Strange things you thought as a child

[rallyingaround]

I used to think there was 100 pennies squashed up into a pound.

If you wanted a baby, you got a baby making kit from Halfords (pink for girls, blue for boys obvs).

That the music on the radio was all being played live

I thought the black market was an actual physical market with stalls selling guns and drugs instead of fruit and clothing!

That everybody had a maternal gran and grandad and a paternal grandma (no grandad) because that's what I had. Lol.

That there was a monster under my bed that would get me if my foot dropped out of the covers.

Cash machines worked by having a person inside pushing money out.

The fact that it was called a cash machine clearly didn’t make me realise I was wrong.

Oh and that my parents would live for ever. Cried a lot when I first realised that wasn't the case.

That people on tv could see you

That Scottish was a foreign language and it was all the same words as English but they had different meanings such as on meaning off etc

My first teacher had the same second name as me so I thought she was my auntie.
Also went to a Catholic school and our priest would visit us weekly. I went home and told my mum the teachers daddy likes to visit us because she says good morning Father when he arrives.
I used to think this lovely wee man had loads of children.

When we had a fire drill at primary school I used to think the school had some workmen in drilling a hole with a really dangerous drill that spat fire from the drill bit...

I thought all men had a birthmark on their neck because my brother and my grandad both had one there!

You had to go to a shop to make a baby and pick all the body parts, then it would magically end up in you belly to grow??? (Wtf)

If you wanted to be famous, you had to go on Big Brother.

You could only see Whales if you went to Wales.

There's probably more so I'll keep thinking. I was weird.

I thought germs emerged from your fingers when you went to the toilet and wondered for many years at what point in the process they actually started to appear.

That babies came out of belly buttons

That there were actual people living in our telly performing just for us (believed this up until the age of 6 at least).

Our house overlooked a cemetery and as a child I noticed some people huddled around. I asked mother what they were doing. Someone has died and it's a funeral and the body is put in a box and buried.I only knew one type of box which was a Tea chest and thought the person had been put in bum first with their legs and arms hanging out over the top. That image stayed with me for years!!

That all dogs were boys and all cats were girls. Also the white dog poops you used to see in the street were done by white poodles.

The Euro tunnel was a massive glass tunnel you could go through and see all of the animals swimming about. Very disappointed when I found out it was bullshit at about 14.

I still think this!

That traffic lights were controlled by children working inside them (they took a packed lunch obviously). Not sure what I thought happened at night

That there was no water to drink 'abroad' and when people went on holiday they didn't have a drink again until they arrived back home.
I think it was something to do with 'abroad' being 'hot'- so there couldn't possibly be water there.

That the weatherman choses the weather, that no one lived in Ireland (I'm in the UK) because there was no weather icons in the republic and I thought barrow/Cumbria was Ireland as it's a mass of land across from Morecambe

Sitting upstairs on a bus, I thought that when a car was coming towards you and disappeared, that it was going under the bus.

The shorter you were, the younger you were because my mum told me she was 22 and my tiny nan told me she was 21.

I found out that babies were made by having a little tadpole thing swim from Daddy to Mummy. My parents used occasionally to bath together. I worked out that babies were made by the sperm swimming through the bath water.
VERY incredulous and horrified when my Mum explained the truth to me.