What basic simple thing are you sh*t at?

[Koicrap]

I can’t cook rice. If you want rice you can cook it yourself. And I can pull together a roast from scratch and every meal in between without much thought, but for some reason, unless it’s in a microwave bag, I can’t cook rice.

I can’t cook poached eggs either but I feel I’m not alone there.

@SandcastleQueen

Me too! I have to twizzlè my bra àround painful in Summer when I seem to bloat. So I gèt those pull on ones.

Ironing
Doing a VAT return
Folding clothes in that neat way my mother does

Drawing. My 7 year old is better than me.

Swimming. I can do a weird combo of breaststroke arms and front crawl legs for about ten metres and that's it. Can't float or tread water. It's embarrassing.

Rice. I really upset the rice gods in a former life.

I have no sense of direction but will get to where I’m supposed to be eventually by the longest and most complicated way possible.

Crochet.

Make up. Solidarity to the poster who mentioned eyelashes. I have worn them twice. Both times it looked like I had spiders crawling over my face after half an hour.

Since I had my teeth straightened, I can’t whistle any more. This upsets me an irrational amount.

I can’t say Julia, Gerard or Cathal without a huge amount of effort and preparation.

I’m bad at cleaning up anything with a bad smell. I start vomiting and then I have to clean that up too and it’s just an endless spiral of retching misery.

I'm bad at opening things, I usually end up ripping them open impatiently rather the reading the simple pull here or tear here instructions. Lol. ditto the posters that said putting on duvet covers I can do it eventually but it's always a Palava and I somehow end up inside it 😂 I'm great with eggs and pancakes tho lol

All things relating to housework, house keeping, life admin and organisation.

I'm a brilliant person but a really shit housewife

house decorating. Even painting a simple wall has me and the floor covered in splatters, and the wall covered in lumpy paint

Most things computer related apart from the basics.
Any kind of crafty / arty things
Knitting , I admire these people immensely

I too am rubbish at catching or hitting a ball, I'm not very good at catching anything even if I concentrate. I'm also rubbish at running. As you can imagine PE wasn't my strong suit.

My version of swimming is kind of a panicked doggy paddle.

Sweating onions. I either burn them or they're crunchy. 35 years I have been doing it. Still crap.

@BananaSpanner

I am useless at recognising people. No memory for faces.

Yep, same here. I know that I've "blanked" people I know very well, completely unintentionally. I only "recognise" someone if we're in the "usual" surroundings, such as an office, shop, neighbouring house, etc where I expect to see them. Sometimes, I don't even recognise a neighbour if they come to my front door if I usually see them on the street or go to their front door! I usually "get it" after a short while, i.e. if I look at someone long enough or we start talking, but in the "immediate present" upon first seeing someone, I've not a clue that I know them! When someone approaches me or comes to my door, I've now "trained myself" to smile and keep quiet for a few seconds until my brain has processed who they are - it was embarrassing when I'd speak too quickly and give the game away that I didn't recognise them.

My OH is the opposite and recognises everyone he's ever met! If we go on holiday, whilst at the destination, i.e. a hotel or restaurant or beach, etc., he'll point someone out and tell me they were on our plane! Same on holiday day trips - once we're back the next day or so, he'll point someone out and say there were on our trip, or he saw them in place z whilst we were there. And these are people we never spoke to - he's just got a memory for people and place.

Applying make up

foundation Or powder always oxidises and I look blotchy and orange, big like Donald Trump. Maybe my skin just has the wrong acidity level or something?

I am 50. I have given up on being able to apply make up as a skill. It won’t happen. I do wear wonky eye liner each day, as otherwise my face just looks like a big potato

I tried soft kohl pencils but they just don’t take (sweaty eye lids?! 😂) and eye shadow wander around

lipstick I lick off (without being aware I do it) in minutes

every 5 years or so I book a makeover, get all the advice, look lovely for a day, buy the stuff… but I just can’t do it!

I can catch a ball, cook rice and parallel park though, so there’s that … but I wanna look pretty 😭

I learnt how to fold these about a decade ago and my friends still swear it's witchcraft xD

This is basically it, except I would do it completely in half first and then into quarters.

For my part, I have never got the hang of either knitting or crochet. I can do origami, I can see, but not init or crochet.

I'm also terrible at stairs, as soon as I start thinking about it it's a nightmare to not fall down them 😅

Romantic relationships.

I can do most other things - finance, work, home, raising ds, cooking, get on with family & friends etc.

But finding a decent man and then maintaining that relationship is beyond me. I just don't understand them. 😳

Phone calls. I get really anxious about calling people or answering the phone... No problems at all face to face

@Augend23 I'm terrible at stairs too. I've fallen/slipped down our carpeted stairs so many times. DH is always really confused at why it keeps happening to me and never to him.

Whisper. I have no volume control and I often embarrass my husband by whispering something rude to him and have other people hear. He tells me off for it.
Not whispering, but we were once at a fireworks display with friends and the William Tell Overture was being played as the fireworks went off. A jolly, bracing tune, so I said to my husband under the cover of all the noise, "I could ride you to this tune." There was a lull in the song and fireworks, of course and there were several people around us laughing.

Excel. I will never manage it.

I have never in my life cracked an egg without pieces of shell falling in the bowl.
I am also rubbish with unlocking doors and lockers. I have worked out my own front door but if it's an unfamiliar key and keyhole I could be there all day trying.

I can’t wink! Have never been able to. Am I alone?!

@HotSauceCommittee that made me LOL 😂

Slicing bread- love a fresh crusty farmhouse loaf. Can I slice it in anything other than an angled doorstop. Nope.

ironing men’s shirts- such a shame I can’t seem to get a hang of this one. They’re that bad he’s asked me to stop ironing them now 😉

I can’t blow up a balloon because something weird happens to my glands and they pop out when I try. Does anyone else have this??

@cravingtoblerone i cannot run to save my life. Literally. If I was being chased I may as well turnaround and walk towards them.