Why is there so much anxiety in kids?

[JudesBiggestFan]

Spoke to a family member earlier who is a teaching assistant.
Said the number of kids off with anxiety at her high school is phenomenal. Anecdotally I know of so so many severe issues....panic attacks, school refusal etc. 'Because Covid' seems to be the answer..along with why there is so much bullying/poor behaviour in schools. Is this why or is there more to it?
My own three boys seem fine thus far, but as I'm an emergency services worker, they only missed a really minimal amount of school.
But the poor behaviour of others does impact on the classroom environment/teacher stress so still has an effect on them.
So what is the reason? And what can be done? School days are supposed to be happy and carefree and it just feels like kids are just so sad.

😂 Some people don’t have a garden or bikes or camping equipment and didn’t have the same opportunities to get out and do nice things. A single parent living on the 20th floor of a high rise flat with 3 kids under 10 for example trying to work from home and homeschool with not enough devices for everyone or time to do everything. And maybe it wasn’t just hard to keep relative well, relatives died! Silly mum not taking the positives from lockdown life. 🙄

And I say that as someone who was fine through lockdown. Large house in the country with land, could work at home with 2 kids whose schools kept them on track with learning and multiple devices to do schoolwork, FaceTime friends. We could take advantage of spending more time together, we have pets which were extremely good company etc.

But can you really not see that it was extremely difficult for some people in their situations and framing it as positive was impossible really. I guess some people find it difficult to put themselves in other peoples situations. You should try it.

Agree that doctor did you a disservice.

But obviously, one example of a poor doctor 30 years ago, is no reflection of the issues facing our young generation today.

we started 2020 like any other year - I imagine a lot of us had things we were looking forward to, dates in our calendar and an expectation as to what the year will bring, for my DD for example it was SATS, year 6 Prom and starting high school.

we ended 2020 in lockdown being told that hugging grandparents could kill them and to stay away from people

the effect of that is huge. It isn’t how lockdown was, it is that lockdown occurred in the first place. Childhood should be about not having to worry about things and just believing everything is going to be ok. Covid and our reaction to it (plus the actual effects of having Covid) took that away.

it forced a whole generation to grow up. It forced another into isolation (from which if you read on here a lot are still in) coupled with access to social media that means they are well aware of climate change/Ukraine and risks of Nuclear war

and none of us had the answers as to when and how it would be over. So another harsh lesson that adults don’t have the answer came in a short sharp shock

and then we have now gone it’s all fine back to normal without anything to say that is true

Amoung other reasons PP have pointed out I think we start formal learning far too young. Both my children enjoyed reception but both have struggled in year one. DS1 is summer born so he is still only 5 going through year 1, he spends most of his time at a desk, he is having a phonics test this year and I have recently found out that the teacher has often had to keep him in at break to complete work he didn't finish in class. It makes me so sad, he should be allowed to be a five year old, learning at his age should still be play based.

Because Covid is a pretty good reason. Our youngest was isolated at home with us for 16 month a until vaccines were available because of his CEV dad. His sixth form was spent on a screen in the attic office.

He's out in the world now and doing pretty well, we think but I’m sure it left it’s mark.

I think lots of people have forgotten just how isolating it was for so many kids.

Interesting thread. I’ve wondered this recently as I’ve become a parent in the last year. I think it’s a mix of helicopter parenting, encouraging introspective thinking, and labelling normal emotions..

I have to say when considering childcare options I did wonder whether childcare settings play a part in this. Got me thinking about how that’s changed though over recent generations and whether there could be a link. And the digital world we now live in I suspect aswell but perhaps more for older children. X

I agree with this. We put adult pressures on children too young and don't allow them sufficient time or space to explore and discover their own strengths and weaknesses.

And the punitive and authoritarian regime in many secondary schools. I travel on public transport a lot and frequently hear schoolchildren stressing that they're going to be put in detention due to a particularly bad traffic jam making them late because their school has a 'zero tolerance' policy. Something largely out of their control, but yet they're punished for it. Many secondary schools take an approach which seems to be the opposite of supportive and nurturing.

I think just like adults, children need access to nature, exercise and play, strong social connections and a community, guardians and role models, peer relationships, a sense of hope, rest, nutrition, plenty of water.

Are children able to play and rest in the same way? Or have devices dominate the landscape?

I used to be an anxious child. On holidays I came to life. Back at school I was terrified.

Because you can't just be nervous about anything anymore. Pre exam nerves are now 'anxiety' and must be treated with kid gloves. We are doing children no favours by not teaching resilience.

I also don't understand about lockdown being traumatic for the average child. Not sure the same can be said for many adults though.

Toddlerteaplease · Today 12:05
I also don't understand about lockdown being traumatic for the average child“

You don’t understand why not being able to interact with peers is not good for their wellbeing?

I remember having to take a term off school when I was a kid because of an accident.

I loved it for a few days and then sank into a really low mood and was very scared to go back, so I can see how it would impact. Also just not being able to see friends. Friends are a huge part of your life as a child/teen.

I also think children are exposed to too much news. Worrying about Covid, China, world wars. It makes the world seem terrifying and hopeless. There is the narrative of the decaying West. That's not easy to grow up with. Especially when youre raised to think you should earn more and do better than your parents.

But also I think this anxiety is normal. Kids have always been anxious but many had to hide it.

So you think anxiety in kids is due to neurotic parenting. Have you read my post about the trauma we as a family have gone through?

I hope to god you ever have to suffer what we have and then try and deal with the aftermath afterwards. Dealing with grief, illness, cancer and witness to a violent assault that my kids and I have had to go through their anxiety and distress is not the result of neurotic parenting

some proper ignorance on this thread

Never not ever *

Exactly! Life is hard. Why wouldn't children and adults for that matter be anxious?

This thread is a bit harsh. I have 1 incredibly anxious dd and 2 with late diagnosed asd. She's taken an overdose and refused school. Glad to know she's making a fuss and it's down to my neurotic parenting and that the other 2 have just been given a label

👏👏👏

Some very old fashioned views of mental health on this thread. Teenagers today are growing up in a fiercely competitive environment and have the pressures of social media to contend with. As a country we have through a lot of instability over the past few years, the divisiveness of Brexit (which has also limited their future options and harmed the economy) a pandemic, and are faced with global warming which no one seems to be acting fast enough on. Being a teenager is a time full of trying to figure out who you are and deal with exam pressures, it's tough anyway, but it's exacerbated by the above issues and made much more difficult for the teens of today.

radiogaga6 · Today 12:37
Some very old fashioned views of mental health on this thread. Teenagers today are growing up in a fiercely competitive environment and have the pressures of social media to contend with. As a country we have through a lot of instability over the past few years, the divisiveness of Brexit (which has also limited their future options and harmed the economy) a pandemic, and are faced with global warming which no one seems to be acting fast enough on. Being a teenager is a time full of trying to figure out who you are and deal with exam pressures, it's tough anyway, but it's exacerbated by the above issues and made much more difficult for the teens of today“”

Exactly, this ^

@Cuppasoupmonster yes. I definitely have a few of these.
I fear for the judgement on parenting of the past. I said my mum chased us with a slipper on a post a while back and was told she was abusive. She's really not and I think most kids got a slapped arse at some point (I know I deserved it!)
We just need to accept we all have flaws and sometimes get things wrong.

For the kids, too much choice. There's a place for just deciding for them. And too much expectation of 'living your best life' and : making memories '. Just live what you've got. Sometimes it will be shit, sometimes boring and it definitely won't look like Instagram.

I am trying to teach mine to find pleasure in the small things like a nice view, playing with friends. Eldest is not a deep thinker and think that might be an advantage!

Shit parenting.

yes My dh dying was shit parenting 😂

me having a serious heart defect is shit parenting

my mum and my aunt getting cancer is shit parenting

my 4 dc unable to see thier parent or me, unable ti attend our hospital wedding due to covid restrictions is shit parenting.

so despite my best support engagement with the school, councelling and camhs, the fact that my dds have fallen apart have panic attacks, seperation anxiety because she thinks I’m going to die to is shit parenting. I’ve given up my job and done a lot of work with them to get them the help. Ines been diagnosed with ptsd. Shit parenting yep

rightio 😂😂