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Would you choose Doctor Assisted Suicide for yourself?

276 replies

MooseBreath · 23/01/2023 11:23

Hypothetically, would you wish to sign a waiver in early stages of dementia or an illness that would one day severely reduce cognitive function? Or what circumstances would you want Doctor Assisted Suicide, if any?

I was thinking about it and I would. I don't want to live in a world without recognising my loved ones or where I cannot remember to do basic things like go to the toilet, wash myself, or eat. At that stage, for me, quality of life would be too far gone.

Maybe signing early on with very clear boundaries on what I was able to do and understand. Kind of like in the book "Still Alice".

Inspired by the thread on euthanasia and MAiD. Not here to start a bunfight, not here to discuss whether or not euthanasia should be legal, not here to discuss the ramifications of MAiD.

Interested to hear people's thoughts on the matter, purely about themselves.

OP posts:
OnlyTheBravest · 23/01/2023 13:50

100% yes I would. Once dementia had reached severe stage and I had no concept of who I was. I would rather depart this earth on my terms.

daisyjgrey · 23/01/2023 13:53

Yes, in a flash.

Squirrelsnut · 23/01/2023 13:54

1000%. It's astonishing to me that it's still not legal here. I've been watching my mum grow more and more immobile, desperate and depressed for 8 years. It's been hell for the whole family. I know that she would choose to end things if she could. And there's absolutely no fucking way I'm ending up like that. I'll jump of something very high if needs be.

LovelaceBiggWither · 23/01/2023 13:55

My DH's grandmother had an DNR and when the time came, his aunt panicked and insisted on all care being given. She lived another 5 years with zero quality of life.

I would prefer to go at a time of my choosing. I have an adult child with intellectual impairment and a muscle myopathy. As they cannot consent to euthanasia, they will have a difficult and painful death which I think will be harder. I fully understand why the law says what the law say but it's hard to contemplate.

Iwantabloodypizza · 23/01/2023 13:56

Christ yes.

I’m watching my dad with dementia. Living in a care home he thinks is a prison with no agency or dignity. He wants to die but he can’t do anything about it there.

I never want to put my children though this hell.

OhmygodDont · 23/01/2023 13:56

100% if I can’t remember my own name or my children’s faces just put me down. If I was ever left in a state where I could feed or toilet or wash my self again the same.

We give animals more respect and dignity than we do humans in pain or with life long conditions.

Make it an opt in with yearly review to check your thoughts are still the same.

Iwantabloodypizza · 23/01/2023 13:57

OnlyTheBravest · 23/01/2023 13:50

100% yes I would. Once dementia had reached severe stage and I had no concept of who I was. I would rather depart this earth on my terms.

Dementia is a living hell long before that point.

MaverickGooseGoose · 23/01/2023 13:58

Yes I would, for me and my family. A long drawn out painful death doesn't benefit anyone.

Andante57 · 23/01/2023 13:58

Yes without a doubt.

BensonStabler · 23/01/2023 14:01

I have a hereditary terminal progressive neurological disease, called Huntington’s Disease. I have lost already and am currently losing many of my family members from this cruelest of diseases, whilst dying from it myself.

There is a 50% chance of children inheriting it from their affected parent. I am at the moderate stage and careering headfirst into the final stage where I will be unable to move, think, walk, speak or eat, and need 24 hour nursing care. It’s symptoms are a combination of many other neurological diseases, such as ALS/MND, MS, Parkinson’s Disease, Schizophrenia, and Alzheimer’s Disease ALL at once.

My eldest brother is at end of life in a nursing home and the last time I got to visit him a few years ago he was suicidal but too weak and far gone to do anything successfully himself, so was begging me to on visits. When I hugged his tiny skeletal frame it killed me inside. I wish I could help or get help to end his suffering, and to have assisted dying for myself before getting to that stage and further hurting my DD & partner. Mostly in the absence of any real treatments or cure, I wish they would hurry up and put this option in place for her, so I can die in more relative peace knowing she has that option too if our worst fears are realised and she also has it.

I cannot put into the words the heartbreak that this causes everyone who has it, and all those closest them. It has been ripping through families for many generations in millions of families around the world. I have a DD who is it at 50% risk. The toss of a coin that happened the moment she was conceived, and she either has the affected bad gene or she has a healthy one. She came into this world before my own parent was diagnosed or showing physical signs, and their had been misdiagnosis further up in the family so I was the first in my family to be tested. I had increasing symptoms and was diagnosed 2 years after my DM passed from it. I was diagnosed age 32 when my DD was 8. I am now 43.

Unlike Alzheimer’s the dementia in this illness called Huntington’s Disease leaves you locked in a broken body and mind, but as it damages more specific parts of the brain worse than the whole thing, it can leave long term memory, awareness and understanding of those around you - fairly in tact, (mostly but not always) so you are unable to move or speak to communicate a single need or emotion, but you know that you are dying from this and hurting, and a care burden to family or others. In my case I also have multiple other chronic illnesses on top, and I will not be able to communicate that I am in extreme insufferable pain. So i imagine I will suffer more than most because of that.

Many people who have this have already spent most of their entire lives horribly affected by the ever increasing suffering of their loved ones, and in turn causes psychological pain, ptsd, complicated and anticipatory grief, and many spend all their life even from childhood being carers for their parents, grandparents etc, until either that affected person dies, or until the child has the disease themselves and can no longer care for themselves let alone anyone else.

The onset is gradual and most are diagnosed when there are definite motor signs as well as cognitive and psychological/emotional signs and symptoms. It affects people in their 30’s-50’s on average, however it can also be much later or earlier in life.

Worst of all their is a Juvenile version of the disease. Mostly (but not always) passed down from fathers to their children as the gene sort of mutates (can’t remember the specific scientific details) and more so in male sperm. So in ten percent of all the people who have Huntington’s Disease are children. Often little babies and very young children up to the age of 21 are suffering, progressively losing their functioning body and minds, dying before they have even lived, and often families have several children dying of this form all at the same time whilst their parent and aunts, uncles, cousins are dying from it too. Worst and cruelest of all - the children get a different but similar set of symptoms and tragically it progresses much faster and they die sooner than the adults do.

I hate the term suicide in this. The people who are wanting to use this assistance to end their suffering from terminal and progressive diseases, want to live! (Just not like this) They didn’t ask for this and would love nothing more than to be able to be around to be in their children's lives and watch their grandchildren grow. I 100% want this option for assisted dying. I don’t like the thought of barbiturates drink whilst you are awake and aware. I think you should be able to spend time with your family and say your goodbyes and then be put under general anaesthesia and then let the medicines do their job. I have had many generals and it’s just like being put into the loveliest sleep. We are kinder to animals for sure.

In conditions like mine I think that there should be the option to sign your consent and wishes for long before you get to that stage of suffering that you do not want to be in. Because as dementia progresses you can no longer consent. My only option now is to sign a DNR soon to be put in place, but by the time I would need to use that, would be the point I am already in hell. I can also choose not to have peg tube feeding when I am choking on food, water, saliva and aspirating regularly and getting pneumonia (a common cause of death in HD), but it’s hard to imagine that starvation and dehydration would be a good way to go, I came pretty close when I went through the worst Hyperemesis Gravidarum when I was pregnant, I remember I wanted to just die.

Sorry for the novel, it’s complex, extremely personal subject to me, and I struggle with communicating in shorter summed up points due to my brain/cognitive defects. Thanks to any who read all the way through.

whitesnowflake · 23/01/2023 14:07

Yes I would. My dm had dementia and it is brutal, it takes everything from them. I would not wish for my family to have to go through that with me or navigate the whole diagnosis and social care system. The whole ordeal is a nightmare.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 23/01/2023 14:32

I don't understand how anyone can read what BensonStabler wrote and still not comprehend why assisted dying is the preferred option for many.

I wish you all the strength in the world, BensonStabler.

ScorchBeastQueen · 23/01/2023 14:36

BensonStabler Flowers

ArseInTheDogBowl · 23/01/2023 14:37

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 23/01/2023 14:32

I don't understand how anyone can read what BensonStabler wrote and still not comprehend why assisted dying is the preferred option for many.

I wish you all the strength in the world, BensonStabler.

Agreed.

Very moving @BensonStabler 💐

Bikechic · 23/01/2023 14:39

No. I don't think so. But I would like my wishes to be respected if I don't want treatment or if I don't want to go to hospital.

bloodywhitecat · 23/01/2023 14:41

Yes, and I wish it had been possible for DH. Signing his DNAR was one of the hardest pieces of paperwork I have ever had to be involved in but I absolutely know he would've wanted me to do it.

C1N1C · 23/01/2023 14:45

If based on religious grounds you are against suicide, is doctor assisted suicide technically classed as suicide?

On the one hand, you're not doing it to yourself, so is it suicide?... but you are requesting it to be done, it is your intent to end your own life...

Thinking out loud, interested what religious voices think :)

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 23/01/2023 14:46

Yes. I have no family at all , my friends are all my age, so I would have no one to advocate for me. That’s a terrifying prospect.

Flowersonthewall123 · 23/01/2023 14:47

Yes 100%, having seen family affected by an illness I would be flying myself to
Switzerland if I ever had the same I’ll fate

WoolyMammoth55 · 23/01/2023 14:49

I just think of putting a much-loved pet to sleep. We are so clear, as a society, that there's no point prolonging suffering in our animals.

But with our elderly and our terminally ill humans we have this blindness about 'only god can end a life', or whatever...

For myself and my loved ones I'd rather opt out of prolonged suffering where there is zero quality of life left.

I think as a society death terrifies us and we want to look away - but that helps no one.

All love to you @BensonStabler - is there anything we can do to support you? Donate for research or lobby anyone?

poppym12 · 23/01/2023 14:50

Yes. Totally.

illiterato · 23/01/2023 14:50

If I was diagnosed with dementia or badly incapacitated by a stroke, I would prefer doctor assisted suicide but at the very least I intend to sign the advance decision to refuse treatment that say in those circumstances I want no further medical treatment than palliative, so no antibiotics, no resuscitation/ ventilation/ clinical feeding etc.

purplepencilcase · 23/01/2023 14:51

Yes 100%

LadySlipper · 23/01/2023 14:52

Absolutely. I've said for years that the day I get diagnosed with dementia is the day I start saving up pills, in absence of any MAiD.

SnakeOiler · 23/01/2023 14:52

Yes. I don’t want to be in a position of my loved ones having to wash me, wipe my arse and my drool. My friend’s mum starved to death in the end because she couldn’t remember how to eat. She couldn’t speak to share her pain but it must have been horrific. How is that kinder than euthanasia? I do not understand why we will put down a cat but not a human.

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