Board and lodging. 23 at home; £27k pay?

[Fordian]

DS is in his first job post Uni, earning £27k. He owns a car to get to work.

We are DH and I in a 4 BR house, which we own, Hampshire.

I buy all the food, do most of the cooking tho he'll help prep, do the dishwasher. He'll hang washing and take it back in, will vacuum (if asked).

How much board and lodging would you charge, ooi?

about £100-£200 a month to save for them and give it back towards a house deposit when they move out.

The reality is having an extra adult living in the house doesn’t really add that much expense other than additional food.

Also I think people need to remember how much easier the previous generation had it. Houses are a lot more expensive these days (stating the obvious I know) so don’t use that as an opportunity to rinse your kids out of money as getting on the property ladder is so much harder now.

£0.

We are in the same boat. We charge my DD nothing because she is saving for her future.

If the parents are renting they could downsize without the adult child there. So under those circumstances I can see parents charging for the rent element. Also if the DC was a PITA making mess, noise levels, waking parents up coming in late etc. If someone is annoying, has a job and you'd rather they weren't there, I can see the argument for charging rent while they are there. Even if that person is your own adult DC.

So that's my answer OP. If you don't need the money, it depends how much you like him and having him around.

I think the massive assumption here is it's 'money you don't need'. It's an ever decreasing pool of households that this applies to. I suspect many households rub along for years stretching the budget and just about staying afloat. In those circumstances it is totally fair to ask a working adult to contribute to the household, regardless of their relationship to you. I don't think any parent should feel ashamed of asking.

Very few people have rent or mortgage payments of under £400. Yours is not representative of average household expenditure.

For me it depended on how he manages his finances. If he was putting lots of his savings aside for a house/the future then I would not charge him anything. If he wasn’t saving then I’d charge him maybe 400 a month, possibly with some going to a saving account for him.

This.

Dd pays her share of the food and gas & electric bills.
All other bills remain the same whether she's here or living elsewhere!

For us, nothing.
All three of my adult DC have come home again for a time after uni, travelling, between courses or jobs... and we've charged them nothing. I love it when they're back!
They have always been saving when they stayed at home, so not having bills means they are ready more quickly to move on with their next plan.
I realise not everyone can afford this.

Same situation although we always give them one year free after completing education to save/travel/whatever. Then £300 a month covers all food utilities etc.
I don't agree with saving it and returning it, it smacks of 'generously' gifting them their own money after pretending you needed it, like you don't trust them to save. I'm using it to pay the extra utility bills and any extra (ha!) will go to the mortgage or savings.

0 but at 23 and post uni I would be expecting him to make plans and sort moving out in the near future.

Yes but living in a house where some of the adults are scraping by to keep the roof over everyone's heads while another adult has a lot of disposable income to spend on themselves doesn't lead to a harmonious household.

Where do you draw the line? What if the adult child ends up out earning you, has no plans to leave home anytime soon (and let's face it, with free lodgings and a full salary to piss up the wall why would they?), stays for 10+ years? Are posters seriously suggesting the parent should pay for everything just because it's their child?

OP, for me I think £300 is reasonable. It teaches them some money management and if you don't need all of it, you can always save a bit for their future move.

A lot of people here who can afford to let their DC stay at home for free but that doesn't mean everybody can. If you're dependant on UC or child maintenance then once they are at work it's not unreasonable to make them chip in. I paid my DP's a £100 a month thirty years ago and I was glad to do it knowing it helped.
I'm sure it's nice to be able to help your adult DC but please don't shame the people who really can't.

I think this may have seemed mean-spirited to me years ago when it was the norm for kids to ship-out once they had a stable income.

But I can see that this needs to be given more thought now that some adult children see living at home as a long term living arrangement and I think their contribution to the home should be more substantial - and adult.

I'm a good way from this situation yet but I liked the pp's solution for a years grace following uni and then reasonable housekeeping costs. So, I'm probably going to nick that, thanks.

You just have to do what's right in your personal circumstances. Obviously many families will be grateful for an extra income into the home. I certainly felt proud to support my mum and make life a bit easier for her.

With our children, I hope that we can afford to choose to charge them rent and if so, it will be to support them moving out. I have no intention of making home a long-term alternative to independent living elsewhere.

Well, I'm charging him £90pw which he's happy with. He doesn't have expensive hobbies and doesn't drink much; and visited our financial advisor last week so I think he's considering his future!

I let him have the summer, post uni, off because I knew he'd get a job easily with his degree; he started paying as soon as he started earning.

And he's effectively getting an all-expenses paid holiday this coming week driving with DH to retrieve our other DC from a EU university...😄

That is expenses without mortgage or rent.
And if you have adult children then you must be on your way to having low mortgage costs

If you have a mortgage. Some of us rent and can't afford to buy!

My kids DT’s 16, & DD 18 study full time and all have casual jobs. They devised this plan together when they all started working (all within a month or two of each other).

They choose to pay us 30% of their wage, plus they have chores to do because that is a normal part of contributing to running a household. They can earn extra money for doing other chores as well if they wish, but that is not expected or demanded. The chores they do are on a rotating list and it teaches them responsibility, accountability, cooperation, organization and negation skills. At their age, they are also expected to do all their own laundry. (Because my DB was 46 and still bringing his home when my mum died and claimed that he “didn’t know how to use the machine” and thought I would take on this task - one which his WIFE had clearly refused to take on.)
Anyhow, the money that my kids give us is split into two accounts each. One they can access when they want to leave home and the other is for a deposit for a car or a house, whichever they want.
The rest of their money is spent on birthday presents for friends, non-school clothes, entertainment, etc.
They can dip into the “Leaving Home Account” if they want or need a new device like a phone or laptop (not covered by school here). Only one has made use of that option because he broke his phone.
The eldest is going to contributing to her part of the family mobile phone plan now she has finished school and the twins will when they finish school too.

You could still have 20+ years on your mortgage. You may have had to buy out an ex and have a huge mortgage. Or you might have been paying interest only while earnings were unreliable.

I think a lot in the situation depends on the dynamic.
If the DC is saving really hard for themselves helpful round the house and generally not taking the piss I'd be inclined to charge less.
If the DC is literally wasting their whole salary is lazy and not helpful I would be inclined to charge more save some for a rental deposit and then once enough is saved say they need to move out.

My son gives me 250 a month. That covers my food cause without it I simply wouldn't eat as my money doesn't stretch to cover the luxury of eating. I think he takes home about 450/500 a week.

nothing, but we share the shopping

Over twnety years agi when I graduated, my dad was on a low income and couldn't really afford to support me at university but the offer he made was I could go home and live for free over the summer to pay off my overdraft.

That was a great offer as I went home the summer I graduated and worked like a demon to pay off my overdraft and save up to move to London in the autumn and rent in a houseshare to look for graduate jobs.

I am not sure what his attitude would have been if I had got a permanent job in the local area and stayed living at home

Nothing as I’d rather they saved their money.