Strange things you thought as a child

[rallyingaround]

I used to think there was 100 pennies squashed up into a pound.

I thought the cash out of a cash machine was free money and never understood why my mum would only get £20 😂😂

When very young (pre school) I thought that adults and children were two different species, and I was relieved that I would never have to do all the chores and go to work etc, as I was in the fortunate child group.

My 11 year old said this recently. He couldn't fathom why I didn't just get hundreds out 😂

That I was so subtle when illicitly applying my mum's make up to my own face that no-one would notice... 😆

I genuinely thought that dogs tongues were made of bacon.

Also everything you ate was somehow stored inside you and the more you ate the bigger and more stretched you became.

That poo was stored in your buttocks.

That the story tellers on Jackanory had amazing memories to recall all the words.

That a selection box was a huge cardboard box filled to the brim with chocolate. Oh what a disappointment

I also thought this!

I thought that Australia and Austria were the same place and that Austria was just a shortened / quick way of saying Australia. That the members of ABBA were siblings but had also married each other out of convenience. That my teachers lived at school and slept in the library (I actually asked one once, is this where you sleep?). That He-Man and She-Ra were married. That sprouts were baby cabbages. And that cliffs were where giants had taken giant bites out of the rock.

I should add that I was under 6 when I thought these things.

I used to watch TV ads selling furniture suites and thought it was a shop selling sweets in furniture shapes, still feel that disappointment.

This one is so incredibly sweet

that you could tell boys from girls by their shoes
there was one pop band at the radio station, singing all the different tunes all day
dogs were male and cats were female

The channel tunnel was being built. I thought it was just like a big pipe on the bottom of the sea.

I was really fucking confused at what they were drilling though when they did the whole drilling the big hole and shaking hands thing on the news.

That the story tellers on Jackanory had amazing memories to recall all the words.

I love this

Goats were boys and Sheep were girls

So glad I wasn't the only one 😝

one day a lady living upstairs died in her bed. I went and sat on the stairs just outside her bedroom and could see out the landing window - I thought if I stayed their long enough I would see god come down and take her to heaven. I don't know how long I sat their but I never saw them

Because of the disparaging way my parents spoke about modern music I literally believed that new songs would eventually stop being created - that there were only a limited number possibilities.

As a music lover it gives me great pleasure to this day to realise this is not the case

That if you got married a baby would be teleported into your tummy exactly 2 years after the wedding (I never believed in the stork, that would just be silly!)

Oh and I used to think you were born with a finite amount of “voice”. So I would try not to speak so it didn’t run out before I was older.

That no one lived in happy , loving families like on tv. Thats was make believe. Everyone lived in violent, abusive families like mine, but just didnt talk about it. I was 17 when my friend said her mum cuddled her and told her she loved her all the time. I left home a year later.

Yorkshire tea was grown in Yorkshire. Somewhere near Halifax 🤣

I thought scaffolding was a special frame to support buildings which were in danger of falling down.

That people sat IN the traffic lights to watch the cars and figure out when to change the lights. I used to scrutinise them as I drove past thinking hmmm they're a bit skinny then once out of sight if think about it again and think nah they can fit. There are DEFINITELY people in there.

Waves were caused by children all along the coast in China pushing the water at their end!

A man urinated inside you to get pregnant

My very sheltered mother was in her early 20's before she learnt that you don't get pregnant by beathing in the same air as a man in a room (if the 2 of you are alone in that room!)