Farting when you're the only one in the room (lighthearted)

[WorldsStupidestBottomBurp]

NC for this 😁longstanding member though and this is pure lighthearted curiosity as I suddenly wondered whether I am 'normal' in this regard.

If you need to fart when you're alone (and there's no possibility of someone coming in and smelling it - and, importantly, you're sure you're not going to follow through) do you bother going to the bathroom to do it, or do you just do it right where you are?

I know it's a batshit and completely unimportant question, it's just something I've always been really curious about! (For the record, I leave the room if other people are around, unless I'm certain it's going to be completely silent and odour-free, but if I'm by myself I just fart in place, so to speak. 😄)

I promise I'm not a fart troll, if that's even a thing.

I fart where I am
I make my own special creations
I don’t give a damn
Who hears the noise
Or feels vibrations

It’s my arse that I want to have a little pride in
My arse that I don’t need the gas to hide in
Life’s not worth a damn till you can parp out
I fart where I am

I fart where I am
I don’t want praise, I don’t want pity
I’m proud of my bum
Though it’s quite loud
And smells kinda shitty
So what if I love each trumpet and each toot?
Why not try to hear them as a bum salute?

Life’s not worth a damn
Till you can parp out
I fart where I am!

Only if I did a lot of farting and it was very smelly would I rush to the loo...just in case!

What do you do if it's in the shower? Stick your arse outside the curtain?

I always fart where I am if alone, and enjoy the sound and smell 😆

Never ever fart infront of anyone else and hate it being done around me, thankfully don't know anyone who does. Brothers used to do it as teens and thats about it. It's gross.

@MuseThrower you've just made my day, thank you! 😂Awesome.

Fully tiled bathroom, great acoustics. Just make sure the window is closed in case the neighbours are in their garden 🤣🤣

Oh my, this thread is killing me 🤣🤣

Why would you go into another room if you are alone?!?!
That's hilarious OP 🤣🤣🤣
Who are you trying not to offend? YOURSELF?! 🤣🤣🤣

Fair comment, I have no idea really why I thought other people might do that, when I don't myself. 🤣

I guess I just struggle to picture people I perceive to be more serious-minded and grown-up than me farting at all really. 🤣🤣 This thread's definitely shown me that I'm not the only one who's a big kid about these things, though. 🤣🤣

Taking yourself off to a different room to fart, in order to avoid offending yourself, reminds me of the old joke about the man sitting in the town centre, sometimes laughing uproariously, sometimes shaking his head and sighing.

Somebody asked what he was doing and he replied that he was telling himself some really great funny jokes, hence the laughter. When asked why the head-shaking and sighing, his reply: "Oh, those are the ones I've heard before!"

@WorldsStupidestBottomBurp Farting is the great leveller isn't it, even the queen will have let out some trumpety stonkers.

even the queen will have let out some trumpety stonkers.

Didn't Philip famously drop one on the balcony once and cause hilarity to ensue amongst the younger royals?!

I agree with you, though: however posh, elegant or 'proper' somebody is, it still doesn't make them immune from releasing the noxious bum gas on a regular basis!

As the old joke goes (how I wish it actually happened), the Queen puffs out a lengthy stinker and blames the servant, saying "Jeeves, please stop that!" To which Jeeves replies "I'll certainly try, Ma'am - which way did it go?!"

😂

You need one of these suits that contain farts; it's much more considerate to other people who may come into the room after you.

Imagine the reverb for each little tommy squeaker though!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Just stay well away from any pins or other sharp objects once you've filled it - otherwise, you're going to wipe out the whole neighbourhood in one smell fell swoop

Why do farts smell? So the deaf can enjoy them as well!😂

Major lols

I knew an outfit as stupid as that had to serve some practical function... 😂

BRILLIANT ! 😂

Where I am of course if alone

I still can’t decide whether I prefer a good satisfying ‘Loud and Proud’ with optional cocked leg or a ‘Silent but Violent’. It’s a tough choice, give me KFC and mine stink 😆

Omg never mind fart I just wet myself 🤣🤣🤣