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Original poster

School incident - with 11 year old

111 replies

Fentylipgloss · 25/01/2023 22:47

A friend of mine, her little boy who started year 7 was subjected to a horrible situation today.

He went to use the loo and the urinals were all being used so he went into a toilet but there was no lock. While he was peeing, 5 or 6 year 10s came in, they pushed his door and he was trying to keep it shut but it hit hit him in the face giving him a fat lip, then he noticed there was 3 lads taking pics or video from above in the next door toilet.

This kid is traumatised, he's already an anxious little thing.

The school knew who it was cause there's cctv cameras everywhere. They've been spoken to, had their phones checked and there was no 'evidence', their punishment is going to be a detention as apparently and I quote the headmistress, "they are really nice boys". Not that nice to be wanting to catch on camera a little boy peeing.

What my friend is worried about is that it's gone straight on WhatsApp or Snapchat.

As of right now, her son doesn't want to go back to school, or get on the school bus.

What would you do?
Would you go in and speak to the head?
Insist on a more harsh punishment?

This kind of behaviour is utterly unacceptable. I can't advise her because I would be that parent who acts first and thinks later where my son is concerned.

OP posts:

LimeTreeGrove · 26/01/2023 15:23

Fentylipgloss · 26/01/2023 14:58

@Nimbostratus100

I get what you're saying, but then for a working single mum who does out of school hours shifts it's awfully hard for her to be able to speak to anyone.

Has she emailed? That way she can send it when it's convenient for her and they can read it as soon as they're able to

Nimbostratus100 · 26/01/2023 16:09

I agree, email is the best way to have a conversation with the school

Original poster

Fentylipgloss · 26/01/2023 23:09

Update:-

There is definitely a picture 'somewhere'.

The deputy head visited my friend at home. Her son was able to say the phone with a flash on had a red case so that narrowed the 'cameraman' down.

The boys have all been put into isolation for 5 weeks. The school also notified the police as the boy is 16.

The boy who took the picture is from an extremely religious family and are devastated at his behaviour and want to write my friend an apology.

I might have missed bits out but that's all I can remember right now.

OP posts:

WeepingSomnambulist · 26/01/2023 23:11

The family want to apologise on behalf of their son? Or the son has actually realised what a shit he was and he wants to apologise?

All the boys should be apologising but also getting some training/education in sexual harassment and violence.

Logicalreasoning · 26/01/2023 23:17

I don’t understand why older kids get a kick out of humiliating younger kids. DS is in year 10, he’s autistic and he said a few times he’s walked into the toilets and kids from his year are doing questionable things, he’s walked out and then had to rush to another set of toilets before he wets himself. For the most he has a toilet in the SEN room he spends time in but sometimes has to use the others. He said younger kids tend to walk in and out straight away because there’s older kids hanging about.

saraclara · 26/01/2023 23:21

Thank goodness the SLT finally acted properly. I hope the DH was able to give the poor lad the confidence to go into school tomorrow, and that he'll be supported once there.

Namaste6 · 26/01/2023 23:27

Good that the school notified the police. They need to go in and scare the bejesus out of the boys.

I hope your friends son has more confidence to go back to school. Hopefully the staff will be prepared and will make him feel super welcome when he returns.

Some kids are just shits.

LimeTreeGrove · 27/01/2023 13:50

Thank goodness the school are finally acting appropriately. It's strange that it took your friend contacting them for them to deal with it properly. Hope the victim is OK. I'm glad the Head has accepted the boy has another side to him and that the family are apologetic

Fundays12 · 27/01/2023 13:56

Fentylipgloss · 26/01/2023 23:09

Update:-

There is definitely a picture 'somewhere'.

The deputy head visited my friend at home. Her son was able to say the phone with a flash on had a red case so that narrowed the 'cameraman' down.

The boys have all been put into isolation for 5 weeks. The school also notified the police as the boy is 16.

The boy who took the picture is from an extremely religious family and are devastated at his behaviour and want to write my friend an apology.

I might have missed bits out but that's all I can remember right now.

OP as this boy is 16 the school are right it's a police matter. The family maybe devastated as I imagine most parents would be but it wouldn't let them write to me because it now a legal matter. At 16 he needs to be held accountable for his actions and actually it's a major safeguarding flag plus potentially sexual harrassment. Your friends poor son needs a huge amount of support and these kids need excluded.

MadamArcati99 · 28/02/2023 19:54

He went to use the loo and the urinals were all being used

so there must be witnesses?

Shinyandnew1 · 28/02/2023 20:00

The boys have all been put into isolation for 5 weeks

Goodness, I have not known isolation to be used for such a long period of time. I would have thought a fixed-term suspension would be used.

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