This training course is out of date, uses an abysmal online learning environment that is less navigable than fucking Moodle circa 2002, it is not necessary to have to sit through the slides being read out by a computer generated voice when you haven't selected the 'read the fucking slides out in a slow monotone' option, WHY have you put the course reference materials (which read like a fucking Victorian novel in terms of verbosity, trailing off, leaping to totally unconnected items and the shitty unreadable font on screen) in a completely different part of the VLE that means you have to log out and log back in?
And NOW you announce (because the details were hidden in the VLE equivalent of a filing cabinet in the toilet of the basement of the planning office behind three boxes of Covid tests and a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard) that oh, by the way, you need to make friends with the other unfortunate bastards on this course and then pick one to work with on a project - oh, no, now you need four others and swap your most recent confidential work from your employment with them for analysis, oh, and there's another five you need to connect with to talk about your opinions of the other four's confidential work and you need to get about 10 people who work as volunteers and can barely manage their emails to register for an online appraisal system where they get to rate your performance when they haven't a scooby as long as you make sure they have tea and biscuits when they meet.
And then there's the 121 session which is dependent upon those people doing what you didn't even know they had to do in advance or you'd have never started this because they won't fucking do it and then analysing their criticisms of you and then planning a research project that addresses 10 of those criticisms without repetition hesitation or deviationand then get it approved or have to completely rewrite it and find another person in the cohort who wants to do exactly the same thing and THEN you have your work sent to a panel who have already stated that people like you in your situation should not be doing the job AND at the same time, you have to do your own fucking job(s). AND being told that sexism cannot possibly be a thing around the problems that the women on the course have described really, really grates on me right now.
And I'm only here because there's a sneaky clause in the new agreement that demands I have this fucking qualification when with all the qualifications I have, I really don't need the equivalent of an 11th fucking A Level.
Oh, and my sister's just died of a condition I've got similar symptoms of and am now on a two week wonder referral for, but all I got was an email saying if I wanted I could withdraw from the course and start again whilst simultaneously costing my employer two lots of fees AND losing my job due to the new requirement to qualify because it's absolutely impossible to pass the course if I didn't attend this bloody Zoom training this morning because it's impossible to pass without being forced into breakout rooms to discuss why somebody might not want to break the law at work when it's absolutely fucking obvious that breaking the law at work is a really, really bad fucking idea?
What I actually said was 'OK. Can I book the 121 for the last date on the list, please?'. Because if I don't complete the qualification, that part of my contract, which accounts for a significant proportion of my salary, would cease.