Things that make you RAGE about your parents?

[Derby2022]

Okay, bit of a light-hearted topic whilst dinner is cooking

What things make you RAGE when talking to your parents?

This has all stemmed from a bit of a snappy row Ive just had with my mother this afternoon for context:

My mother has this thing where if, in the first 10 seconds, she isn't interested in a topic or what I or my sibling has to say she'll sigh and go "yeah yeah get to the point" - I've always found it quite rude, YES I know there are some people who do waffle (looking at the woman at the end of every staff meeting with the questions...) But I just find it so rude to say that, especially when the "point" is what you/I am currently explaining! It comes across to me that the person has zero interest in the conversation and just wants you to shut up.

Does anyone else think this is so rude?

ANYWAY, was talking to my sister about Mum and she mentioned she finds it really rude/irritating when Mum makes comments about the neighbour's garden...it's nothing to do with her and my sibling is getting sick of hearing about next doors bloody rotten fence!

So MN's tell me things that make you RAGE about your parents - to give me a chuckle!

My dm has lived her whole life as a competition with diet & fitness her speciality. So judgemental of others. Yes she's in her mid eighties & fit & well for her age but could never acknowledge that she's been lucky. She's really unkind about other people her age that have become ill or disabled & obsessed with being older but fitter.
It's actually exhausting, she was embarrassing when dsis & I were teenagers telling us she looked better in our clothes than we did & was so much fitter, weighed less etc etc.
That we've grown up half way normal is a miracle.
Meeting for lunch this week & I'm already bracing myself for the competitive under eating...🙄

My Mum is obsessed with the Royals. Kate = saintly, Meghan = evil obviously. I just nod and say hmmm a lot.

Dad has serious main character syndrome. We don’t speak much, can’t stand him frankly.

You know, ten years after they died I can’t remember any, so it can’t have been that bad! My bil on the other hand is a rude, self-important, toss piece! I can’t make up my mind if I want to bite my tongue for husband and his mother’s sake or if I want a blazing row! I’m me, so it will probably be the former!

But telling you lot I’m angry will make me feel better!

I’be been having a weekend of thinking of things I should have said with steam pouring from my ears.

They believe conspiracies theories but not the news.

Heard something in an anonymous internet forum? It must be true!

Read something in a well-researched and fact-checked article on the BBC? Must all be lies.

It’s just so childish. 🙄

My mum talks non-stop with her mouth full (puts too much food in too). Can hardly hear what she's saying through the food. Then she inevitably chokes from trying to talk and swallow at the same time and coughs all over the table.
I grew up with her constantly telling me not to talk with my mouth full!

She also cuts me off when I'm talking on the phone to bellow something at my dad, usually something that could wait. Even if it couldn't wait, she doesn't apologise or excuse herself. Even if I'm sharing something really personal. ie. Me: "So I was really upset about it all. I don't know how I can go back after--" Her: (yelling) "IT"S ON THE TOP OF THE WASHING MACHINE!! WHERE YOU LEFT IT!..... NO, THE WASHING MACHINE, NOT THE DISHWASHER!"
Then there'll be a long pause during which she'll be getting up to go to the washing machine and I can hear them having a discussion in the background. Then when she eventually comes back: "Hiya". (not "sorry"). Me: "Er, hi. Anyway, I was saying-" Her: CAN YOU GET SOME WASHING UP LIQUID AS WELL?"

It sounds like she is trying to avoid my conversation, but that's not it - if she didn't want to listen to me she'd be quite direct about it. She is just completely not paying attention and she doesn't realise.

This is just the sort of thing I wanted to read about on this thread! Little, trivial things!
Mine is my mums gasping. If a magazine falls off the sofa you get a gasp I would expect to hear if the roof caved in. And in the car. Oh my goodness, the gasping makes me think I'm about to run over a small child, when in fact I'm just turning left!

The same with my Dad, although pigheaded that I am I tell him he’s talking bollocks and cut him off mid mansplain/immigrant rant or regurgitation of whatever’s in the Daily M. The weird thing is despite an expensive education he is shockingly uneducated and has no critical thought process. I stopped trying to have a measured, reasoned conversation ages ago as it was entirely pointless.

Also my mum grips the edge of the car seat whenever I put the indicators on and braces her feet ready for me to turn 😂
I'm not an unsafe driver by any means!

My mother is happy to share her opinions on anything and everything. Freely given, whether you’re interested in them or not. No worries, nobody is perfect. Until there is something that I will actually ask for her opinion on, and then she will never ever give it. All I get it ‘well, you know what is best for you’ or ‘you know what you think’. Argh!

My mum is exactly the same, I refused to buy her the DM when I did her shopping throughout lockdown.

My mum also thinks that Prince Harry has got it in for the press!

Another thing. When I’m talking to her on the phone (has to be landline, they won’t use mobiles under any circumstances. Which is actually very limiting when it comes to overseas travel, parking etc) she repeats everything I say straightaway for my dad’s benefit, rather than just tell him the news when she’s hung up the phone. It feels very performative and completely unnecessary as she has all day to tell him whatever she wants to tell him as they’re both retired and at home a lot.

Comments about their biggest failure/regret as parents that I've "lost my faith" . Makes me want to beat him to death with one of his holy statues.

This is fairly minor but DM can't bear it if I/we do something with the DC that doesn't involve her. Something a bit special, I mean. We took them to the cinema in the holidays and she immediately asked why she wasn't invited. She actually asked the kids, not me, which made it even more irritating!

We do a lot with her: stay at hers during half terms, she comes with us on big days out (theme parks, zoo, etc), always celebrate birthdays and Christmas together... but it's like we can't do anything without her getting offended that she didn't come along. I understand she wants to spend time with us but sometimes we just want to do something spontaneous, me, DH and the DC! I adore my DM and we have a very good relationship, but this drives me NUTS.

PIL are also lovely but they tend to think everyone is an arsehole until they prove otherwise. Everyone. Including me! It took a good few months before I was accepted, and now they love me and are very kind. But everyone has to prove themselves not to be an idiot before they can be friendly.

My mum on the other hand just never stops wittering on about random stuff and doesn’t listen to anything you say. She will fixate on one thing (eg. The price of butter in English supermarkets vs continental ones) and bang on about it to anyone who’d listen for days/weeks. She will also tell and retell stories of something that happened to her or her friend/neighbour/random man on the bus several times to the same person. It’s not an age thing, she’s always been like this, but my tolerance to it has waned over the years.

she also comments constantly when watching films or TV. A constant running commentary. Aaargh!

Wondering if my mum has a secret child I don’t know about…… 🤔

My dad and step mum just snipe at each other constantly. It’s bloody awful. Separately they are fine but together they make me want to poke my own eyes out. There’s far more back story that I won’t go into. But they’d be better apart.

My dad calls MY DD his little girl and it gives me the rage.

My mum calls flip flops “flip flaps” and it make me and my brother want to vom.

My mum and step dad have both come into a LOT of money in recent years. Some was used to get them through covid as step dad is self employed/got no govt support. But they 100% could have made a cash purchase. Instead, they wax lyrical about a 3 bed bungalow with a south facing garden, which they will never be able to afford. Keep buying stuff for their rented house, including paying for half of the kitchen revamp that they instigated. And keep talking about getting a mortgage, when she doesn’t work and he is SE but doesn’t declare everything. It makes me rage as I feel like I’m the one who always has to help clear up their mess.

Mum also doesn’t sleep well sometimes, but doesn’t work or have any responsibilities beyond keeping the house. And I am run ragged looking after DD, her homework, house stuff, work (14 hours), cooking, supporting DH who has a big job and works away a lot, so I’m on my own a lot… ok maybe I’m not run ragged but I’m busy. And she moans about waking up at 4/5am but goes to bed soooo early. I mean what does she expect?!

To be clear I love my mum and tolerate my dad, but their life choices and subsequent moaning do just make me feel a bit 🤯🤯

My parents are now deceased but a close friend's MIL is one of those who just rambles on about people you have never met and events you weren't at, barely pausing for breath when you've just said hello. It's exhausting, I avoid her!

She also tells me things about my friend that really should be private. Not major secrets but criticises certain aspects of her character which is both unfair on my friend and on me, the listener (I'd rather not know!)

@Awakeallnight your post made me laugh but I bet it's so annoying in real life!

My mum has Alzheimer's now, but when she was still in good health, all she did was complain about my dad. There was plenty to complain about, but it used to really wear me down. As soon as he left the room, or fell asleep, she would just moan on and on. She never did have a great interest in the world around her, so all of our conversations were very limited ... and mostly about my dad! After he died, she switched to one of her sisters🙄

Oh lots of things… where do I start. Talking about people in the village (who I don’t know) and telling me all the ins and outs of their lives. They’re not even her friends their customers. I am not interested. Telling me things she’s read in the news paper (daily mail) or on tv (channel 5 opinion morning show) as if it’s fact. Giving her opinion on various things in the news and current affairs and what she would do as the only right opinion. Oh so many things. When she’s in a good mood she’s fine but when she’s on one it’s hard work. I have learnt just to listen and not really get into a discussion about things.

I wonder if your kids will be moaning about you in 30 years time

Yes @valentinaxo I lived through the same and it was awful. When my parents eventually did split up (when I was on my 30's, long after they should have), my mum would protest that they stayed together so long for us! Honestly, living with them together was so traumatic, I left home at 18 for uni and never went back for more than a few days at a time. They wondered why, when all my friends spent their holidays back at home, I stayed in my uni city. I feel they were so negligent in letting us live with their toxic relationship, that now they're old and could do with help, I just don't have it in me.

All my whole I've had to put up withnmy dad verbally abusing my mum and she won't leave it (cultural reasons). He call her stupid. He has even called me stupid.

He is so controlling is like why are you upstairs what are you doing blah blah blah. Wont let her vacuum the house, he does it and does a crap job. Never says it when I am there but my mum tells me as she needs to vent now and again.

Hate being around him, feel like on constant eggshells cos his mood might change in an instant.

I wont be crying when he is no longer here, more relieved.

I would think so, it’s a rite of passage.