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Original poster

"Checking in" with the kids before I go to sleep.

195 replies

gemloving · 16/02/2023 22:16

I don't even know if this is unusual but I just went upstairs to get ready for bed but I check on the kids every time before I go to sleep. It's become such an embedded routine that I find it hard to settle if I didn't or if I forgot, I'd lie there, get up and check on them, then I can go to sleep peacefully as if I know everything is ok.

My eldest gets a couple of kisses and I tell him I love him, youngest gets a stroke over his head and me telling him I love him (he's still in a cot, otherwise he'd get a kiss too). They're 4 & 1 (almost 2).

Do other parents do this or is this just me?

OP posts:
staciea31 · 16/02/2023 23:31

My mum still does this when I stay over and im 32 she will come give me a kiss and my chihuahua a kiss also and say nanny loves you to the dog haha it’s just being a mum ❤️ Xxx

Beginningless · 16/02/2023 23:31

Don’t worry, @Apollonia1 , mine were v light sleepers when younger but have gotten deeper with age and now have been known to sleep through a burglar alarm going off which was deafening.

Funny to open this thread as I just went to check on my 7yr old on my way to bed and met her coming out of her room naked on way for a pee! Onesie was too hot apparently.

anomaly23 · 16/02/2023 23:32

I check on mine and they're 11lbs 4

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anomaly23 · 16/02/2023 23:32

11 and 4

staciea31 · 16/02/2023 23:33

Also my little brother is 12 and when he stays with me I go in to give him a hug and say night love you xx

Bemyclementine · 16/02/2023 23:35

I've just come to bed (after watching the last episode of Happy Valley!) . I've been into my Dcs room (they share a room) , turned off nightlights, tucked in, (dc2 had no covers on at al6) kissed their heads,stroked their hair told them I love them. They're 6 and 7

CatnaryReturns · 16/02/2023 23:36

Of course. Mine is 6. I go in to check him and lay out his clothes for the next morning on his chair.

Interesting that you said you'd "actually stopped using a camera" for your 4 year-old, as if that was something unusual. I thought most people stopped cameras/monitors around 2.5 or so. I do take the odd phone pic if he's sleeping in a funny position, so I can show him in the morning!

MrsMoastyToasty · 16/02/2023 23:39

I still check on DS 16. He would still be awake at 4am if I didn't check in on him.

A former colleague had a son (15) who went to sleep one night and died in his sleep. No previous medical conditions, no carbon monoxide poisoning or overdose. Just died.

That's why I always check.

Gingersay · 16/02/2023 23:39

If I don't check mine I can't get to sleep, they are 13 and 11 they usually ask me to fix their covers which I just give a wee shake.

PinkButtercups · 16/02/2023 23:41

Yep! Always go in and give kisses and tell them I love them to infinity and beyond. It's just something we say to each other.
DS is 3.5 and my youngest are twins who are 10 weeks who come to bed when I do but I still do the same to them as I do with DS.

My mum always did when we were at home.
Something she does now which makes me chuckle is if the weather is icy or foggy she texts us all in the morning like some sort of weather woman.

If it's icy it's 'Becareful icy out there' so I reply, 'thanks wish you text me earlier I've slipped on the ice now and accidentally submitted my application to dancing on ice, I'm not ready!'

My favourite a couple of days ago was 'really foggy, be careful' so I replied 'thanks for the late warning mum! I tried to cross the road but couldn't see and ended up walking into the sea but luckily a boat saw me and pressed their fog horn'. Makes me chuckle.

gogohmm · 16/02/2023 23:41

No but my two were quite likely to have tucked themselves into my bed before I went to bed (they went to bed in their beds!

DancyNancy · 16/02/2023 23:52

Yup, every night to my 3. A kiss and pat and a whispered 'love you my sweetheart'.

Feel very uncomfortable/uneasy if I don't. All under 11 but not babies. Just habit as you say.
The days are so manic and chaotic it flies by. I love that bedtime moment, it's so peaceful and probably the time I most consistently feel a bursting heart of love, I get to notice that moment and appreciate my babies are all safe and sound.

GimmeBiscuits · 16/02/2023 23:54

I've only just stopped doing this as actively with DC as they sleep so badly. Last night I checked in and turned off a light. That woke them up.😥

LadyJ2023 · 16/02/2023 23:55

Always we have a 13 year old a nearly 2 boy twins 1 year and we always peek in and put blankets back on etc and I always say i love you and kiss them lightly. Even my hubby when he comes to bed sneaks in and I hear him whisper love you to them all

ItsRainingCatsAndDogsAgain · 16/02/2023 23:57

I've always done this. Even the one who has recently gone off to uni gets a 'goodnight, we love you' text. I sometimes get a reply straight back, sometimes not. I'm starting to worry less if I don't get a reply. I try to remind myself that young adults are entitled to a life after all, and it doesn't mean anything untoward has happened to them. I was once woken up several hours later by a 'goodnight Mum, I love you' reply at 4am.

strawberryandcreams · 16/02/2023 23:59

Always have. Always will. Currently 9 and 7

LoveHeartsFan · 17/02/2023 00:00

Whenever I stayed over at my late Dad’s he’d check in on me to say night-night. He did this until shortly before he died in his late 90s. It became increasingly important to us both - without ever saying anything - to say ‘night-night and love you’ in his last few years.

It’s among my most precious memories of him - shuffling in in his old-fashioned PJs, dressing-gown and slippers. He’d tell me not to read too long! 😂

CharChar91 · 17/02/2023 00:00

Every single night 🥰 mine are 4 and 5. I always give them kisses, make sure they're tucked up, check their temperatures and say 'goodnight my baby'. I hadn't really thought about it until this thread, it's just a part of my routine along with turning the lights off, brushing my teeth etc.

Mañanarama · 17/02/2023 00:03

I still do and they’re teenagers

AlwaysLatte · 17/02/2023 00:04

I check in too and they're 15 and 12!

daisydalrymple · 17/02/2023 00:05

I have 3 sleepless wonders. DH always went in to them, after I’d spent my whole evening up and down the stairs just settling/ resettling them. I’d be so stressed thinking “just leave them be! If they wake now it’s me that will have to resettle AGAIN!” But now that they’re 15, 13 and 8, I go in every night. Kiss them, say night night, tell them I love them.
if I have an early night, the older two come into me. Kiss me, say night night, tell me they love me 🥰

Easternext · 17/02/2023 00:17

Yes not so much kiss an whispers in there ear but always pop my head in there rooms check all is ok they are 15 an 7.

Emelene · 17/02/2023 00:21

I do this for my little one (2) as he tends to kick off the covers and wake cold but my older one (4) is quite a light sleeper and if I check on her she has a good chance of waking! So only check on her if shes poorly!

CeriB82 · 17/02/2023 05:44

Mine are 20/19/14. I still check in and kiss goodnight.

im asleep well before them though

MiddleParking · 17/02/2023 06:11

If I could I’d set up a five-mile exclusion zone round my 16 month old’s room rather than risk a noise near him once he’s asleep (we still have a monitor for him though). I sometimes pop my head in on the three year old but all the ‘goodnight, I love you’ bits are when I put her to bed. I’ll check on her after that if DH has —been allowed to— put her to bed.

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