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Would you choose Doctor Assisted Suicide for yourself?

276 replies

MooseBreath · 23/01/2023 11:23

Hypothetically, would you wish to sign a waiver in early stages of dementia or an illness that would one day severely reduce cognitive function? Or what circumstances would you want Doctor Assisted Suicide, if any?

I was thinking about it and I would. I don't want to live in a world without recognising my loved ones or where I cannot remember to do basic things like go to the toilet, wash myself, or eat. At that stage, for me, quality of life would be too far gone.

Maybe signing early on with very clear boundaries on what I was able to do and understand. Kind of like in the book "Still Alice".

Inspired by the thread on euthanasia and MAiD. Not here to start a bunfight, not here to discuss whether or not euthanasia should be legal, not here to discuss the ramifications of MAiD.

Interested to hear people's thoughts on the matter, purely about themselves.

OP posts:
BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 23/01/2023 14:53

Yes, definitely. In fact it’s something I intend to arrange in the future before I deteriorate further. Having seen my Mum in agony, losing her sight, her mobility and her dignity I intend to avoid extreme old age.

SnakeOiler · 23/01/2023 14:56

BensonStabler · 23/01/2023 14:01

I have a hereditary terminal progressive neurological disease, called Huntington’s Disease. I have lost already and am currently losing many of my family members from this cruelest of diseases, whilst dying from it myself.

There is a 50% chance of children inheriting it from their affected parent. I am at the moderate stage and careering headfirst into the final stage where I will be unable to move, think, walk, speak or eat, and need 24 hour nursing care. It’s symptoms are a combination of many other neurological diseases, such as ALS/MND, MS, Parkinson’s Disease, Schizophrenia, and Alzheimer’s Disease ALL at once.

My eldest brother is at end of life in a nursing home and the last time I got to visit him a few years ago he was suicidal but too weak and far gone to do anything successfully himself, so was begging me to on visits. When I hugged his tiny skeletal frame it killed me inside. I wish I could help or get help to end his suffering, and to have assisted dying for myself before getting to that stage and further hurting my DD & partner. Mostly in the absence of any real treatments or cure, I wish they would hurry up and put this option in place for her, so I can die in more relative peace knowing she has that option too if our worst fears are realised and she also has it.

I cannot put into the words the heartbreak that this causes everyone who has it, and all those closest them. It has been ripping through families for many generations in millions of families around the world. I have a DD who is it at 50% risk. The toss of a coin that happened the moment she was conceived, and she either has the affected bad gene or she has a healthy one. She came into this world before my own parent was diagnosed or showing physical signs, and their had been misdiagnosis further up in the family so I was the first in my family to be tested. I had increasing symptoms and was diagnosed 2 years after my DM passed from it. I was diagnosed age 32 when my DD was 8. I am now 43.

Unlike Alzheimer’s the dementia in this illness called Huntington’s Disease leaves you locked in a broken body and mind, but as it damages more specific parts of the brain worse than the whole thing, it can leave long term memory, awareness and understanding of those around you - fairly in tact, (mostly but not always) so you are unable to move or speak to communicate a single need or emotion, but you know that you are dying from this and hurting, and a care burden to family or others. In my case I also have multiple other chronic illnesses on top, and I will not be able to communicate that I am in extreme insufferable pain. So i imagine I will suffer more than most because of that.

Many people who have this have already spent most of their entire lives horribly affected by the ever increasing suffering of their loved ones, and in turn causes psychological pain, ptsd, complicated and anticipatory grief, and many spend all their life even from childhood being carers for their parents, grandparents etc, until either that affected person dies, or until the child has the disease themselves and can no longer care for themselves let alone anyone else.

The onset is gradual and most are diagnosed when there are definite motor signs as well as cognitive and psychological/emotional signs and symptoms. It affects people in their 30’s-50’s on average, however it can also be much later or earlier in life.

Worst of all their is a Juvenile version of the disease. Mostly (but not always) passed down from fathers to their children as the gene sort of mutates (can’t remember the specific scientific details) and more so in male sperm. So in ten percent of all the people who have Huntington’s Disease are children. Often little babies and very young children up to the age of 21 are suffering, progressively losing their functioning body and minds, dying before they have even lived, and often families have several children dying of this form all at the same time whilst their parent and aunts, uncles, cousins are dying from it too. Worst and cruelest of all - the children get a different but similar set of symptoms and tragically it progresses much faster and they die sooner than the adults do.

I hate the term suicide in this. The people who are wanting to use this assistance to end their suffering from terminal and progressive diseases, want to live! (Just not like this) They didn’t ask for this and would love nothing more than to be able to be around to be in their children's lives and watch their grandchildren grow. I 100% want this option for assisted dying. I don’t like the thought of barbiturates drink whilst you are awake and aware. I think you should be able to spend time with your family and say your goodbyes and then be put under general anaesthesia and then let the medicines do their job. I have had many generals and it’s just like being put into the loveliest sleep. We are kinder to animals for sure.

In conditions like mine I think that there should be the option to sign your consent and wishes for long before you get to that stage of suffering that you do not want to be in. Because as dementia progresses you can no longer consent. My only option now is to sign a DNR soon to be put in place, but by the time I would need to use that, would be the point I am already in hell. I can also choose not to have peg tube feeding when I am choking on food, water, saliva and aspirating regularly and getting pneumonia (a common cause of death in HD), but it’s hard to imagine that starvation and dehydration would be a good way to go, I came pretty close when I went through the worst Hyperemesis Gravidarum when I was pregnant, I remember I wanted to just die.

Sorry for the novel, it’s complex, extremely personal subject to me, and I struggle with communicating in shorter summed up points due to my brain/cognitive defects. Thanks to any who read all the way through.

I have tears in my eyes reading this. Sending you so much love.

strawberriesarenot · 23/01/2023 14:58

Yes, no question.
Every pet we have owned has died with a hundred times more dignity and suffering than my df did, plus both my PIL. The extended family trauma did not end with their death. I dread it for myself.
It's very hard to commit suicide in a decent way.
We shouldn't be expected to endure such things. The NHS shouldn't be expected to sustain them.
The 'do no harm' thing that medics are supposed to abide by does immense harm.

Flowersintheattic57 · 23/01/2023 14:58

I don’t know that I want a ‘doctor assisted’ one. What I would like is a euthanasia packet of pills/suspensions liquid so I can decide when the time is right.
With the health problems that I have my most likely demise is that I will choke to death. Not a pleasant prospect.
If I had a dementia diagnosis, I would want that package straight away. I would rather be dead than go into a care home.

Ohgoodyanotherone · 23/01/2023 15:05

Yes and not just for dementia. If I got told I had terminal cancer, I would rather go on my own terms

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 23/01/2023 15:07

I don't know what to say, @BensonStabler. It's the cruellest fucking disease. People should absolutely be supported to end their own life on their own terms.

Love to you, and to your daughter. x

BensonStabler · 23/01/2023 15:26

Thank you to everyone who posted their love and support to me. I appreciate you so much. Flowers

I don’t post these to garner sympathy, just to educate those who are not aware, and i want to evoke empathy for ALL those people who suffer with these types of illnesses and their families.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/01/2023 15:27

Yes, and I think most people who’ve seen a parent with advanced dementia would say the same. There are fates worse than death!
However dh and I have added paragraphs to our H&W Powers of A., to state that in certain specified circs. we want no life saving or life prolonging treatment - palliative care only please.

Changechangychange · 23/01/2023 15:31

Flogert · 23/01/2023 13:05

I don’t think you quite understand your own standpoint. You would rather someone suffer - stop treatment to prolong life, which could be anything from medication that keeps the organs functioning, oxygen, to food and water - than be able to die when they chose. Odd choice

For me, theEd is an ethical difference between an act of omission (stopping life sustaining treatments to allow death), and an act of commission (actively giving a lethal injection).

There’s also an argument that some treatments, given when somebody clearly has no chance of recovery, you are prolonging their death instead of extending their life.

Big difference between not dragging a clearly dying patient into hospital for futile antibiotics, and actively putting a pillow over their face.

Choconut · 23/01/2023 15:40

Yes, yes, yes. Imagine what it would do for social care and the NHS if people were allowed to decide for themselves when they wanted to die. I don't think the idea of euthanasia should ever be suggested or offered to an individual as an option - it should always come from them - but it should be available to everyone if they sign up when they are well and then later get dementia.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 23/01/2023 15:47

Yes, yes, yes. Imagine what it would do for social care and the NHS if people were allowed to decide for themselves when they wanted to die.

I don't want this option to be about social care and NHS though, because then we'll get the "let's fix the NHS and social care first" dilutions. It's about my choice about my body, not about the NHS.

HamBone · 23/01/2023 15:49

Yes.

pointythings · 23/01/2023 15:50

Yes. I have money enough to go the Switzerland route. And yes, that will mean having to die early, while I still have full capacity, but I'm fine with that. My kids know and support.

Theraffarian · 23/01/2023 15:52

Absolutely yes without a doubt , and having watched a loved one fade with dementia and die not even a shadow of the person they were , I still remember walking out of the hospital during one of the last visits with such a raging sadness that a human has to suffer like this when we would never expect one of our beloved pets to.

Justmeandthedog1 · 23/01/2023 15:53

Yes, definitely. I have a Medical Directive in place, organised through Dying With Dignity, where I’ve already stated no extension of life, not to be treated in different circumstances, not to be resuscitated.

Wormwoodgal · 23/01/2023 15:53

Yes, without doubt.

Mommabear20 · 23/01/2023 15:55

100%

BensonStabler · 23/01/2023 16:01

@WoolyMammoth55 about donating to research etc there are Huntington’s Disease associations, separately in England, Scotland and so on. Look them up, any donations would go a long way as it’s relatively rare and isn’t as well known as the others.

As for lobbying I don’t really know. there are some that pop up now and then so just try bearing us in mind and support that cause in the future.

Thank you for being so thoughtful and kind Flowers

hattie43 · 23/01/2023 16:01

If I lost my mind and couldn't take care of my personal hygiene needs then yes . A doctor assistance help to leave that behind would be welcome

PauliString · 23/01/2023 16:01

Deadringer · 23/01/2023 11:46

Yes. I would like if you could sign some sort of contract that when you get to an age or state of health were you no longer feel that you have any quality of life that you could just take a pill and fall asleep, without any repercussions for others. I can imagining getting into my 80s, my health failing, in pain, having a lovely party with all my family, then going to bed and not waking up. Perfect.

My father in law, unassisted, did more or less that. In fact, the lovely big party might have contributed to his rather sudden end (felt dizzy, lay down, never recovered consciousness), but it was a good way to go.

We currently have three very frail remaining parents between us, all in their late 80s. Two would choose not to be here by now if they could. They've had enough. The other would like to pick a time 'maybe after the summer' before his physical weakness kills him off painfully. He is stolidly clearing up his house and affairs so that it's 'no trouble to you all when I'm gone'.

WhoopItUp · 23/01/2023 16:04

Yes. I have a parent with dementia. I would take my own life rather than experience what they’re going through.

BensonStabler · 23/01/2023 16:05

@SnakeOiler I'm sorry I made you sad. I truly appreciate how much compassion you have. So thank you. 💐

LaundryPrincess · 23/01/2023 16:06

Yes

lemmein · 23/01/2023 16:09

100%. I think it's an absolute travesty that we don't have the option.

BensonStabler · 23/01/2023 16:10

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches thank you so much for being so sweet and compassionate. I really appreciate you sending your love to us. Flowers

I am sorry if I miss anyone, I won’t be on here for long because I tire easily, so thanks again to everyone and thanks in advance to further posters. I really don’t want to upset anyone. x