Strange things you thought as a child

[rallyingaround]

I used to think there was 100 pennies squashed up into a pound.

Oh yeah, I thought that people lived in the TV. I used to think if I could just break the screen then I could rescue Thumbelina from the road next time.

I meant TOAD.

That when people paid hundreds of thousands of pounds for a house , that they had actually saved up that much money . Never heard of mortgages .

I thought the same with cheques.

Mum: I have no money for that
Me: just write a cheque!

Poor, innocent me

I couldn't understand why there was such a big deal about crossing roads safelyI thought if a car hit you, your knees would make you fall flat on your back, the car would drive over you as you lay flat, then you'd just stand up and get on with your day

This isn’t quite the same but when I started school and we’d been taught to pray by putting hands together and bowing heads, I once did that on Christmas morning and sang happy birthday to Jesus.

I used to think that all women did the same job as my mum, and all men did the same job as my dad.

That all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.

Although I know this not to be true, I still automatically assume cats are female and dogs are male (except for the tiny fluffy white ones that look like little old ladies called Edna).

At school we used to say If you stare in the mirror and said Grey Lady 3 times she would appear... I never quite made it 3 to be able to see if it was true or not 🤣 was too scared.

I thought Cardiff was in America

If I didn't run quick enough up the stairs someone would grab my ankle!

I thought all people with ginger hair smelt like cornflakes

That is gut-wrenchingly sad. I hope you have people in your life now who make you feel safe and loved.

As a young child (and product of the metric system) I believed you became an adult at 100. I remember being terribly shocked to learn that, not only would I become an adult at the age of just 18, but that I would be unlikely to even make it to 100.

My grandad spent a lot of time in a shop that made books but I never saw him come out with one.

I thought if I planted a raisin, a raisin tree would grow. I didn’t know they were dried grapes at the time.

Oh my sweet summer child

I once proudly announced that I had invented Instant Wet Sand: just add water.

Another two. Critical thinking clearly wasn't my strong point...

At around 9 years old my school friends and I misunderstood a conversation between some of the boys about one of the boys being circumcised. His mum was a hairdresser and somehow we misunderstood his Mum deciding to have him circumcised as a baby for religious reasons as her cutting 1cm of his actual penis off that weekend with her hairdressing scissors.

Also in primary school it was common for parents to describe cuts to the head as having "cracked their head open". I took this very literally and had nightmares about horrific head injuries. I used to run and hide if anyone at school bumped their head because I was so frightened of seeing all the gore.

I legitimately and very innocently assumed that germs came from Germany 😣 Turkeys came from Turkey... Whales from Wales etc. My mum howled when I 'informe' her.

Being a small child and used to poster paints which washed off your fingers, I thought that nail varnish was somehow applied under the fingernails, so it didn't come off when you washed your hands.

My mum made a jokey comment saying she wanted a thinner tummy. I told her to go to the body shop as I thought they sold body parts 🤣🤣

I thought that the council owned ALL houses. Had obviously heard the term 'council house' and came to my own conclusion...(My mum and dad owned their house, so the idea didnt come from them).

Also that TV actors did the acting and speaking separately 😳So they acted and mimed, then did the voice part separately (because the sound came out the very obvious speaker on the TV- 1980s).

I remember believing that if you held your breath for more than 5 minutes you would become an angel.

All came from being about 4 years old and being in the room when my great grandmother died (the whole family was gathered at her bedside).

I heard her breathing, then she took a big breath in, then didn't breathe anymore.

Next thing I knew I was sitting in the kitchen eating a biscuit and I asked my Granny's friend what happened to Nana Jess, and she told me she had become an angel and had flown away.

Don't know why I figured 5 minutes was the magic number, but I do remember trying to hold my breath a lot after that. I really wanted to be an angel and fly away.

After religious lessons, that it would be better for me to die as a child and go straight to heaven than live as an adult and risk hell. I was 8 😵

That the theme tune to Neighbours was being sung live every time.

That dads went to a building called 'work' (all of them in the same building)

Because we went for a walk after Sunday dinner and it took us through the grave yard, I thought it was called the gravy yard.

Sorry for weird spacing on my last post, don't know how that happened 🤔