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Original poster

What basic simple thing are you sh*t at?

233 replies

Koicrap · 03/02/2023 22:51

I can’t cook rice. If you want rice you can cook it yourself. And I can pull together a roast from scratch and every meal in between without much thought, but for some reason, unless it’s in a microwave bag, I can’t cook rice.

I can’t cook poached eggs either but I feel I’m not alone there.

OP posts:
BananaSpanner · 04/02/2023 06:45

I am useless at recognising people. No memory for faces. I am also really unobservant generally.

I’ve lived in our current house a year and with the exception of our immediate next door neighbours, I wouldn’t recognise any of the rest of them unless they were standing on their own doorstep saying “hi, I’m Peter from number 8”.

DH is the complete opposite and will often say that he saw a neighbour at the shop or on the dog walk. Or notice that so and so has a new car or cut down a tree. Me…not a chance.

I am a very good parker though, can make pasta and rice, a good cup of tea and eggs however you want them.

WonderingWanda · 04/02/2023 06:52

Spelling in my head, I have to write it down or I just can't picture it.

Tennis, I can't even serve the ball. Marginally better at rounders for some reason.

Remembering numbers like phone numbers and pin numbers, I know my own mobile number and my landline from when I was 5 and that's it. Can't remember my current landline number of 10 years. I know my pin but only if I physically type it out on a number pad but trying to remember it now has me doubting it. I can remember passwords no problem just numbers are tricky.

LoopDiL00p · 04/02/2023 06:58

Reading out numbers. So if I'm picking up a parcel and there's a reference number they want me to read out. I have to really concentrate or I'll just say the wrong digit somewhere in the middle for no reason.

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General food
maryberryslayers · 04/02/2023 06:59

Being on time, for anything. Even if I get ready 3 hours early I am still late. Every year it's my New Years resolution, I fail miserably.
DH is worse than I am.

IHeartGeneHunt · 04/02/2023 06:59

Tying my shoelaces
Fastening buckles
Can't do my times tables
Doing up zips

MrsTopaz · 04/02/2023 07:07

-make a white sauce that doesn’t need sieving
-reverse park the car (used to visit a client where the cars HAD to be reversed in, dreaded it, swear they used to gather around the window to watch me (and their cars either side!)
-blow up balloons
-find anywhere using my own internal compass! I just don’t have one, totally reliant on google maps.

Highhi · 04/02/2023 07:08

Buttering bread.

I am skilled at poached eggs though, so at least have something going for me.

Gemütlich81 · 04/02/2023 07:09

marvellousmaple · 04/02/2023 01:51

For those with the rice cooking problem. Buy a microwave rice cooker. They are about $10 ( Aussie) so maybe 5 pounds. You put in the rice and the water using the little scoop provided, add some salt and put in the microwave. Perfect rice every time.
With regards to poached eggs I think it is a magic thing. My DIL makes the best poached eggs and I have seen chefs on tv poaching 10 at a time. I cannot do 1. I'm good at fried eggs though. Sadly , I love poached eggs . Waaahh!
Also I have a degree in Literature but can never remember how to spell guest. ( I had to google). So weird.
Also turn a paper map upside down otherwise it makes no sense to me.

I use these and they are perfect for poached eggs: www.poachies.com/
I buy them on Amazon

i can’t draw, catch a ball or come out of a shop and walk the correct way. I always have to pretend my friend has called me to change plans and turn around 😳

Crumpetdisappointment · 04/02/2023 07:10

movitation
for
tidying, paper work,
certain things at work

Parisj · 04/02/2023 07:11

I can't ever cook oven chips right. Christmas dinner for 14, no problem, sighs of satisfaction all round. Oven chips, total let down burnt and hard round the edges or uncooked in parts.

Bobbydazzla · 04/02/2023 07:12

I cannot cut any sort of brownies/traybake into straight lines/equal portions. I cannot cook mashed swede and carrot to save my life. I can boil the fuck out of them for hours and the swede is still like concrete.

Parisj · 04/02/2023 07:14

I can't remember names of books or of people in the public eye when I want to mention them in conversation. Total blank, I seem like an idiot. I can remember the sense or feeling of something much better than the details.

Buttalapasta · 04/02/2023 07:15
  • burp on demand
  • whistle
  • make spaghetti carbonara - my ds's favourite but it always turns into scrambled egg
maddiemookins16mum · 04/02/2023 07:16

I’m a great cook and baker but I can’t crack eggs without either getting shell everywhere or breaking them.

namechangeforthisbleep · 04/02/2023 07:26

avocado44 · 03/02/2023 22:55

Parking. I drive 30,000 miles a year but cant park when i get there. Half of that is circling car parks looking for a triple space...

Same. It's defo a disorder

Girasoli · 04/02/2023 07:30

I can't blow.up balloons, I can sort of half blow them and then forget how to blow.

I can't follow Google maps very well, very poor sense of direction.

Original poster
Koicrap · 04/02/2023 07:34

@maddiemookins16mum eggs really are stressful things! I feel so much pressure cracking an egg.

if I’m doing an omelette or scrambling they seem to crack fine. No broken yokes. But if I’m frying, they only come out unbroken and shell-less every other time.

OP posts:
MaureenSowerbuttsCardi · 04/02/2023 07:34

SandcastleQueen · 03/02/2023 22:58

Putting a bra on, I have to do it up at the front then twizzle it round.

But doesn't everyone do it this way?! How can you do up a bra FROM THE BACK?!

I don't think I'm womaning correctly 🤔

cunderthunt1 · 04/02/2023 07:38

I end up losing my temper every time I have to use some cling film. Fucking ludicrous invention

Stayingstrongish · 04/02/2023 07:40

Oh winking is another thing. I look like something’s gone wrong with my eye when I try.

Itdjgsurchg · 04/02/2023 07:45

Wrapping presents. They always look a mess, I get my hair stuck in the cellotape or it rips.

mash potato- either too lumpy or over cooked and watery. Can never get it right but still I try every single week.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 04/02/2023 07:47

I could reverse park a double decker bus into a space designed for a Mini, no problem. Couldn't parallel park to save my life.

Sunnysideup999 · 04/02/2023 07:48

Can’t read a map - I have no sense of direction
I also cant wink and I’ve always wished I could

cravingtoblerone · 04/02/2023 07:52

Running. I'm never sure what to do with my knees and arms so have this weird wobbly gait. My running has been described as 'something from the Jim Henson Muppet Workshop'.

dudsville · 04/02/2023 07:54

I can't tie off a newly placed button. It will come undone. My partner even asked to watch me tie one off to see if he could work out where i was going wrong. I once replaced all the buttons on a shirt dress and then had the most exciting pinic at a national trust garden.