Ridiculous 'arty' property photos

[DuckBushCityLimit]

I know this sort of thing has been done many times, but... I'm in the market for a house, not a bichon frise!

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/131285420#/?channel=RES_BUY

I wanted to scream: push that bloody chair in!

But you can't see what the rooms actually look like. I mean the bathroom picture tells me nothing.

Those photos are so frustrating, you can’t tell anything about room sizes / layouts.

The dog photo is also ridiculous, even as a doggy person I find it off-putting! When selling our place we hid all of our cat paraphernalia for the photos and then, as we scrolled the photos on Rightmove, there she was in the background anyway. I could’ve sworn she was outside!

I'd love to see how they would stage my house with my wonky cupboard doors, fisher price plastic toys and lego everywhere, cot crammed in the bedroom and the dog lying in the middle of the floor licking his dick.

My favourite photo is the picnic blanket on the dog pee burnt grass in the last couple of feet of the north facing garden, just out of the shade that gets a little stripe of sun.

It's better than the house pics I've seen recently where the agent hasn't done anything whatsoever to stage the house -towels screwed up on the bathroom floor, beds unmaid etc.

They do this with holiday cottages as well, drives me mad.

Especially when you get hardly any photos of the actual room, just close up photos of bloody teapots/jugs of flowers 🙄

Yeah. Highest cringe is the picnic shot for me. With the discarded hat ...

Sebastian carelessly cast his hat to the ground and chased Jocasta all the way down to the bottom field leaving behind the remnants of their al fresco feast ....... ha ha ha

In fairness - the water pressure was awful when we bought our house- I'd have found a tap running photo helpful 😂

It's on the other side of the train track to the local tip which all the local blurb doesn't tell you! Think they might be trying to distract from that (but very near the main Tesco's).

£600k 😵‍💫 the Airbnb style photos haven’t worked their magic on me.

That's a £200k house here.

For £600k I'd expect a shitsoodoodledoo.

The mention of the Metropolitan police bike lock is weird. To me that shouts high crime area, else why would you need such a strong lock.

The arty photos only highlight that the house is poky. If the estate agent is too tight to cough up for a decent camera and lens to take photos, what else are they scrimping on.

Don't worry! I emailed the agent and linked in in this post with a big smiley face. I told them I thought 600 grand for a fucking dog was a bit on the high side but I'm glad he came with his own picnic basket.

Forgot to mention upthread that the duel child bedroom picture is annoying,max the left hand picture is blurred. Maybe meant to look arty, but the truth of the matter is that it’s blurred.

I presume estate agents get statistics on number of hits a property is looked at. Until @EhAmIBeingStupid contact explaining the reason, this house will probably be top of the table!

nah, they won't read their emails for a week

The dog was the best thing about that. Lacklustre house & decor.

@EhAmIBeingStupid

Hey Look! You're email must have prompted the EA to include a floor plan...you've done your good deed for the day! You must receive a bit of commission if the property sells

YOUR email

The dog and mural are a bit distracting.

But otherwise they've done a good job of balancing the need to convey a sense of the scale of the rooms and also give it an overall 'personality'.

The house has been styled well.

(It's a very attractive property imo.)

The Kitchen shots with the cookery book propped open are hilarious.

Pffffft

“Oh gosh! The photographer caught me mid whipping up of some Mary Berry treats for the family! How embarrassing!”

The dog's the best thing in the house.