Antibreastfeeding?

[Redebs]

Having just browsed some of the 'Help articles' on here, I'm shocked at how Mumsnet is discouraging breastfeeding.

There's one on how normal it is to wean off the breast at two months because of all the 'problems you will have'.

There's one on 'combi feeding', which is about giving formula feeds to breastfed babies - the surest way to reduce your milk supply in reality.

There's another one about packing dummies and bottles in your hospital labour bag. This is definitely going to interfere with newborns getting colostrum and learning to latch. If a baby needs anything, the hospital will provide it in reality.

I know some women choose to formula feed, but these are insidious, supposedly helpful, undermining tactics aimed at new mothers trying to breastfeed. Most of these are sponsored by the baby bottle manufacturer MAM.

If formula companies were promoting this, they would be, rightly, in contravention of advertising rules.

All medical and scientific advice is to give exclusively breastmilk for the first six months and to continue to at least twelve months or longer.

And this is precisely why formula was invented, for situations such as yours. You did nothing wrong and there is no need to feel guilty. I am truly sorry for upsetting you, but my comments are aimed at mothers who don't see the point of even trying, because they are argue black and blue there are no benefits, which is just simply not true! Your clearly not one of those women, and I am so pleased everything worked out for you.

I was breastfed, but my brother was not because he was premature, so I know formula clearly has a place, my mother also wanted to feed my brother and he is in his 50's now and she still mentions her regret from time to time so I know how strong the instinct is. This was going back to the 60's when formula was heavily pushed on new mums so quite unusual for the time.

Why say "shoved" in its mouth?

I never shoved a teat in my baby's mouth. I put it in I did not shove.

I was in floods then every time I had to make the neocate. The milk was running out of me but the baby COULDN'T have it.

And now you double down and say you didn't mean me.

Except no one ever says that first off do they no one does. It's always shoved and plastic teat and try harder.

I tried so hard for so long my baby was FUCKING STARVING.

Amen

Same here

But if an odd thread op

So many women opt for formula as they
Maybe
Want to
Struggle with breast feeding
Need some sleep

The list is long

@dirt and my poor baby who had a “cold plastic teat” shoved in her mouth by DH while I was in hospital having my cancerous breast removed (which didn’t do an amazing job of feeding her in the first place, funnily enough). We did what we needed to do to feed our babies.

Some absolute nonsense on here but I’m still reeling from those that see FF as the same as smoking during pregnancy. Absolutely batshit.

Source?

@dirt please don’t cry. These are sad people whose only mothering prowess relies on whether their child had a 20% less chance of an ear infection. Reading some of the threads on here (EBF, baby failing to thrive, mum refusing to supplement despite trying everything) thank God you decided to put your baby’s needs before anything else. Imagine being a newborn, hungry and sad because mum can’t bear to interrupt her ‘breastfeeding journey’ to give a bottle and would rather watch her baby plummet in weight than feed some formula.

There is one particular disturbing thread on here where a poster’s baby weighed nine pounds at six months old because she couldn’t bear to give them a bottle or admit the issue was breastfeeding. I wonder if she looks back on the photos of her hollow faced starving baby and wonders if it was all worth it.

sending you 🍷 and 💐

You can still sleep with a breastfed baby.

😂👌

@Citycentre3 your use of language is shameful. ‘Cold plastic teat ’ and ‘shove’.

You upset a woman who couldn’t BF and then said ‘oh I didn’t mean you’.

You claim to agree with use of bottles in certain (worthy, according to you) situations and yet your chosen vocabulary to describe this method of feeding a baby is laden with judgement and scorn.

It’s this attitude which is keeping women at war with women, and that is holding us all back.

It just shows her stupidity
Clueless

So so clueless

Imagine the improved mental health and bonding tone for the ladies who had no chose but to go to formula

The judgement is utter b shit

It's knowing what support is best for mum and baby for many women a lactation consultant can assist a mum not only in latch/feeding issues and how to help with bf if they wish but help with combi feeding, how to pace feed and feed responsively which also applies to FF.

Its about establishing the right support for the mother and baby that's going to be different for mother and baby. That's not always going to be bf especially if on certain treatments or medications. There are certain rare genetic conditions where babies/adults can't process proteins etc.

But some posters on here have said support is sufficient for mothers choosing to bf reality is its a postcode lottery. My DS1 was in neonatal and because of Scotlands feeding policy I received the right support. It shouldn't be a postcode lottery for women who wish to feed but are hitting obstacles and little support

Do you know how damaging it is to be told it's all about lactation consultants and try harder and more support for those of us for whom it never would've worked?

I have 3 kids. The first 2 I successfully BF. At the age of 16 and 18 when I knew NO ONE who had ever BF.

But. Of course I just wanted to shove a cold plastic teat in no3's mouth and feed them suboptimal man made formula to save their damn life.

Got it.

What a disgusting end of your post to a mother who would have been worried about their baby.

There are many reasons for poor weight gain including allergies, coeliac disease, genetic disorders etc. There is no way a HV or Dr would not be investigating a poor weight gain. Blaming the mother is no better then what you have been ranting about elsewhere on this thread.

It's shocking. She was obviously not well. And would of been worried.

So I have never said that, you asked how a lactation consultant could have helped. If your child had a protein disorder then no it couldn't have, if you had issues then this depends they could have helped but a lot of the time and for many the cost is prohibitive. Some have a pay it forward to help mothers who can't afford it.
I have never said to any mother they need to try harder or bf journey ending is their fault. The facts of why many women stop bf before they wish to in many cases (from the research) is lack of support or common issues which yes a lactation consultant can assist with. I have not met a single lactation consultant who has said to try harder to a mother they are an accredited service with many hundreds of hours of support under their belts.

I asked

dirt
Can someone tell me how a lactation consultants would've made my baby able to digest my milk?

What about that wasn't clear?

The baby was investigated for everything, medical professionals were heavily involved because the baby was obviously being put at risk. I can PM you the thread if you like but don’t feel it would be fair to post on here. Anyway, there was nothing wrong with the baby, and as soon as it started solids it piled the weight on. Then the poster started more threads wondering why that happened(!!). Abundantly clear that, for a reason that will never be determined, the breastfeeding just wasn’t sufficient, but she would rather starve the baby than bottle feed it. And yes I do blame mothers who put their ‘breastfeeding ambition’ before the health of their baby. 9lb at 6 months old, for gods sake!

And I responded with it depends why your baby couldn't digest your milk to if a lactation consultant could assist or not.
Often lactation consultants are able to recognise the signs of allergies and they listen to mothers so if your baby had a milk allergy then yes they would have been able to assist by suggesting a dairy free diet and providing information to you to go back to your Dr with for investigations with a dietician. So like I say it depends on why your baby couldn't digest your milk.

Not being funny but did you read my posts at all?

It is way more complex than dairy intolerance or allergy.

What would a "lactation consultant" know that a specialist paediatrician, more than one actually, a load of other specialists including a geneticist, specialist nurses and a specialist dietitian didn't know?

I'm all fucking ears.

I'm absolutely loving that some random on mumsnet who knows fuck all about what I tried, what we went through, is able to tell me that a lactation fucking consultant could have helped - in other words I didn't try fucking hard enough. I should've just given up fucking dairy. That would've solved it.

Jesus Christ on a fucking bike.

Likelihood mother also wasn't well and probably not diagnosed it's still completely disgusting what you wrote about "hollow faced photos" of her baby.

My nephew was 11lb at 6 months he had severe allergies which were undiagnosed for a long time. My SIL bf him then switched to FF as was under the dietician he gained less weight on formula then he did bf because he had severe milk and soya allergy. His photos he never looked gaunt he's just petite. He's still small now at 18 months

@dirt please don't let this upset you. This thread has gone way past the original post.

My eldest has food allergies and had weight issues and I remember the fight we had to have to get listened to. No one (apart from the wonderful paediatric dietician who finally diagnosed him) believed me about his symptoms.

You did what you had to do.

What’s disgusting is a baby being starved when they could be being fed. The baby’s physical health comes before the mother’s mental health, to me. And if you really worried about mother’s mental health you wouldn’t be egging on the OP on such a mean spirited thread which has already made one poster cry.

Well, of course formula gives babies a good start in life. The alternatives are less good!
But breast milk is better for babies and breastfeeding is better for women (in general). That doesn't mean that formula fed babies do badly in life !