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Original poster

Antibreastfeeding?

585 replies

Redebs · 03/02/2023 08:33

Having just browsed some of the 'Help articles' on here, I'm shocked at how Mumsnet is discouraging breastfeeding.

There's one on how normal it is to wean off the breast at two months because of all the 'problems you will have'.

There's one on 'combi feeding', which is about giving formula feeds to breastfed babies - the surest way to reduce your milk supply in reality.

There's another one about packing dummies and bottles in your hospital labour bag. This is definitely going to interfere with newborns getting colostrum and learning to latch. If a baby needs anything, the hospital will provide it in reality.

I know some women choose to formula feed, but these are insidious, supposedly helpful, undermining tactics aimed at new mothers trying to breastfeed. Most of these are sponsored by the baby bottle manufacturer MAM.

If formula companies were promoting this, they would be, rightly, in contravention of advertising rules.

All medical and scientific advice is to give exclusively breastmilk for the first six months and to continue to at least twelve months or longer.

OP posts:
Saltywalruss · 05/02/2023 19:35

Parker231 · 05/02/2023 19:28

Care! You mean telling other parents that they’re selfish and making poor choices by using formula!!

Show quote history

I am not sure why you are assuming that's what I meant. Breastfeeding is best for mum and baby.

Parker231 · 05/02/2023 19:40

Saltywalruss · 05/02/2023 19:35

I am not sure why you are assuming that's what I meant. Breastfeeding is best for mum and baby.

Show quote history

And there is nothing wrong in using formula - it gives babies an amazing start in life. A breast feeding mother has zero grounds to criticise another mothers choice.

Calphurnia88 · 05/02/2023 19:40

I don’t give a shit how anyone else feeds their child. I wish they’d extend the same courtesy to others. It’s a MINUSCULE element of parenting. And I have BF.

My thoughts also @JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Breast & bottle feeding Families
WhatNoRaisins · 05/02/2023 19:47

For me it's more that it seems a lot of women start out breastfeeding and then it drops off. Sure some will be starting with an open mind and won't be too fussed if it doesn't work out, some will be that proportion of women who would never have been able to do so no matter what but then there's that group that do care and could have done if properly supported.

I think this group deserves better than a shrug and to be told their feelings don't matter because formula is just as good.

All being things being equal breastmilk is the better food, don't know how you'd quantify this but I'm not convinced it's "better" enough to be worth making women who don't want to do it feel guilty or shamed.

Emmamoo89 · 05/02/2023 20:02

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 05/02/2023 18:43

What I’ve witnessed on here, many times, is FF mothers saying, for example, “I was criticised in the cafe the other day for feeding from a bottle. This woman just came up to me and said I’d let my baby down. I’m so upset…”

Cue onslaught of BF mothers saying, “well, I’ve never witnessed that so I don’t believe it happens to FF. FF is ‘the norm’ so why would anyone criticise you? Whereas I was BF in John Lewis cafe the other day and an old man told me I should cover up and stop showing off. I’m devastated. And rightly so. Where the BF support?”

I don’t think I’ve seen a FF mother criticise breastfeeding or women that do it. The worst you’ll see is a woman feeling understandably defensive when a thread goes a similar way to this absolute shitshow, and who then likely feels the need to justify her choice to FF, which for many has included an emotional and difficult decision.

But really, I don’t give a shit how anyone else feeds their child. I wish they’d extend the same courtesy to others. It’s a MINUSCULE element of parenting. And I have BF.

It doesn’t fucking matter. They’re still going to mainline shit alcohol and kebabs as soon as they get to Freshers’ Week.

I mean, unless you avoid ever breathing in a particulate, eat entirely organic and are sugar free, consume only totally filtered water from a melted glacier, exercise for 450 minutes a week at least and sleep for ten hours a night without waking, you’re basically as fucked as anyone else.

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I had one woman walk past whilst breastfeeding whispering disgusting. It's ridiculous. And one woman give me a dirty look in a restaurant. What do they expect me to do. Let him starve. Its groups on Facebook where I've seen it. Stuff like you're better to give formula so they sleep through. My son has slept through since 11 weeks. Its not how they eat. Some babies love sleep and some don't.

Emmamoo89 · 05/02/2023 20:03

Parker231 · 05/02/2023 18:22

And formula was amazing for my DC’s. Healthy babies and importantly happy parents. My and DH’s parents flew over for regular visits and did all the night feeds so we weren’t struggling for sleep.

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I was lucky with my son. He slept through from 11 weeks. Like I've said to other mothers. It's not what they eat to how well they sleep. It's down to the baby.

x2boys · 05/02/2023 20:10

NOBODY should be judged for how they feed their baby ,it's their choice wether breast Fed or formula Fed ,I just don't understand why people care how other mother's feed their own child ,i in the great scheme of things it's such a short space of time.

Citycentre3 · 05/02/2023 20:11

It is a well known fact the more educated the woman, the more likely they are to breastfeed. Age is a factor too. Younger mothers are more likely not to bother.

Parker231 · 05/02/2023 20:13

Citycentre3 · 05/02/2023 20:11

It is a well known fact the more educated the woman, the more likely they are to breastfeed. Age is a factor too. Younger mothers are more likely not to bother.

I’ve a 1st class honours degree and post grad qualifications and chose to use formula.

Cuppasoupmonster · 05/02/2023 20:14

Citycentre3 · 05/02/2023 20:11

It is a well known fact the more educated the woman, the more likely they are to breastfeed. Age is a factor too. Younger mothers are more likely not to bother.

Do you ‘bother’ feeding your children only organic food?

dirt · 05/02/2023 20:22

Citycentre3 · 05/02/2023 20:11

It is a well known fact the more educated the woman, the more likely they are to breastfeed. Age is a factor too. Younger mothers are more likely not to bother.

I was 16 with dc1. And I BF them.

dirt · 05/02/2023 20:23

@Saltywalruss it is not always best for mum and baby.

VioletaDelValle · 05/02/2023 20:25

Breastfeeding is best for mum and baby.

Not always

Emmamoo89 · 05/02/2023 20:25

x2boys · 05/02/2023 20:10

NOBODY should be judged for how they feed their baby ,it's their choice wether breast Fed or formula Fed ,I just don't understand why people care how other mother's feed their own child ,i in the great scheme of things it's such a short space of time.

You can breastfeed longer than can give them formula. I personally I'm only going to breastfeed till he's 2 but I know people do it longer just not for me

dirt · 05/02/2023 20:29

Can someone tell me how a lactation consultants would've made my baby able to digest my milk?

Oh and it was DC1 who got the ear infections.

And you absolutely cannot tell which of mine were BF and which were FF.

Mitfordian · 05/02/2023 20:36

Citycentre3 · 05/02/2023 20:11

It is a well known fact the more educated the woman, the more likely they are to breastfeed. Age is a factor too. Younger mothers are more likely not to bother.

Yes it is, which is why socioeconomic factors confound the research on the benefits and why sibling studies are required to confirm they are minimal on an individual level.

Abouttimemum · 05/02/2023 20:39

Parker231 · 05/02/2023 20:13

I’ve a 1st class honours degree and post grad qualifications and chose to use formula.

Show quote history

Same - 40s, we’ll educated, professional career, chose formula. And I made that decision all by myself, not because of any adverts.

I don’t care how anyone feeds their baby as long as they’re both happy.

BubziOwl · 05/02/2023 20:46

I agree your not causing harm by formula feeding in that moment, but at the same time you are not preventing harm either, because the reality is the baby has less antibodies to fight off any infection that comes their way in the future.

This just isn't how antibodies in breast milk work, they don't fight future infections. I love breastfeeding and feel strongly about empowering those who wish to do it to be able to do so, but I don't understand why people insist on pretending breast milk does things that it just biologically cannot do.

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 05/02/2023 20:55

Even though there’s a few absolute nutcases on this thread, professing absolute nonsense about breastfeeding, it has, in the main, been mothers who FF and/or BF posting reasonable and decent things supporting mothers who FF and/or BF.

So, I suppose that’s something. Long live reasonable kind people. Motherhood is a gauntlet of judgement at the absolute best of times. Why turn on ourselves?

BridieConvert · 05/02/2023 21:10

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 05/02/2023 20:55

Even though there’s a few absolute nutcases on this thread, professing absolute nonsense about breastfeeding, it has, in the main, been mothers who FF and/or BF posting reasonable and decent things supporting mothers who FF and/or BF.

So, I suppose that’s something. Long live reasonable kind people. Motherhood is a gauntlet of judgement at the absolute best of times. Why turn on ourselves?

👏👏👏

Citycentre3 · 05/02/2023 21:11

This reply has been deleted

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JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 05/02/2023 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Exhibit a: Nutcase #1

dirt · 05/02/2023 21:13

My child is now in their 20s and you've just reduced me to tears.

I desperately wanted to Bf. It was nothing to do with me that I couldn't.

My baby would've died if they hadn't had a bottle.

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 05/02/2023 21:19

dirt · 05/02/2023 21:13

My child is now in their 20s and you've just reduced me to tears.

I desperately wanted to Bf. It was nothing to do with me that I couldn't.

My baby would've died if they hadn't had a bottle.

Don’t cry. There’s a few BF maniacs on here, but as I said in my previous post, most people are not like that. Thank fuck. Most people are just happy to support other women whatever they do, and commiserate with them and be kind to them if the ultimate choice was not the one they’d have liked to have made.

But remember, it is impossible to know who was fed which way. All kids want to mainline Haribo and drink Christ knows what when they get to their teen years.

A fed and happy baby is the goal. And bonding is not affected by how you feed your baby.

dirt · 05/02/2023 21:23

It's fucking ridiculous.

It is NOT always best to BF - for mother or baby.

My baby would have died. They were STARVING on my milk. What part of that is hard to understand?

Feel sorry for my poor grown up child who had a plastic bottle teat put in their mouth. So they could grow and thrive.

This place is another world