Farting when you're the only one in the room (lighthearted)

[WorldsStupidestBottomBurp]

NC for this 😁longstanding member though and this is pure lighthearted curiosity as I suddenly wondered whether I am 'normal' in this regard.

If you need to fart when you're alone (and there's no possibility of someone coming in and smelling it - and, importantly, you're sure you're not going to follow through) do you bother going to the bathroom to do it, or do you just do it right where you are?

I know it's a batshit and completely unimportant question, it's just something I've always been really curious about! (For the record, I leave the room if other people are around, unless I'm certain it's going to be completely silent and odour-free, but if I'm by myself I just fart in place, so to speak. 😄)

I promise I'm not a fart troll, if that's even a thing.

This “friend” of yours

was she 8 years old???

love Fact you felt you had to clarify in the title that it is “lighthearted”

Not light-farted, though - that frequently ends in disaster....

Many years ago when I had my own office, I let a particularly pungent one rip. Literally a few seconds later a colleague walked into my office. How she kept a straight face I don't know cos the smell was appalling and it had obviously come from me!

My ex husband will never let me forget that I did this once in a toy shop and glared at the nearest child 😂😂😂

I get friends and/or their husbands/offspring to pull my finger and let rip.

Teenage boys find a 50+ woman farting terrifying, they run out of the room every time they fall for it.

I don’t think they find the farting terrifying

more the 50 plus woman asking someone to pull her finger to fart!

Along with 'A bit more choke and that would have started' comment?

Alone = let it rip.
Any one else vaguely near = exercise some class and decorum....

@Ursula82 we were about 12 I think and had read about spontaneous combustion in the Marvels and Mysteries of the Unexplained book

I didn't want anyone to mix it up with the 'deadly serious' farting thread I'm going to post later. 😂

Earlier I remembered yet another reason I absolutely love that I wfh now: farting in the toilet at work and being faced with the choice of either A: being trapped in there until the room's completely empty, by which time you've taken so long everyone in the office assumes you were doing a poo, or B: brazening it out and walking nonchalantly from the cubicle only to come face to face with a silent queue of women all with deliberately blank faces. The struggle is real. 😂

Oh aren't you just the daring one!!!🤣

Fwiw I generally fart wherever I am, if I'm with people I tend to hold it in. I fart on my own even if unmuted on conference calls. Bloody hell you'd really have to let rip for the mic to pick up a fart!

Aha haha I've not heard the choke part before but I'm definitely going to use it 🤣🤣🤣
(I do exercise class and decorum, honest. Just not when there's a big one brewing and I'm near people I've known since primary school/birth, and they're as windy as me).

I don't know what crop dusting is, but I think I can guess!

Free farters in this house too! In fact DH and I often congratulate each other on a good performance.

It's like smuggling ducks, only without the stairs.

I'm even more confused, but my imagination is going bonkers...

I’m guessing a lot of quacking with each step 😂

I can never hear this song without automatically changing the title word to 'crop duster' throughout

Right were I am unless in the shower

Oh good lord this thread has given me the laugh I so desperately needed after a shitty few days at work. I can genuinely say I am crying with laughter and if the fun police turn up to accuse us of childishness then sod them.

’Mute and toot’ together with cropdusting were almost more than I could bear but “A bit more choke and that would have started” and congratulating each other on your performance have left me gasping for air 😂😂😂

Chapeau, everyone. 💨

Oh and in answer to your original question, absolutely not unless I’m at work. At home there is something really quite satisfying about farting on the sofa - it seems to add bass and amplify a noisy trump.

Right were I am unless in the shower

Ooh, they always stink far, far worse when unfettered by clothes - even just the tiny little bubbly ones.

Just make sure they don't accidentally turn into something more significant and leave you having to furiously waffle-stomp!

I was in a work car the other day and had a farting session. I blame the lentil soup / super heated seats I did think it was actually a treat to be able to sit and fart when normally I’m surrounded by colleagues/ kids. They were of the loud and proud variety.

I let rip without a second thought. I work from home but am in the office once a month and often worry I forget where I am!!

I'll toot where I am if I'm alone. I've even been known to cock a leg to make it as loud as possible.

I was in a completely empty, vast tourist car park in Cornwall recently, I bent down to read the small print parking charges on the sign (being off season) and as I did so let out the most enormous knicker-ripper. ‘Better out than in’ I thought as I turned round, and there was a silent woman politely waiting behind me 🫢

If she is a mumsnetter and reading this - my apologies. I blame perimenopause and a vegetarian diet. (And quite frankly, I don’t really care who hears me fart these days…)

Since I started menopause, if I went to the bathroom every time I needed to let rip, I’d have to set the telly up in there.