Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Daughter keeps ranting at me about GS weeing the bed

122 replies

Cantcook4shit · 04/02/2023 23:13

I know I'm being judgemental. But I'm so fed up with it.
Grandson is 5 he often stays over1 or 2 nights. No accidents in bed no problem what so ever. He likes to take a toddler sippy cup to bed with him. He has one drink in the no more. As I said no accidents its not even a discussion or a thing.
Practically every day I have my daughter ranting at me. That he's peeing the bed several times a night she swears blind shes not letting him over drink or giving him. Drinks through the night. But I don't believe her . What Gos in comes out. So she just be putting something in ...
Pull ups don't work as he rips them . And also soaks through them .
I know I'm sounding judgemental. But I'm just so fed up with hearing it every day.
Its things like omg I can't take this anymore he's pissed 3 times I can't get anything dry . I don't know what to do. It just don't stop bla bla. It's stressful listening/reading it . I know its stressful for her . But I don't think she's helping her self. And it's not fair on him.
Whats she want me to do ???
Yes I know I'm sound like a right bitch . I fully support her with alot of stuff very supportive but I can't fix this when she's doing nothing.

OP posts:
Auliza · 05/02/2023 02:08

My son stopped bed wetting at 6. He wore pull ups overnight and would wake up absolutely wet through every day. We tried everything, even waking him in the night for a wee and he would still wake up soaking. Eventually we used a bed wetting alarm which worked wonders. It works by teaching the brain to recognise the signal that you need to pee while sleeping.

I must admit, it was so frustrating when he would wake up wet every morning, I can definitely see where your daughter is coming from. I had to strip and wash all of his bedding daily and duvet, which wasn’t so easy when we were out at 7:30am and not back until 6pm but of course not his fault.

My son also didn’t wet when at his Grandparents but he slept a lot lighter there as wasn’t his own bed.

A bed wetting alarm is definitely worth researching and maybe trying. Good luck to your grandson and daughter, it won’t last forever x

Original poster
Cantcook4shit · 05/02/2023 02:15

Auliza · 05/02/2023 02:08

My son stopped bed wetting at 6. He wore pull ups overnight and would wake up absolutely wet through every day. We tried everything, even waking him in the night for a wee and he would still wake up soaking. Eventually we used a bed wetting alarm which worked wonders. It works by teaching the brain to recognise the signal that you need to pee while sleeping.

I must admit, it was so frustrating when he would wake up wet every morning, I can definitely see where your daughter is coming from. I had to strip and wash all of his bedding daily and duvet, which wasn’t so easy when we were out at 7:30am and not back until 6pm but of course not his fault.

My son also didn’t wet when at his Grandparents but he slept a lot lighter there as wasn’t his own bed.

A bed wetting alarm is definitely worth researching and maybe trying. Good luck to your grandson and daughter, it won’t last forever x

Yes 5 is definitely under the norm bracket for bed wetting. I think its more to fo with how many times he's weeing 3/4 times a night.

Definitely look into the alarm thing worth a go

OP posts:
Trez1510 · 05/02/2023 02:17

I'm thinking along the same lines as @thirdfiddle.

Is the geography different between his home and yours i.e. is the toilet on the same floor at your's, but not at her's?

A journey in the dark to a closeby toilet will be a very different prospect to a 5yo than a trek down stairs and back up them in the dark.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families Potty training
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/02/2023 02:21

So he doesn't wet the bed at your place but he does when he's with his Mum?

I think you need to have a serious talk with your daughter about what goes on in her house, not yours.

Original poster
Cantcook4shit · 05/02/2023 02:25

I don't think gs would want to stay for a week. He would ask to go home.
I can't stay at dd place because I have other children and other stuff going on.

Dd had stayed here with him a few times how and seen how tget ngs are. And she's managed to get a couple of full nights sleep. Then they go home and back to normal 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
Cantcook4shit · 05/02/2023 02:28

Trez1510 · 05/02/2023 02:17

I'm thinking along the same lines as @thirdfiddle.

Is the geography different between his home and yours i.e. is the toilet on the same floor at your's, but not at her's?

A journey in the dark to a closeby toilet will be a very different prospect to a 5yo than a trek down stairs and back up them in the dark.

The toilets are on the sane level. No stairs between bedrooms and toilets in either home. But her toilet is next to her front door maybe he's scared to use it at night

OP posts:
Auliza · 05/02/2023 02:38

Same for my son, he’d go multiple times a night. We did no drinks, only a tiny bit of water with his evening meal but he would still go. Made sure he had a wee before bed and even woke him in the night but never worked and still woke wet. He would wake up and do a massive wee too in the morning!

My Mum used to tell me that we were doing something wrong at home but we were not. I spoke with a Dr about it and he said about the bed wetting alarm to see if that helps. It was the only thing that helped.

Trez1510 · 05/02/2023 02:48

Cantcook4shit · 05/02/2023 02:28

The toilets are on the sane level. No stairs between bedrooms and toilets in either home. But her toilet is next to her front door maybe he's scared to use it at night

Show quote history

FWIW, I think you should continue to attempt to persuade your daughter that a receptical (not necessarily a baby's potty) could be in his room at night - call it whatever you like e.g. big boy night-time toilet - to see if that helps before exploring any possible 'fear' issue?

If he can use something in his bedroom, it them becomes more likely that fear (of the front door, or not making the toilet, or something else) may be the issue.

I hope between all three of you, you can get the issue resolved and get your relationship with your daughter back on track!

mathanxiety · 05/02/2023 02:59

How often does DD go out with friends in a week?

Would you say you are more of a mother figure to GS than DD

I suppose what I'm getting at here is whether GS feels more secure with you than with his mother.

SpookyBlackCat · 05/02/2023 03:07

Kids are weird. I think that he doesn’t bed-wet at his grandmother’s house doesn’t mean anything at all. My son was a bed-wetter. He also couldn’t do pull-ups for the same reason. We had a waterproof mattress sheet, then mattress topper, then sheet. If I struggled to get the laundry dry, I’d just take it to the launderette and use the dryers there. We never made a big fuss about it as it wasn’t something he could help. You just have to manage it.

margueritedaisy · 05/02/2023 03:39

IME doctors aren't interested in bed-wetting until 7yo or older. I would be explaining that you can not take off your pull up unless you are in the toilet. Poor dear.
Def get those brolly sheets for your DD.
Have you tried the extra special pj's that "can't get wet"?

Beseen22 · 05/02/2023 03:59

Hes still so little, sounds like he doesn't have enough vasopressin yet to be dry through the night.
If you Google Eric- bedtime wetting there is some great information and some steps you can put in place to try and help him. It actually doesn't recommend lifting through the night because he's not waking properly it's not teaching his body to stop voiding overnight.

He is however old enough to have a conversation around the pull ups. Why is he taking them off? Is it because he's wetting multiple times and doesn't like the feeling of being wet? I read somewhere recently about boy tummy sleepers can often leak out the front of a pull up and by sticking a pantyliner horizontally across the top can stop that. If he has additional needs or struggles to understand could you try a large high rise pair of pants over the pull up? Or even a button vest?

Wdib78 · 05/02/2023 05:58

BlueWhiteHat · 04/02/2023 23:36

Were the huge gaps for dramatic effect?

I doubt it. It happens to me when I type posts or replies on my phone. Also randomly inserting the words I'm typing in-between other words. Drives me mad and takes forever to type out a reply sometimes. I'll be typing away and the screen will just jump down, doesn't happen on any other site or email or messages.

Turkeyneck101 · 05/02/2023 06:17

Cantcook4shit · 04/02/2023 23:40

Nope there is a problem with posting and leaving big gaps like my op . For people using Samsung phones. There's a thread about it

Show quote history

On a side note....I have a Samsung but found that the big gaps only appear when I access mumsnet via my emails not when I go through Google.

ittakes2 · 05/02/2023 06:18

Unfort the weeing is not just a sign of over watering - its also a sign of stress and also a sign of sexual abuse. Is there anyone else in the house other than her and her son?

GenAndWine · 05/02/2023 06:44

If you’re lifting him when you go to bed you’ll be making the problem worse. Is he wetting at home around the time you would lift him?

LittleBlueBrioTrain · 05/02/2023 06:49

Who else lives with your daughter and GS, or stays overnight?

closingscore · 05/02/2023 06:51

Didn't you post the same thing last week?

Iizzyb · 05/02/2023 07:22

At this age your DD can speak to the school nurses for support. They may be able to help her to improve things at home.

Various things could include drinking more during the day (he may drink more in the day with you), avoiding blackcurrant juice/squash, minimal drinks early evening from a certain point (we say 6.30), nothing to drink from 7.30. Bedtime routine incl toilet, teeth, book then nip back for a final wee before going to sleep.

Also the ERIC website has a helpline and lots of resources to help parents. Definitely worth a look.

MudandParsnips · 05/02/2023 07:27

My DD4 isn't dry at night, and went through a horrendous, angry pull-up refusal phase. We used to have to go in after she was in deep sleep and put it on then. She sometimes stirred but she never woke up. I think it got her used to wearing one again and then after a while she started agreeing to wear the pull up herself ag bedtime. Might be worth a try? I also think if she's stressed about him bring wet (which I understand, it's utterly exhausting), this might be rubbing off on him and making him stressed too, perpetuating the cycle. We also worked with DD on helping her realise that it's totally normal to wear pull ups at night until much older, and it doesn't make her a baby, they wouldn't make them for older kids if they weren't needed etc. This probably helped too. Good luck to you all!

WonderingWanda · 05/02/2023 07:46

Restricting fluids can be counter productive. Bed wetting can be linked to long term constipation. It can also be linked to a child not producing vasopressin the hormone which slows down urine production at night. The first thing bladder and bowel nurses do is insist the child drinks plenty of water throughout the day and to keep a diary of what's going in and what's coming out. So it is entirely possible that reduced fluids can work for one night at yours but isn't going to solve the underlying problem. I would suggest to your daughter that she gets in touch with either the gp or school nursing team to get a referral to the bladder and bowel clinic. It is likely they will have suggestions such as bedwetting alarms and there are also medications which can help. You can also buy reusable bed pants which are made of fabric and much more comfortable and grown up, I will post a link.

SeasonFinale · 05/02/2023 07:56

She should ask for a referral to an enuresis clinic. It is is actually quite common for bed wetting due to lack of hormone to not be an issue when the child is not at home as they do not go into such a deep sleep. Also what does he drink because juices, squashes and fizzy drinks should not be drank at all.

I feel for your daughter. The constant washing etc is exhausting . My son was on desmopressin until he was 15 so she should try to get referred although some won't take them until they are 7.

I understand you aren't saying this to uour daughte in person and just ranting here but please try to be understanding of her instead. She may not be doing anything wrong at all and it is just a hormonal issue.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/02/2023 08:05

He would wet the bed though at the OPs if she didn't lift him at night. The advice is not to lift at all now. You need to ditch the drink and work out a way that he's comfortable in pull ups.

Original poster
Cantcook4shit · 05/02/2023 08:08

GenAndWine · 05/02/2023 06:44

If you’re lifting him when you go to bed you’ll be making the problem worse. Is he wetting at home around the time you would lift him?

I don't get him up at my house he gos through the night.

OP posts: