would others see this as weird creepy or offensive

[namedoesntmattter]

i started a group due to anxiety im a guy i get on with one of the other women we dont socialise just talk in group shes called claire today i called her claire bear just because it rymed one of the other women who run the group gave claire a look like i had said something unnaceptable and claire said she had no issues with it she often gets callled it but to me it seems like people take offence too easily specially over something that has nothing to do with them and the person who its said to had no issues with it does anybody else find it a strange thing to call somebody

Well you've been a bit creepy and on top of that asked the poor woman if she minded. She probably thinks you have a screw lose and appeased you by saying she didn't mind. No woman wants a creepy man being affectionate with her, but even less a creepy man being angry with her.

@pristinesurfacesGBTD

Yeah, hate it when people do their jobs and maintain social standards in a vulnerable setting.

That's exactly why you posted the thread in the first place, surely 🧐

Man: Asks women their opinions
Women: Disagree, almost unanimously
Man: UM NO actually I'm right and you're all wrong and who asked your opinions anyway GOD

It would be funny if it weren't so tragically predictable. Perhaps you should also find yourself a group for people who are incapable of introspection and emotional regulation?

I think you are only really looking for people to agree with you and back up your opinion about what happened, which is why you keep arguing with everyone on this thread. But it seems most people in this conversation disagree with you and think it was a bit over familiar in the setting. Take it as a moment for growth and reflection rather than being defensive.

Op why have you asked? You clearly don’t want to hear anything other than the other woman was in the wrong not you and are angry you aren’t being agreed with.

if you want to know then ask. If you just wish validation then don’t.

Yes, you were creepy.

And look! I’ve found a load of punctuation marks………,,,,,,,,,! Are they yours, OP?

@Fieldfly I doubt he'd recognise them 😁

Omfg why do people come on here asking for opinions and then furiously refuse to hear them?

It's literally the woman's job to get involved.

She runs a group for people with anxiety 🙄

I think the fact you felt riled enough about this to start a thread shows some quite worrying thoughts. Not weird, or creepy, worrying.

You seem to believe you have the right to do as you like. I imagine if this person was a man, you would't have posted this. Claire is a red herring really. Your issue is with the woman who you perceived to have slighted you in some way (she didn't actually say anything, by your post, she just looked at the woman). Her literal job is to watch interactions within the group. Even if it wasn't, she is allowed to look at someone.

The fact your response to people pointing this out is to say "well someone else did x and y" is worrying also. You are not at school.

I am not sure an anxiety group is the place for you.

To answer your question, yes, to call someone you don't know by something that is not their name - yes, its wrong. At best, Claire will think you're just a bit socially inept.

If I joined a group for anxiety, I'd likely hate having the spotlight on me (op singling me out with a pet name in the first place, the lady drawing attention to it, fair play to her though, then op asking me if I minded having a pet name...)
I'd hate some guy there giving me a pet name, way too over familiar and if we weren't close, I don't want you feeling closer to me than I do to you by giving me a pet name.
If I was called Claire and someone called me Claire Bear I'd actually take offence because it sounds stupid af. Not cutesy in the slightest, more like what a toddler would mindlessly rhyme together.

OP a lot of people have taken the time to give thoughtful, considered and insightful responses to your post.

If you are not willing to think about what has been said at all then I am not sure what you expected to gain from posting.

My best friend is called Claire and I call it her but she says she doesn't like it in a sort of jokey sense. I think she only lets close friends get away with it.

OP. This is the best response you can give:

”ah, I didn’t realise I was a bit over-familiar; I didn’t mean to be. Sorry, I won’t use that nickname again!”

With a smile. End of story.

Your posts on this thread show you to have very little ability to emotionally regulate. But you can work on that - only, however, if you stop, reflect, breathe, and take responsibility.

This.

You've posted here to ask advice. Why don't you listen to what we're actually telling you instead of just trying to justify yourself all the time?!

Woo woo woo
Incel alert

Is op male?

In the OP:
im a guy

Well if you’re in a group for people who have anxiety, perhaps Claire didn’t feel confident enough to tell you that it was weird?

The fact that you’re refusing to accept anyones opinions, even though you’ve asked for them, means that you’re probably comfortable with ignoring signs that someone is uncomfortable or finds what you’ve said weird.

@namedoesntmattter In case you’re still lurking - this is exactly what you’ve done.

@namedoesntmattter totally inappropriate behaviour for a group facilitator and whilst she was fine someone else may not be. Remain professional or resign from your position if you are not capable of conducting yourself in an acceptable fashion.

He isnt the facilitator, I dont think?