parents, my sisters and I were all under the same roof!

HerbalTeaAndCake · 17/02/2023 08:27

Of course parents do this. What a bizarre question.

cocksstrideintheevening · 17/02/2023 08:31

Dts are 11, I always check on them
Before I go to bed

EmptyPlaces · 17/02/2023 08:37

I do, but my eldest two (16/14) are often still awake when I go up to bed around 9:30pm/10pm, and sometimes still downstairs!

I sit in bed and knit with an audiobook or Podcast for an hour and even then they’re still usually awake/just drifting off.

Around half the time, one or the other will come and sit on my bed with me; either quietly with their head on my shoulder or they’ll want to discuss something private. This is my new “tucking them in before they sleep”.

DD3 is 7 so she still gets tucked in again when I go up, and I wonder how much longer I’ll get to do that for.

Flounder2022 · 17/02/2023 08:38

gemloving · 16/02/2023 22:16

I don't even know if this is unusual but I just went upstairs to get ready for bed but I check on the kids every time before I go to sleep. It's become such an embedded routine that I find it hard to settle if I didn't or if I forgot, I'd lie there, get up and check on them, then I can go to sleep peacefully as if I know everything is ok.

My eldest gets a couple of kisses and I tell him I love him, youngest gets a stroke over his head and me telling him I love him (he's still in a cot, otherwise he'd get a kiss too). They're 4 & 1 (almost 2).

Do other parents do this or is this just me?

I don't because I have to stay with him till he falls asleep so it's never that long before I go to bed myself .

But my dad used to come in from work late and he always did it and it's one of my most precious memories now he's gone. As I got older I loved being awake when he popped his head in.

DanceMonkey19 · 17/02/2023 08:42

LoveHeartsFan · 17/02/2023 00:00

Whenever I stayed over at my late Dad’s he’d check in on me to say night-night. He did this until shortly before he died in his late 90s. It became increasingly important to us both - without ever saying anything - to say ‘night-night and love you’ in his last few years.

It’s among my most precious memories of him - shuffling in in his old-fashioned PJs, dressing-gown and slippers. He’d tell me not to read too long! 😂

How lovely 🥰. What a lovely relationship you had with your df ❤️

HeidiWhole · 17/02/2023 08:43

The eldest (19) comes to check on us Grin
Younger one (nearly 15) still gets quick check and sometimes asks to be tucked in.

Nowthatlovehasperished · 17/02/2023 08:44

Yep, I have teenagers and still look in on them before I go up. They are more often than not still awake though.

HoboHotel · 17/02/2023 08:46

No. Mine are pre teens and I usually collapse around the same time as them.

roundofapplause · 17/02/2023 08:46

11 and 8 and I still do 💗

Pea1985 · 17/02/2023 08:48

Yep mine are 5 and 7 and I still check them before I go to bed! If their covers are off I tuck them back in.

lovemypuppa · 17/02/2023 08:54

My mum still did this when I was a teenager. Used to drive me insane 😆

Nanatokidsdogshampsters · 17/02/2023 08:58

Both DH and I always checked our children before we went to bed, when they got to the age of having a closed door we knocked and said goodnight.
They both do it to their children.
And when our grandchildren stay we do it to them.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 17/02/2023 08:58

I always did. And I've always assumed that every parent did this!

Beachbreak2411 · 17/02/2023 09:01

surely everyone does? My daughter is 12 and I check on her before I go to bed always; and if I get up for the loo in the night I check on her again before I go back to bed!

shieldmaiden7 · 17/02/2023 09:04

I used to do this but stopped when they became teens and were still awake when I was heading to bed. We just say good night for the second time and I tell them I love them and that I'll see them in the morning.

OrangeToothbrush · 17/02/2023 09:10

Yes I do. It's the sweetest thing. Even if they've been a handful in the day, seeing them asleep and cosy like little cherubs still gives me butterflies!

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