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Original poster

Farting when you're the only one in the room (lighthearted)

123 replies

WorldsStupidestBottomBurp · 09/02/2023 13:43

NC for this 😁longstanding member though and this is pure lighthearted curiosity as I suddenly wondered whether I am 'normal' in this regard.

If you need to fart when you're alone (and there's no possibility of someone coming in and smelling it - and, importantly, you're sure you're not going to follow through) do you bother going to the bathroom to do it, or do you just do it right where you are?

I know it's a batshit and completely unimportant question, it's just something I've always been really curious about! (For the record, I leave the room if other people are around, unless I'm certain it's going to be completely silent and odour-free, but if I'm by myself I just fart in place, so to speak. 😄)

I promise I'm not a fart troll, if that's even a thing.

OP posts:
MuseThrower · 09/02/2023 20:35

Somethingsnappy · 09/02/2023 18:34

I don't know what crop dusting is, but I think I can guess!

Free farters in this house too! In fact DH and I often congratulate each other on a good performance.

I high-fived DH yesterday morning.

AcrossthePond55 · 09/02/2023 20:40

I run outside, lick my finger to test the wind direction, then let 'er rip downwind. I'm in the country so no worries about near neighbours.

No, seriously, I channel my inner Elsa and "Let It Blow Go!".

But the bigger, purely rhetorical, question is....do you stink yourself out of the room?

Peckhaminn · 09/02/2023 20:46

My god I am wetting myself. I tell you what, I once farted whilst on a sunbed with the fans on full blast. Got a right mouthful of my own poo particles! It was absolutely rotten.

LadyJ2023 · 09/02/2023 20:47

My family is odd fart wherever then blame whoever 🤣🤣

torquewench · 09/02/2023 20:49

dubyalass · 09/02/2023 20:21

Oh and in answer to your original question, absolutely not unless I’m at work. At home there is something really quite satisfying about farting on the sofa - it seems to add bass and amplify a noisy trump.

A leather sofa is excellent for reverb 👌

MissingMoominMamma · 09/02/2023 20:50

KangarooKenny · 09/02/2023 13:53

Go to the bathroom to fart ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Do you get out of bed to go to the bathroom to fart too ?

Where’s the fun in that? 😂

Tellmeimcrazy · 09/02/2023 20:56

I do it and actually it doesn't matter whether I'm alone or not.

Soubriquet · 09/02/2023 20:58

I fart where I am.

I do remember my dh coming home rather green one day as dd let off a fart so noxious, she cleared the shop. She was only around 4 at the time but still Grin

Caramelsmadfuzzytail · 09/02/2023 21:02

I fart wherever I happen to be. Been known to nearly choke to death due to deadly ones, although NOTHING is as potent as when my cat farts.
My ds17 also occasionally sets off a fart app on my alexa and we laugh like drains.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/02/2023 21:06

My DU once started an actual bar brawl when he blew off a silent but violent, whilst sitting quietly on his own in the corner of the pub. Two groups of lads copped a whiff of the nasty noxious stink and then started literally fighting when each group angrily accused the other of doing it and, of course, each group furiously denied it.

The lads all got thrown out of the pub and my DU leisurely finished his pint before leaving and making his merry way back home!

Soubriquet · 09/02/2023 21:10

Pubs are the worse places for silent but violent gas. I reckon it’s the alcohol

WeWereInParis · 09/02/2023 21:13

WorldsStupidestBottomBurp · 09/02/2023 13:56

Speaking of Zoom, I also sometimes wonder if people excuse themselves if they need to fart in a Zoom call, or whether it's a case of 'mute and toot', so to speak - I did this once and I can't believe I'm the only one. 😄

(I promise I do sometimes think of other things besides other people's fart etiquette... 😂)

Why would anyone excuse themselves from a zoom call??

SantaBakula · 09/02/2023 21:33

Earlier this week I was suffering from very painful trapped wind , so much so it made me sick twice.
But after eating lots of ginger I have been farming like a trouper all day , I have never heard of crop dusting but I have definitely been doing it all day and by God some stunk .

Do you all remember comics like dandy and beno when a character threw a stink bomb or farted and green tinge appeared behind/ near them ?
Well thats been me all day !

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 09/02/2023 22:04

The conclusion was that he had a very 'rich' and 'productive' diet and never opened the windows - and he'd basically trumped himself to death

I shouldn't laugh. But I laughed.

WedonttalkaboutMaureen · 09/02/2023 22:08

MuseThrower · 09/02/2023 20:34

Since I started menopause, if I went to the bathroom every time I needed to let rip, I’d have to set the telly up in there.

Proper lol

Original poster
WorldsStupidestBottomBurp · 09/02/2023 22:12

I fart where I am.

I wish I could write parody lyrics as this sentence is positively crying out for a rehash of the Gloria Gaynor classic... 😄

OP posts:
skingraft · 09/02/2023 22:16

Soubriquet · 09/02/2023 21:10

Pubs are the worse places for silent but violent gas. I reckon it’s the alcohol

Crowded dance floors always smell like fart 🤮

IDontWantToBeAPie · 09/02/2023 22:45

Why would you go from one room where you are alone to another room where you will be alone to do something that doesn't leave anything physical behind?

What would be the point?

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/02/2023 22:48

Crowded dance floors always smell like fart

I'm going to need to get my ears checked out - I could have sworn that the original lyrics were "Guilty feet have got no rhythm"!

Original poster
WorldsStupidestBottomBurp · 09/02/2023 22:55

AcrossthePond55 · 09/02/2023 20:40

I run outside, lick my finger to test the wind direction, then let 'er rip downwind. I'm in the country so no worries about near neighbours.

No, seriously, I channel my inner Elsa and "Let It Blow Go!".

But the bigger, purely rhetorical, question is....do you stink yourself out of the room?

'Inner Elsa' reminded me of this little YouTube gem:

OP posts:
Hopeforrainbows · 09/02/2023 22:59

species5618 · 09/02/2023 20:26

I'll toot where I am if I'm alone. I've even been known to cock a leg to make it as loud as possible.

Laughing so much 😂😂😂😂😂

HelloVeritas · 09/02/2023 23:07

I fart where I stand. I love farting.

DH and I still get the giggles when one of us farts - we're old enough to know better middle aged and both hold VERY professional and serious jobs.

PerilousCorridor · 09/02/2023 23:52

What are you all eating to make you this windy??? I’m feeling slightly left out!

MajesticWhine · 10/02/2023 00:01

I hate when you do this alone at work and then someone comes to speak to you two seconds later. Mortifying.

AcrossthePond55 · 10/02/2023 01:56

WorldsStupidestBottomBurp · 09/02/2023 22:55

'Inner Elsa' reminded me of this little YouTube gem:

Show quote history

I now have an official fart song to sing as an overture. Thank you!!!

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