Board and lodging. 23 at home; £27k pay?

[Fordian]

DS is in his first job post Uni, earning £27k. He owns a car to get to work.

We are DH and I in a 4 BR house, which we own, Hampshire.

I buy all the food, do most of the cooking tho he'll help prep, do the dishwasher. He'll hang washing and take it back in, will vacuum (if asked).

How much board and lodging would you charge, ooi?

Nothing, unless you need it. He can then save for an apartment deposit.

Because most who are subject to the order need to do exactly that once their child turns 18. Most can't magically conjure up hald the equity they owe their ex, hence why the order was put in place originally.

As always these discussions fill up with those totally unable to grasp that, for many, a child reaching adulthood can be financially crippling and they actually need the contribution of their working adult child in order to keep a family home running.

You said you don't know a single person that downsizes once their child hits 18. I gave a relevant reason why many people need to do this (whether you know them or not).

I don't understand why that makes me dim.

The term mansplaining can really only be used for men.

Nothing, if you don’t need it. His home

It’s really quite appalling. The complete lack of understanding of the reality of how many people have to make choices is just go smacking at times.

Actually no I really believe it’s just shit stirring arseholes.

what about the fact that these kids only exist due to their parents wants, and as such owe them nothing?

£300-400 a month which is about half what they’d pay for a room in a flat share excluding bills round here.

Where does that end though? The parents should provide everything for the child that they created until when....? I don't think that's a very healthy dynamic for anyone.

You giving me a reason why people may need to downsize when a child needs to downsize really wasn’t required 😂😂 I’m more than aware of financial orders upon divorce that require the same. Doesn’t stop my personal experience being what it is. I disagree, explaining a simple point in a patronising way is still mansplaining even if done by a woman.

My original point stands UNLESS you were going to immediately downsize soon as your child turns 18 your heating, internet etc remains the same so why you would need so much from your child to cover it is beyond me.

Are we seriously back to only the rich should have children again?

You giving me a reason why people may need to downsize when a child needs to downsize really wasn’t required 😂

I can't work out what you're talking about.

We charged DD 20% of anything brought in, including UC when she was on that.

You giving me a reason why people may need to downsize when a child reaches 18 really wasn’t required 😂😂

should have said… really wasn’t difficult to work out…..

@kitcat15

'Beezknees
Some people, like myself get Universal Credit as we are single parents on low pay. When my DC turns 18 I will lose my UC, so absolutely he will be contributing towards bills if he wants to live at home. If he wasn't living at home, I would downsize to a cheaper property with one bedroom.

What about when your kids and future grandkids come to stay?'

Wtf?

My DS is 21 and earns 25k in theory we don’t need anything but he pays £50 PW. He will get a decent amount from us for a deposit, he is saving and he has no idea that we are helping.

With his eventual deposit.

It is if you're dim.

Maybe 100pw and put 50 away to save for him
Does he buy any food maybe get him to do weekly shop once a month see how he can budget that.
If your struggling sit down with him and go through all the outgoings some don't understand how much it cost to live.
Mortgage/Rent
Student loan
Electricity/Gas/oil
Shopping Food and essentials
Telephone
Car fuel/tax/insurance
Council Tax
Life Insurance for family
All the above cost me an average of 800pw
If you add in any treats like meals out holiday doesn't be long adding up

The way I did it was to work out their fair share of monthly bills, excluding rent/mortgage and use that as a starting point. Don't faff about working out who has the longest showers or who eats the most, just divide the bills by the number of adults.

Exclude rent/mortgage because these costs don't change whether they're living at home or not, and because if the worst happened and they ended up on benefits, they would not be able to claim housing costs while living with their mum.

If you're wealthy you can charge less or nothing at all or put it all in a savings account for them. If you're not wealthy you should not be out of pocket if they fly back home.

If your adult child is earning a good wage then there's no reason they can't cover all of their costs while living at home. If they are on shit wages and/or dependent on UC then they might need subsidising but only if you can afford it.

No, but I think you can encourage them to seek independence etc through good parenting. Not asking for money you don’t need. They don’t owe you anything really.

I am wondering what people are spending their money on. Without rent, which is a temporary expense. My household expenditure is about £850 per month and the biggest amount is around £350-£450 per month for electric. In summer it was under £100

1/3 of £27000 after tax would almost pay all my household expenses.

Our ds 23 started his 1st job last yr & earns 25k. We decided to charge him £300/month as that is what we worked out roughly it would cost us for him to move back home. He instantly agreed to it as he knows how much it costs to live away. £300 for his bedroom, own bathroom, meals, Netflix, Wi-Fi, electricity… he’s very happy. Obviously not all of our bills will increase but he understands this. I’d love to be able to save it for a surprise deposit for him but unfortunately our bills need paying!