Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Toddler cancer diagnosis “every parent has something to worry about”

143 replies

Calmondeck · 29/01/2023 11:39

I’m currently in denial about a cancer diagnosis my 20-month-old received yesterday. He will undergo a general anaesthesia 7am Monday morning for a full examination of the extent of the tumour.

IRL, I have only told my best friend who responded with “well I’ve looked up the cancer and it seems there is a very high survival rate. So this will just be like all of the other things all of the parents we know are dealing we. We have (insert her baby’s name) respiratory issues, (friend’s baby) has hip dysplasia, (another friend’s baby) has food allergies. You’re not alone, we’re all coping with something”.

I won’t know until tomorrow how bad the cancer is, or what the treatment is going to look like… but her reaction made me wonder… does having a child with cancer really feel like that? Like just another childhood medical issue? At this stage I feel numb and like our universe is about to be flipped on its head.

Does anyone have experience with infant cancer?

OP posts:
Daisychainsandglitter · 30/01/2023 07:54

I'm so sorry to hear you and your family are going through this. My very best wishes to you and your son and I hope today is as positive as it can be.
Your friend is thoughtless and certainly not someone you need around you right now.
Sending you love and hugs.

kittensinthekitchen · 31/01/2023 21:43

@Calmondeck

How did things go at the hospital? I hope the news wasn't as bad as it could have been x

Original poster
Calmondeck · 04/02/2023 18:53

Thank you so much to everyone for the hugely positive supportive messages. Very sadly when we saw the specialist this week, the diagnosis was worse than expected. The doctors are confident they will save his life, but the road to get there is narrow. Poor little man has had two operations and two rounds of chemo already this week. We’re home from the hospital today and wondering whether the past week truly happened. There is something about being pregnant at the same time this is happening that has us quite overwhelmed, but many many thanks for pointing us in the direction of the cancer forum and other support.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Children's health General health
AuntyMabelandPippin · 04/02/2023 19:02

Oh I'm so, so sorry to hear this.

You and your family are in my thoughts OP.

Sirzy · 04/02/2023 19:03

So sorry to hear that. Make sure you find time to take care of yourself too

BrookeDavisQueen · 04/02/2023 19:50

Sending you all the love OP. Take some time to rage at the injustice then you can focus on the confidence the doctors have in his future. You will get through this, as impossible as it may seem now.

FlamingoQueen · 04/02/2023 20:59

I’m so sad to read your update. I will be thinking of you all and sending hugs Flowers

Neighbourscominghome · 04/02/2023 22:43

I'm so sorry to read this update. Take care of yourself and each other. Hang onto that positive prognosis and take it a day at a time. Thinking of you all.

BrutusMcDogface · 05/02/2023 08:52

Oh, I’m so sorry to read your update. Sending love ❤️

QueenLagertha · 05/02/2023 08:53

So sad to read this OP. Thinking of you

endoflevelbaddy · 05/02/2023 08:59

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, incredibly hard and I hope your friend is being more supportive knowing what you do now.

I've not RTFT so apologise if this has been mentioned, but I have a few friends who have been through this with their children and I just wanted to make you aware that if you have critical illness cover you may be able to claim in this situation. Can really help if you're needing time of work etc, although I'm sure that's the least of your concerns just now 💐

Dragonsandcats · 05/02/2023 09:02

.I imagine your friend was shocked, and being an idiot blurted put something stupid. Wishing you all the best for the scan tomorrow, I hope you get a treatment plan sorted quickly.

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 05/02/2023 09:26

Your friend should be ashamed, for so
many reasons.

waterlego · 05/02/2023 09:34

Sounds like your friend means well and is trying to be reassuring but has gone about it very clumsily. A cancer diagnosis in a toddler is not ‘just one of those things’ that parents have to take in their stride.

I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now but I hope you have plenty of support, and I wish you and your child all the very best for the next stages of investigation and treatment. 💐

waterlego · 05/02/2023 09:36

Just seen your update- I’m so sorry to hear that the situation is more serious than previously anticipated. You have a tough road ahead and I wish you strength for the fight.

Sahara123 · 05/02/2023 10:44

My son is going through cancer treatment at the moment, although not as young as yours . And this is on top of physical and learning disabilities. From the minute cancer is mentioned I felt so sick and anxious I had physical pain in my chest , he’s been through a lot already but this is something else . When we actually got started with surgery and treatment I felt a bit better , but this has been and continues to be the most agonising time . A cancer diagnosis is so scary and unlike most other diagnoses.
I’d like to highly recommend Maggies cancer care , check the website for locations all over the country, or phone to talk to someone. Walking into a Maggies is the most calming and supportive experience, they are so knowledgeable, you don’t need an appointment or even have particular questions, just walk in and they will take care of you and your family. Great benefits advisors too if you think that might be helpful.
We’ve found our families, friends and neighbours have all been so kind and wanting to help , your friend sounds thoughtless to be honest .
Take care of yourself and you family x

TheYearOfSmallThings · 05/02/2023 11:31

I'm so sorry that you are all having to go through this. Wishing you all the best Flowers

KathieFerrars · 05/02/2023 11:44

Every best wish. The word cancer has huge connotations for people. I found when I had it that some people ignored me because they didn't want to think about it, some were rather hysterical and I had one work colleague keep exclaiming 'but you've still got your hair, and then others just were magnificent. Give up and avoid the first two types.

Having a treatment plan helps. Thinking of you and your lovely boy. I am sure he is surrounded by the best of care.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page