Farting when you're the only one in the room (lighthearted)

[WorldsStupidestBottomBurp]

NC for this 😁longstanding member though and this is pure lighthearted curiosity as I suddenly wondered whether I am 'normal' in this regard.

If you need to fart when you're alone (and there's no possibility of someone coming in and smelling it - and, importantly, you're sure you're not going to follow through) do you bother going to the bathroom to do it, or do you just do it right where you are?

I know it's a batshit and completely unimportant question, it's just something I've always been really curious about! (For the record, I leave the room if other people are around, unless I'm certain it's going to be completely silent and odour-free, but if I'm by myself I just fart in place, so to speak. 😄)

I promise I'm not a fart troll, if that's even a thing.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crop%20dusting

Nah just let it rip !! Bonus if DP is in the room 😆 I often fart walk as well when out and about, but always check nobody is walking behind me 🤣🤣

Hands down the best part of home working!

I am now going to Google crop dusting 😱

I can't even imagine the most of Hyacinth Buckets of Margo Ledbetters being quite so proper that they'd take themselves off to the bathroom to fart when alone in an empty house.

What would be the point in going in another room? You’d be the only person there too!

I once needed to fart while shopping, so I toodled off down an empty aisle and pretending to be engrossed by batteries, let rip. It was not silent but also extremely deadly and I was so glad of the relief. I then stepped back and nearly fell over a small child (not mine) who had followed me for some reason and had been standing face level with my arse and thus received the full force, noise and aroma combined.

I legged it.

He's probably still in counselling.

Yes, I remember a post here on Mumsnet about that! 😂

Being able to let out big farts when needed is one of the peak luxuries of alone time. I would never deprive myself of this by scurrying off to the bathroom 😂

I agree, my IBS was terrible when I first went back into the office!

The trouble is at home I let one go on my own in a room but then someone else walks in and gets a lungful.

My DM once found me by my fart in John Lewis.

Department stores and libraries always set me off. Sorry, everyone.

Once, years ago, before dh got to the bottom (as it were 😂) of his multiple food allergies, we were out Christmas shopping and he let out the most disgusting silent but deadly fart and then ran off to another aisle and left me with it. A woman walked into the aisle, immediately got a nose full and actually gagged, the worst thing was, she probably thought it was me!

A friend of mine had a theory that holding in a fart was the cause of spontaneous human combustion until I pointed out that all the supposed cases have been alone when they combusted so why would they be holding it in?!

That's what I was thinking. I've never done that in my life, alone, accompanied or with a full brass band marching past.

Let wind be free wherever you be!

Arf at 'mute and toot'

Isn't it a MN thing that you must get in the car and drive three counties away rather than blow off in front of your spouse? Otherwise, it's THE sign that mutual disrespect has fully set in and the beginning of the end of your marriage.

In the real world, though, you just unleash the beast and let everybody enjoy it/gag and complain/pretend to gag and complain but secretly enjoy it.

A friend of mine had a theory that holding in a fart was the cause of spontaneous human combustion until I pointed out that all the supposed cases have been alone when they combusted so why would they be holding it in?!

Fair point😂

I dunno really why I wondered if other people went to the bathroom to do it, when I don't myself. 😄I suppose because I'm a bit of an overgrown kid in some regards, despite being in my 50s, and somehow can't imagine people with serious important jobs letting rip at their desks or wherever. 😄 It's heartening to hear that they presumably do (and it's probably going to make me extra suspicious of people when they mute in Zoom calls! 😄)

A friend of mine had a theory that holding in a fart was the cause of spontaneous human combustion until I pointed out that all the supposed cases have been alone when they combusted so why would they be holding it in?!

I remember reading a few years ago about a man who was found dead in his flat - it was in Germany iirc. His landlord broke in when the rent wasn't being paid and he couldn't get in touch. The conclusion was that he had a very 'rich' and 'productive' diet and never opened the windows - and he'd basically trumped himself to death

I read that as faINting when you're the only one in the room, and was thinking how that was light hearted. (Off to book an eye test!).

I bet the people who insist on going to the bathroom to fart are the same ones who are horrified that somebody (least of all a tradesman) would ever do a poo in such a grossly inappropriate place as a toilet.

I read that as faINting when you're the only one in the room, and was thinking how that was light hearted.

Depends how potent your personal gas is.

One of the many reasons it’s great to have a dog.

@StaceySolomonSwash - OMG, this has made me laugh so much! Thank you for brightening up a bleak afternoon!

A friend of mine had a theory that holding in a fart was the cause of spontaneous human combustion until I pointed out that all the supposed cases have been alone when they combusted so why would they be holding it in?!

Maybe they were the ones who DO try to run to the bathroom, and couldn't get there in time.

I wouldn’t go to the bathroom especially to fart. It’s right opposite the neighbours front door and the carport in between acts like an amplifier.

Maybe they were the ones who DO try to run to the bathroom, and couldn't get there in time.

That would make a fantastic retro computer game!

love Fact you felt you had to clarify in the title that it is “lighthearted” 😂