School incident - with 11 year old

[Fentylipgloss]

A friend of mine, her little boy who started year 7 was subjected to a horrible situation today.

He went to use the loo and the urinals were all being used so he went into a toilet but there was no lock. While he was peeing, 5 or 6 year 10s came in, they pushed his door and he was trying to keep it shut but it hit hit him in the face giving him a fat lip, then he noticed there was 3 lads taking pics or video from above in the next door toilet.

This kid is traumatised, he's already an anxious little thing.

The school knew who it was cause there's cctv cameras everywhere. They've been spoken to, had their phones checked and there was no 'evidence', their punishment is going to be a detention as apparently and I quote the headmistress, "they are really nice boys". Not that nice to be wanting to catch on camera a little boy peeing.

What my friend is worried about is that it's gone straight on WhatsApp or Snapchat.

As of right now, her son doesn't want to go back to school, or get on the school bus.

What would you do?
Would you go in and speak to the head?
Insist on a more harsh punishment?

This kind of behaviour is utterly unacceptable. I can't advise her because I would be that parent who acts first and thinks later where my son is concerned.

Call the police.

Child was assaulted and indecent material taken that could be shared online.

The school's reaction is appalling & Head should not be in their job if they think ''they are nice boys'' is an adequate response.

Raise official complaint (governors & Ofsted).

These boys' parents also need to be involved in this.

The school should also have had locks on all the toilets' doors in the first place and were negligent.

Aww poor bairn, I would be raging if this was my son. Please go to the head, get the bully's kicked out. I would keep him at home until the school have made sure they have been dealt with.
Some kids are just awful.

This entirely

Police could do a more extensive search of their phones and Internet activity to find out if they still have the footage or if it has been posted anywhere online.

To have done this, chances are the boys aren't nice. They've just never been caught doing anything wrong before. And if they are nice, they won't be for much longer if they get away with this virtually unscathed.

All you can do is go to the police.

If the school won't do anything, calk the police and report assault.

I agree with everyone else. Their response is absolutely unacceptable and they probably just want to sweep it under the carpet as it looks bad on the school. I think I would also involve the police in this matter. The poor boy.

Literally, Impossible to know! Either way still wholly inappropriate and unacceptable

The Heads comments about them being nice boys shows an appalling lack of judgement. Honestly, I would consider complaining to the chair of governors.

That's a police issue.

There was a similar incident at our school before Christmas - although there wasn't any assault involved. The boys who were thought to be filming (Yr10 again) were excluded for 3 days and have lost a particular priveldge for the whole of the spring term too. This seems like a far more fitting punishent than a detention.

In the case of the OP I think the schools response is shockingly bad.

'Nice boys'. Ted Bundy was considered a charming young man.

The head teacher should judge by their actions, not their warped opinions. They physically and emotionally abused a much younger boy. That's called bullying at the very least.

The school have reacted woefully and maybe in a cowardly way. Maybe these nice boys have parents who are on the governing body or high up in the PTA? Either that or they are too lazy to implement effective discipline.

Hope your friend gets the response needed.

I'm a secondary school teacher and I'd go to the police. I would not expect anything less than a fixed term exclusion and possibly a permanent exclusion

This is a police matter, the principal has proven she's not taking it as seriously as it should be.

I would certainly go in there and demand more is done.

She's back in work this morning at 8 so I don't know if she was able to speak to the school before she got in.

I think that needs to be changed. Some parents aren't able to speak to the school during working hours for whatever reason, I honestly believe there should be someone manning the phones out of hours from 7-8.30am and 3.30-6.30pm.

I used to teach in a school that had y7 only toilets, as they were scared of going.

Maybe suggest that to the school too.

Definitely call the police x

This would be taken extremely seriously in my school too. The boys would have a fixed term exclusion at the very least, and it could likely be a permanent exclusion. The school have dealt with this appallingly. The mum definitely needs to go into school. This is a huge safeguarding issue.

Her little boy didn't go in today, too scared :-(

Poor little bugger, I'd push hard on this one
Head just wants it to go away rather than deal with it
They need excluding. One message loud and clear and a reassurance that he will be kept safe
O

Oh that poor little boy. This is just heartbreaking. Mum definitely needs to push this - contact school and police. If necessary complaint to chair of governors. If all of this doesn’t help she can also go to Ofsted because it’s a major safeguarding issue. I don’t suggest this lightly, but as a final option I would do it. School have a legal duty to make sure children are safe in school and they seem to be failing badly.

I would stop calling him a "little boy". I understand why you're doing it, but it's not helping.

Having said that, the school's response is unacceptable. And it proves to me, as I suspected, that DS' school was a good choice for us. A slightly similar situation happened with DS in the first term of Year 7. Not in the bathroom, but boys trying to bully and fight him. The school took it very seriously. Got all children who were involved or had seen it in to give statements. Reviewed CCTV footage. DS was given support and the boys involved were all in isolation for between 1-2 days. And in his case, he didn't even actually get hurt because he was able to dodge.

Your friend should absolutely be insisting that as her child is physically harmed, there is no doubt that there has been physical assault and it needs to be dealt with. I'm inclined to say the video probably weren't taken becuase in my experience, those videos whip round school in about 10 seconds so no record of it probably means there wasn't one.

that is really totally unrealistic - 4.5 hours a day, x 5 days a week x 39 weeks a year x £9.50 an hour =£8336 per year, plus sick pay, plus annual leave, plus pension, plus finding someone to do it who didn't mind having a 7 hour gap in their working day, and no chid care issues themselves.. Or split the hours and pay between a morning and afternoon receptionist, and finding two people without any child care issues themselves

And then, who would be free to have the phone call transferred to them anyway?

That is not a feasible or sensible solution

@Nimbostratus100

I get what you're saying, but then for a working single mum who does out of school hours shifts it's awfully hard for her to be able to speak to anyone.