What basic simple thing are you sh*t at?

[Koicrap]

I can’t cook rice. If you want rice you can cook it yourself. And I can pull together a roast from scratch and every meal in between without much thought, but for some reason, unless it’s in a microwave bag, I can’t cook rice.

I can’t cook poached eggs either but I feel I’m not alone there.

I have no sense of direction. I might as well live in a vaccuum.

Now, just the rice problem.....

well. It’s good to know I relate to 99% of you, and that I’m shit at more things than I remembered.

look forward to reading more about how useless you all are tomorrow.

night, you feckless bastards.

Tools in vacuum cleaners. I never had those 'fit the shape in the hole' toys when I was a child. Consequently I can't fit vacuum tool things into the right place. I struggle with spatial awareness tasks.

Darts. I can’t even hit the board! Great idea for a thread OP 😊

In the days when we used plastic bags at supermarkets, I was never able to open the bag by pulling the two sides apart. They just stuck together for me no matter what I did. I would have had to tear the top a little to prise them apart.

Never saw anyone else having the problem.

Thankfully that problem no longer exists.

@Jux
Sooo many methods for cooking rice - this is one

for Indian I use Basmati (expensive but I don’t cook often). Rinse twice and drain. Put one cup rice to one and a half cold water. Add salt (alienate a load of other cooks) Bring to a boil. Turn down to low simmer and cover - about 10minutes. If you see holes appearing you can turn off re-cover and allow to finish cooking.

The microwave rice you can get is very good or rice cookers are great so maybe just do that instead.

Driving. I'm shit at it. I'm not confident and it scares me.

I can't swim
And flirting. I used to make myself cringe when I tried to flirt with men before I got married.
I can cook though

@blueshoes the trick is to lick your fingers and rub the middle bit then the plastic bag comes slightly apart.
For rice, you all need my half pint glass and benign neglect.
I can't run, blow up balloons, climb a rope or speak French.

Feels like everything at the minute! Onwards and upwards

Using a can opener. I’ve tried everything from bog standard up to expensive gadgets and can’t for the life if me get the lids off. It’s just usually a couple of mangled holes.
Parallel parking I can only do under pressure. Take a busy road and queuing traffic and I can get in the space perfectly in one attempt. Middle of nowhere without onlookers and I’m hopeless! That one baffles me.

And I can't fold fitted sheets.

I can put duvet covers on now though thanks to the burrito method. Google it!

Anything that requires hand eye coordination.Am rubbish..kids think I am dyspraxic!

Also anything craft-related. My sewing skills are rudimentary at best and knitting is a complete mystery despite being shown how to several times. I can’t draw or paint either.
But I can ace most cooking skills.

Cooking potatoes. I'm truly rubbish at it.

After years of practise (we're talking decades) I can do baked potatoes with about 50% success rate, a vaguely passable roastie and have totally given up on mash.

Looking for stuff. I seem to give up before I start and end up moving things aimlessly around without finding the thing I need. The other day I was looking in the fridge for something and swore blind it wasn’t there and DH opens the door and there it was. I think because it wasn’t on the shelf I was expecting it threw me 😳

Love this thread

Another organised one who is shit at admin and cannot meal plan. I rebel against my own plan. I'm really really really going to master it in 2023. Simple meals and repeating them often will be my starting point

Fry an egg. Seriously. I've had instruction from my mother, DH and 15 year old ds. Still can't do it solo, always black underneath and raw bits of white.

I love you.

Ever since Sixth Sense I have said

Michael Night Shyman

I do apologise types carefully@Mnightshymalan

You never know!
I have a word association disorder.
Clearly bloody David Hasselhoff in this sense 😱

Don't ever say Jockey Wilson to me.
Willie Carson...

The list goes on. That is so outing to anyone who knows me 🤣
Jimminy Cricket - I remembered!!

My 'sense' (lack of) direction is legendary. And when I am turning something on / off (like a hose) I have to recite SATC episode "righty tighty, lefty loosey"
I have recently found online a method for perfect egg boiling. It's brilliant. I am 'old' - always thought these things were inherent female knowledge that I wasn't privy to 🤷‍♀️

Unbelievably dhiy at managing mu period pains. If done right ( ibuprofen every 6 hours) all is well but for done reason as soon as the pain is gone I forget this and end up in intense pain which once iy gets to that point, nothing can bring it back down. Do here I am at 1am in do much fucking pain. Why do I do this to myself

I have a poor sense of time and people's faces and names. I live in fear that someone will say Hi, remember me? At best, I will recognise the face, but I won't remember how I knew them and when I knew them.

If I visit a place, say on holiday, I only have a vague idea who I went with. If it was during a time of my life when I was dating, I won't remember which man I was on holiday with, even if it was my now dh. So I have to be careful about reminiscing about past holidays in case I went with another bloke not dh. The shame I carry.

I can't slice bread or stand on one leg/hop.

For those with the rice cooking problem. Buy a microwave rice cooker. They are about $10 ( Aussie) so maybe 5 pounds. You put in the rice and the water using the little scoop provided, add some salt and put in the microwave. Perfect rice every time.
With regards to poached eggs I think it is a magic thing. My DIL makes the best poached eggs and I have seen chefs on tv poaching 10 at a time. I cannot do 1. I'm good at fried eggs though. Sadly , I love poached eggs . Waaahh!
Also I have a degree in Literature but can never remember how to spell guest. ( I had to google). So weird.
Also turn a paper map upside down otherwise it makes no sense to me.