Board and lodging. 23 at home; £27k pay?

[Fordian]

DS is in his first job post Uni, earning £27k. He owns a car to get to work.

We are DH and I in a 4 BR house, which we own, Hampshire.

I buy all the food, do most of the cooking tho he'll help prep, do the dishwasher. He'll hang washing and take it back in, will vacuum (if asked).

How much board and lodging would you charge, ooi?

If you can afford it then take a third and save it for him and then when he buys a house give it back as a gift/deposit.

My eldest ds earns 22k and I charge him and his gf ( who also lives with us ) £50 per month each only because he is rubbish with money. They buy their own food and are barely in. Ds2 earns 25k and I don't charge him anything because he is saving like mad for a house deposit. He is very good with money so I won't charge him anything whilst I know he is savings so hard. Two other younger dc's at home and no mortgage.

I reckon I could afford to be terrible with money if I only had to pay £50 a month for housing costs too 😄

DD is a similar age, with a slightly lower income. We are charging £350pm.

We came to this sum by estimating what she costs us in extra money (probably around £150 for food/electricity/heating), then adding on a share of other bills - council tax, broadband, horse (she rides the horse at weekends), petrol etc.

We don't need the money, and would perhaps have charged only for direct costs, but her sister earns a pittance and lives away, so has to pay all her own expenses. The discrepancy was making me uncomfortable, especially as the DD at home is unlikely to move out any time soon.

I'm hoping we can help both of them out in the future if/when they buy a flat, or have other large expenses.

My 20yr old it’s £500pcm and he earns just over £15k
Im a single parent and can’t afford to support him for free - and this is less than he would pay in a shared house - so he pays it to live with me instead as he gets more for his money !

He is working 80/90 hour weeks for a pittance to try to get a very niche career off the ground. He also pays £350 a month in petrol just to get to work. maybe I am too soft but I do feel a bit sorry for him.

And like I said previously, him and his gf share our downstairs front room, it's not even a proper bedroom and they are barely home. I don't need their money and the mortgage is paid off .

I’d ask for £800/month and then save half for him for a deposit and put the rest to energy, council tax, food etc

I'd ask for a third of his take home pay - £600. He'd still have about a grand left after he's paid for petrol and minimum student loan repayments.

Crikey, his employers are taking the piss! No wonder he's never home.

We don't take anything. They are all sensible and saving hard for deposits. It seems infantilising to take it, to "save it for them".

It depends on so many things. Your financial circumstances, their age, salary, degree of responsibility etc. At 27, with a good salary, I 'd put it at half the local going rate for the type of accommodation you are providing for them. Up to you if you save any surplus to fund their moving out fund!

We take £400 a month but our DS is earning a higher salary (home temporarily whilst he relocates) this contributes to the mortgage, council tax and household bills. He has an electric car which he charges here, and mainly does his own shopping although we shop for each other too. He was previously paying just over £1000 in rent but is very careful with money so has saved loads. When he was starting out after his degree and earning a smaller salary he gave us £200 monthly.

I'd agree, but I'm not 'saving' (£90 pw) for him; it's a straight forward transaction. He earns £27k pa, he pays his way at home!

I disagree with the concept that if you can afford to, don't charge them. It comes from an increasingly tenuous mindset that 'the children of the relatively well-off will be well-off themselves, regardless of achievement and circumstance, because that is the world order'- well, it isn't, any more!

And they need to know that.

Thanks for posting this question.

My two adult kids are paid £30k pa by my company - they both have specific jobs. I mentioned 'keep' to one of them and tgey went a bit nuts asking me to not be one of 'those parents'. My intention was to save it for them - I set up LISAs for them both so the money can go into the LISA. I haven't pushed it yet, but was thinking of splitting the £4k max into 12 months, so £333pcm. I think it's reasonable for them. For your DS, OP, I'd pitch slightly lower at £275.

@Fordian I am a financial adviser. I think you're doing the right thing by charging him. Part of our jobs as parents is to educate our children, which includes on the cost of living.